The gang reads
by ginnyrules27
Summary: On one wild and wet afternoon, the gang or what's left of it finds Pony's theme from two years ago. What will they do? Read it of course! Rating is for any swearing the characters may do. Now is Co-authored with Lupelovell345
1. Chapter 1

Chap. One ( Prologue)

A/N: I do not own the Outsiders or the characters

It had been raining like mad for the entire day, so the entire gang was forced to stay indoors. Even Darry, who had been scheduled to work, had to stay home. They all were either reading, watching TV or in Two-Bit's case searching through various possessions.

"I'M BORED!" Two-Bit shouted. Steve and Soda glared at him, along with Darry.

"Then read something, it won't kill you," Pony replied. This grabbed the attention of the entire gang, as Pony usually not the type to respond to Two-Bit's insane mutterings.

"Okay, okay. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed."

Two-Bit opened up Pony's backpack, and searched through it. Pony always had about five books in there (something Darry and Soda tried to talk him in to changing to no effect) when he came across Pony's theme from two years ago. It had earned him an A, thus raising Pony's semester grade from the C- it was at to a B+. Pony had never shown the gang his theme, as he wasn't sure how everyone would react.

"I'll read this!" Two- Bit cried, ignoring the death glares that everyone was giving him. "When I—"

Two-Bit was interrupted by Pony, throwing himself at the older greaser. A small fight broke out, and everyone was surprised to see Two-Bit losing steam. Pony had gotten some of his old strength back in the two years since that night, and he was determined to prevent Two-Bit (or anyone else) from reading that paper. The only reason it was still in his bag was that his current English teacher wanted to read it. Two- Bit, earning laughter from the rest of the gang, finally pinned down Pony. It was tradition, after all. Pony got up and stormed out of the room, forgetting in his haste, the paper that he didn't want anyone to read.

"So what did you do, Two-Bit, to earn the wrath of my little brother?" Soda asked, his brown eyes dancing with delight yet a cloud of concern masking them.

"Tried to read a paper from two years ago," Two-Bit said, gasping for air. That fight took a lot out of the 18 year old, and he wasn't proud of it at all.

"Pony's usually less violent when you try to read his stuff." Darry said with a smirk. "Let's read it, Pon will come out when he's cooled off."

Picking up the notebook, Darry flipped to the front and began to read.

TBC

A/N: I know, short chapter. Don't kill me, but I had to start this story. I can't find any of the whole 'the characters read' fics on the site so I decided to write my own. REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

Chap. One

A/N: I do not own the Outsiders

"Okay. Chapter one." Darry began. "Wait, before I begin, who needs to go to the restroom?"

Steve got up and almost ran to the bathroom, while the rest of the gang tried hard to muffle their laughter. When Steve returned, Darry picked up the book and resumed to read.

"**When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home. I was wishing I looked like Paul Newman- he looks tough and I don't—"**

Snorts were heard from every member of the gang.

"Apparently, our little brother is vainer than we thought," Soda said. Darry nodded and began to read again.

"**- But I guess my own looks aren't so bad. I have light-brown, almost red hair and greenish gray eyes. I wish they were more gray than green because I hate most guys that have green eyes,"**

"Why is that, I mean why does it matter to the kid?" Steve asked.

"I really don't know, now let the man read!" Two- Bit, who was enjoying the book a lot, was quickly growing tired of the many interruptions.

"**But I have to be content with what I have. My hair is longer than a lot of boys wear theirs, squared off in back and long at the front and sides, but I am a greaser and most of my neighborhood rarely bothers to get a haircut. Besides, I look better with long hair."**

More snorts were heard, as they all remembered what Pony looked like after his weeklong disappearance. _(A/N: I thought he looked hot!)_

"**I had a long walk home and no company, but I usually lone it anyway, for no reason except I like to watch movies undisturbed so I can get into them and live them with the actors. When I see a movie with someone it's kind of uncomfortable, like having someone read your book over your shoulder. I'm different that way. I mean, my second oldest brother Soda, who is sixteen going on seventeen, never cracks open a book at all, and my oldest brother Darrel, who we call Darry, works too long and hard to be interested in a story or drawing a picture, so I'm not like them."**

"At last, I get to find out what goes through that head of his," Darry almost shouted with glee. But then the last sentence sunk in. "Hey, what does he mean by 'works too long and hard to be interested in a story or drawing a picture'?"

"Exactly that, Dar." Soda responded. "Relax, will ya?"

"**And nobody in our gang digs movies and books the way I do. For a while there, I thought I was the only person in the world that did. So I loned it. Soda tries to understand, at least, which is more that Darry does."**

"Hey, it's not that I don't try to understand, it's just I can't understand what goes through the kids head"

"**But then, Soda is different from anybody; he understands everything, almost. Like he's never hollering at me all the time the way Darry is, or treating me as if I was six instead of fourteen. I love Soda more than I've ever loved anyone, even Mom and Dad. He's always happy go lucky and grinning, while Darry's hard and firm and rarely ever grins at all. But then, Darry's gone through a lot in his twenty years, grown up too fast. Sodapop'll never grow up at all. I don't know which ways the best. I'll find out one of these days."**

"Do I holler at him a lot?"

"Yeah, Dar. You do."

Soda, ignoring the exchange going on between his older brother and Two-Bit, said "I wonder if he still feels that way, you know, about me."

"Soda, you know Pony will always love you."

"**Anyway, I went on walking home, thinking about the movie, and then suddenly wishing I had some company. Greasers can't walk alone too much or they'll get jumped, or someone will come by and scream "Greaser!" at them, which doesn't make you feel too hot, if you know what I mean. We get jumped by the Socs. I'm not sure how you spell it, but it's the abbreviation for the Socials, the jet set, the West-side rich kids. It's like the term "greaser", which is used to class all us boys on the East Side. We're poorer than the Socs and the middle class. I reckon we're wilder, too. Not like the Socs, who jump greasers and wreck houses and throw beer blasts for kicks, and get editorials in the paper for being a public disgrace one day and an asset to society the next. Greasers are almost like hoods; we steal things and drive old souped-up cars and hold up gas stations and have a gang fight once in a while. I don't mean I do things like that. Darry would kill me if I got into trouble with the police."**

"How does this kid know these things? I didn't even know about the part about the editorials!" Darry said with a hint of surprise. Soda kept looking at the door to the room that he shared with Pony, wondering when he would cool off.

"**Since Mom and Dad were killed in an auto wreck, the three of us get to stay together only as long as we behave. So Soda and I stay out of trouble as much as we can and we're careful not to get caught when we can't. I only mean that most greasers do things like that, just like we wear our hair long and dress in blue jeans and T-shirts, or leave our shirttails out and wear leather jackets and tennis shoes or boots. I'm not saying that either Socs or greasers are better; that's just the way things are. I could have waited to go to the movies until Darry or Sodapop got off work. They would have gone with me, or driven me there, or walked along, although Soda just can't sit still long enough to enjoy a movie, and they bore Darry to death. Darry thinks his life is enough without inspecting other people's."**

"Doesn't change the fact that I'd have gone with him" both Curtis brothers said at the exact same time. They looked at each other in shock.

"Spooky."

"**Or I could have gotten one of the gang to come along, one of the four boys Darry and Soda and I have grown up with and consider family. We're almost as close as brothers; when you grow up in a tight-knit neighborhood like ours you get to know each other real well. If I had thought about it, I could have called Darry and he would have come by on his way home and picked me up, or Two-Bit Mathews—one of our gang—would have come to get me in his car if I had asked him, but sometimes I just don't use my head. It drives my brother Darry nuts when I do stuff like that, 'cause I'm supposed to be smart, I make good grades and have a high IQ and everything, but I don't use my head. Besides I like walking."**

"He likes walking?" Two-Bit said, incredulously.

"At least he acknowledges that he doesn't use his head." Darry said shaking his head. He was beginning to regret his decision of reading Pony's paper.

"**I about decided I didn't like it so much, though, when I spotted that red Corvair trailing me. I was almost two blocks from home then, so I started walking a little faster. I had never been jumped, but I had seen Johnny after four Socs got hold of him, and it wasn't pretty. Johnny was scared of his own shadow after that. Johnny was sixteen then."**

At once the gang lowered their heads in remembrance of a young boy who was able to escape the life of a greaser, just not the way they all thought he would.

"**I knew it wasn't any use though—the fast walking I mean—even before the Corvair pulled up beside me and five Socs got out. I got pretty scared—I'm kind of small for fourteen even though I have a good build, and those guys were bigger than me. I automatically hitched my thumbs in my jeans and slouched, wondering if I could get away if I mad a break for it."**

"He should have, he's plenty fast enough." Soda said, raising the spirits in the room. Despite what they had told Pony about getting over the death of Johnny and Dally, they all still felt the cruel sting whenever their names were mentioned.

"**I remembered Johnny—his face all cut up and bruised, and I remembered how he had cried when we found him, half-conscious, in the corner lot. Johnny had it awful rough at home—it took a lot to make him cry. I was sweating something fierce, although I was cold. I could feel my palms getting clammy and the perspiration running down my back. I get like that when I'm real scared. I glanced around for a pop bottle or a stick or something—Steve Randle, Soda's best buddy, had once held off four guys with a busted pop bottle—but there was nothing."**

"He bought that story!" Steve said, bursting out in laughter.

"So the kid does get scared, interesting." Two-Bit said, as if in thought. Well, that lasted until Steve hit him over the head with his hand in his laughing fit. The reading had to take a pause as Darry had to separate the two 'adults' from the small wrestling match they were having.

"**So I stood there like a bump on a log while they surrounded me. I don't use my head. They walked around slowly, silently, smiling. "Hey, grease," one said in an over-friendly voice. "We're gonna do you a favor, greaser. We're gonna cut all that long greasy hair off." He had on a madras shirt. I can still see it. One of them laughed, and cussed me out in a low voice."**

"Tell me their names, damn it!" Soda swore, and Darry nodded. Just because they had whooped their asses in that rumble didn't change the fact that they were threatening a Curtis. Bad move.

**I couldn't think of anything to say. There just isn't a whole lot you can say while waiting to get mugged, so I kept my mouth shut. "Need a haircut, greaser?" the medium-sized blond pulled a knife out of his back pocket and flipped the blade out. I finally thought of something to say. "No."**

"Need to remember that one. Kid's smart ass tendencies are great to listen to." Steve said, unaware that he'd inadvertently complemented Pony.

"**I was backing up, away from that knife. Of course I backed right into one of them. They had me down in a second. They had my arms and legs pinned down and one of them was sitting on my chest with his knees on my elbows, and if you think that don't hurt, you're crazy. I could smell English Leather shaving lotion and stale tobacco, and I wondered foolishly if I would suffocate before they did anything. I was scared so bad I was wishing I would."**

"Names, I need their names." Soda said, hopping mad. It was one thing to jump a greaser; it was another to make one so scared that they wanted to die. Also, it was his little brother, so he would make those Socs rue the day they decided to jump Pony.

"**I fought to get loose, and almost did for a second; then they tightened up on me and the one on my chest slugged me a couple of times. So I lay still, swearing at them between gasps. A blade was held against my through. "How'd you like that haircut to begin just below the chin?""**

"After we're through here, why don't we go to Tim's? He knows all Socs names by heart." Darry said, gritting his teeth. He loved Pony, just as much as Soda. So to see him in an vulnerable situation like that made him very pissed. Those Socs would rue the day they messed with his brother.

"**It occurred to me then that they could kill me. I went wild. I started screaming for Soda, Darry , anyone. Someone put his hand over my mouth, and I bit it as hard as I could, tasting the blood running through my teeth. I heard a muttered curse and got slugged again, and they were stuffing a handkerchief in my mouth. One of them kept saying "Shut him up, for Pete's sake, shut him up!""**

"Keep shouting Pony, we're coming." Two-Bit said, ignoring the looks of concern that the other members of the gang were giving him.

"**Then there were shouts and the pounding of feet, and the Socs jumped up and left me lying there, gasping. I lay there and wondered what in the world was happening—people were jumping over me and running by me and I was too dazed to figure it out."**

"I remember seeing him just lying there, and was so afraid they'd hurt him badly. Wanted to rip their heads off, still do as a matter of fact." Soda said, mentally writing down the physical descriptions of each of the Socs.

"**Then someone had me under the armpits and was hauling me to my feet. It was Darry. "Are you all right, Ponyboy?" He was shaking me and I wished he'd stop. I was dizzy enough anyway. I could tell it was Darry though—partly because of the voice and partly because Darry's always rough with me without meaning to be."**

"Am I really?"

"Yay Darry's here. Superman will save the day."

"Shut up Two-Bit."

""**I'm okay. Quit shaking me Darry. I'm okay." He stopped instantly. "I'm sorry." He wasn't really. Darry isn't ever sorry for anything he does. It seems funny that he should look just exactly like my father and act exactly the opposite from him."**

"I don't know if I've been complemented or insulted." Darry said, attempting to disguise the sadness in his voice with humor. It hadn't worked; Soda still noticed it.

"**My father was only forty when he died and he looked twenty-five and a lot of people thought Darry and Dad were brothers instead of father and son. But they only looked alike—my father was never rough with anyone without meaning to be."**

"Maybe it's Pony's imagination taking off with him again? Remember Dar, this was _two_ years ago." Soda said, trying to raise his elder brother's spirits.

"**Darry is six-feet-two, and broad-shouldered and muscular. He has dark-brown hair that kicks out it the front and a slight cowlick in the back—just like Dad's—but Darry's eyes are his own. He's got eyes that are like two pieces of pale blue-green ice."**

"What are you idiots doing?" Darry almost yelled, when he realized how close the gang was to his face.

"Just seeing if Pony's description did you justice Superman."

"**They've got a determined set to them just like the rest of him. He looks older than twenty—tough, cool and smart. He would be real handsome if his eyes weren't so cold. He doesn't understand anything that is not plain hard fact. But he uses his head."**

"Not all the time," Darry muttered, remembering the rumble two years ago, and how he should have prevented Pony from fighting.

"**I sat down again, rubbing my cheek where I'd been slugged the most. Darry jammed his fists into his pockets. "They didn't hurt you too bad, did they?" They did. I was smarting and aching and my chest was sore and I was so nervous my hands were shaking and I wanted to start bawling, but you just don't say that to Darry."**

"Of course you say that to Darry, who else would you tell it to?" Steve and Soda almost yelled at the book, seeing as Darry was too depressed by the way his youngest brother used to think about him.

""**I'm okay." Sodapop came loping back. By then I had figured that all the noise I had heard was the gang coming to rescue me. He dropped down beside me, examining my head."**

"No, it was the local herd of elephants," Two-Bit said, the sarcasm audible. From behind the door, Soda sword he heard a chuckle.

""**You got cut up a little, huh, Ponyboy?" I only looked at him blankly. "I did?" He pulled out a handkerchief, wet the end of it with his tongue and pressed it gently against the side of my head. "You're bleeding like a stuck pig." "I am?" "Look!" he showed me the handkerchief, reddened as if by magic. "Did they pull a blade on you?" I remembered the voice: "Need a haircut, greaser?" The blade must have slipped while he was trying to shut me up. "Yeah.""**

"Heh, Pony's slow after getting jumped. It's kind of funny." Soda snorted. Hey now that the danger was passed, and he knew that his kid brother was okay, he could relax.

"**Soda is handsomer than anyone else I know. Not like Darry—Soda's movie-star kind of handsome, the kind that people stop on the street to watch go by. He's not as tall as Darry, and he's a little slimmer, but he has a finely drawn, sensitive face that somehow manages to reckless and thoughtful at the same time. He's got dark-gold hair that he combs back—long and silky and straight—and in the summer the sun bleaches it to a shining wheat-gold. His eyes are dark brown—lively, dancing, recklessly laughing eyes that can be gentle and sympathetic one moment and blazing with anger the next. He has Dad's eyes, but Soda's one of a kind. He can get drunk in a drag race or dancing without ever getting near alcohol. In our neighborhood, it's rare to find a kid who doesn't drink once in awhile. But Soda never touches a drop—he doesn't need to. He gets drunk on plain living. And he understands everybody."**

"Anyone else think Pony's stalking Soda?" Two-Bit asked, and was met with three pillows thrown at him.

"He's my brother, you idiot."

"**He looked at me more closely. I looked away hurriedly, because, if you want to know the truth, I was starting to bawl. I knew I was a white as I felt and I was shaking like a leaf. Soda just put his hand on my shoulder. "Easy Ponyboy. They ain't gonna hurt you no more." "I know," I said, but the ground started to blur and I felt hot tears running down my cheeks. I brushed them away impatiently. "I'm just a little spooked, that's all." I drew in a quivering breath and quit crying. You just don't cry in front of Darry. Not unless you're hurt like Johnny had been the day we found him in the vacant lot. Compared to Johnny, I wasn't hurt at all."**

"Who was the idiot who convinced him it wasn't okay for him to cry in front of me?" Darry asked, half angry that Pony still might have it in his head that it wasn't okay to cry in front of him, and half depressed that his youngest brother thought so low about him.

"That might have been Dally." Steve mumbled, just audible enough to make the mood go into a downswing.

"Let's continue on with the book. I wonder if Pony wants to be an author, he's held my attention for the past five minutes, and that's saying something." Two-Bit said quickly.

"**Soda rubbed my hair. "You're an okay kid, Pony." I had to grin at him—Soda can make you grin no matter what. I guess it's because he's always grinning so much himself. "You're crazy, Soda, out of your mind." Darry looked as if he'd like to knock our heads together."**

"Like he does now," said Ponyboy from the doorway to his room. They all looked at him in shock and awe. Soda patted the seat next to him, but Pony shook his head and said "No way, Soda. I'm the only one who knows the whole thing, and there are some pretty wild tales in there. I want to get through this without suffocation." So he pulled up a chair and sat as close to the group as he could, but far enough away as to make a fast getaway.

""**You're both nuts." Soda merely cocked one eyebrow, a trick he'd picked up from Two-Bit. "It seems to run in this family." Darry stared at him for a second, then cracked a grin. Soda isn't afraid of him like everyone else, and enjoys teasing him. I'd just as soon tease a full-grown grizzly; but for some reason, Darry seems to like being teased by Soda."**

A pause broke out in the room, and then all the greasers broke out into galls of laughter.

"**Our gang had chased the Socs to their car and heaved rocks at them. They came running toward us now—four lean hard guys. They were all tough as nails and looked it. I had grown up with them, and they accepted me, even though I was younger, because I was Darry and Soda's kid brother and I kept my mouth shut good."**

"No, it's because you come in handy in a fight." Two-Bit said. Pony just nodded, knowing lingering on any subject in this chapter (or any chapter for that matter) would just cause him to run back into his room.

"**Steve Randle was seventeen, tall and lean, with thick greasy hair he kept combed in complicated swirls. He was cocky, smart and Soda's best buddy since grade school. Steve's specialty was cars. He could lift a hubcap quicker and more quietly than anyone in the neighborhood, but he also knew cars upside-down and backward, and he could drive anything on wheels. He and Soda worked at the same gas station—Steve part time and Soda full time—and their station got more customers than any other. Whether that was because Steve was so good with cars or because Soda attracted girls like honey draws flies, I couldn't tell you."**

"Am I the only one who wonders how he notices these things?" Soda asked, completely serious for the first time in his life. Pony just glared at him, and as he was now two years older than the last time he'd tried, it worked in scaring the comments out of Two-Bit. Steve looked over Darry's shoulder and paled. He managed to make eye contact with Pony and gestured over to Soda. They both nodded and snuck out of the room, Pony out back to grab a smoke and Steve in the bathroom with the door locked.

"**I liked Steve only because he was Soda's best friend. He didn't like me—he thought I was a tagalong and a kid; Soda always took me with them when they went places if they weren't taking the girls, and that bugged Steve. It wasn't my fault; Soda always asked me, I didn't ask him. Soda doesn't think I'm a kid."**

"What- I mean- huh?" Soda said, looking defeated. Darry looked shocked (that Soda didn't know, I mean even he knew that Pony and Steve hated each other's guts.) and Two-Bit was looking around for the two missing greasers.

"Hey, what happened to Steve and Pony?"

The rest of the gang (AKA Darry and Soda) looked around and saw that the two greasers were not in the room. The reading had to be paused for a few seconds to hunt down the elusive team, but they were found and order was restored.

"**Two-Bit Matthews was the oldest of the gang and the wisecracker of the bunch. He was about six feet tall, stocky in build, and very proud of long rusty-colored sideburns. He had grey eyes and a wide grin, and he couldn't stop making funny remarks to save his life. You couldn't shut up that guy; he always had to get his two-bits worth in. Hence his name. Even his teachers forgot his real name was Keith, and we hardly remembered he had one. Life was one big joke for Two-Bit. He was famous for shoplifting and his black=handled switchblade (which he couldn't have acquired without his first talent) and he was always smarting off to the cops. He really couldn't help it. Everything he said was just irresistibly funny that he had to let the police in on it to brighten up their dull lives. (That's the way he explained it to me.) He liked fights, blonds, and for some unfathomable reason, school. He was still a junior at 18 and a half and he never learned anything. He just went for kicks. I liked him real well because he kept us laughing at ourselves as well as at other things. He reminded me of Will Rogers—maybe it was the grin."**

"Yay, It's me!"

No one had to even look to find out who was the idiot who said that.

"**If I had to pick the real character of the gang, it would be Dallas Winston—Dally. I used to like to draw him when he was in a dangerous mood, for then I could get his personality down in a few lines. He had an elfish face, with high cheekbones and a pointed chin, small sharp animal teeth and ears like a lynx. His hair was almost white it was so blond, and he didn't like haircuts or hair oil either, so it just fell over his forehead in wisps and kicked out in the back in tuffs and curled behind his ears and around the nape of his neck. His eyes were blue,, blazing ice, cold with a hatred of the whole world. Dally had spent three years on the wild side of New York and had been arrested at the age of ten. He was tougher than the rest of us—tougher, colder, meaner. The shade of difference that separates a greaser from a hood wasn't present in Dally. He was as wild as the boys in the downtown outfits, like Tim Sheppard's gang. In New York, Dally blew off steam in gang fights, but here, organized gangs are rarities—there are just small bunches of friends who stick together and the warfare is between the social classes. A rumble, when it's called, is usually born of a grudge fight, and the opponents just happen to bring their friends along. Oh, there are a few named gangs around, like the River Kings and the Tiber Street Tigers, but here in the Southwest there's no gang rivalry. So Dally, even though he could get into a good fight sometimes, had no specific thing to hate. No rival gang. Only Socs. And you can't win against them no matter how hard you try, because they've got all the breaks and even whipping them isn't going to change that fact. Maybe that was why Dallas was so bitter. He had quite a reputation. They have a file on him down at the police station. He had peen arrested, he got drunk, he rode in rodeos, lied, cheated, stole, rolled drunks, jumped small kids—he did everything. I didn't like him, but he was smart and you had to respect him."**

Darry took a pause as the group got used to the mention of Dally. Soda looked at Pony, who was sitting right between Steve and Two-Bit (hey, they were the only two who weren't insane or would hug him to death in Pony's eyes) and asked, "Do you still have that drawing?"

"Yeah, after this chapter I'll go and get it."

"**Johnny Cade was last and least. If you can't picture a little dark puppy that has been kicked too many times and is lost in a crowd of strangers, you'll have Johnny. He was the youngest, next to me, smaller than the rest, with a slight build. He had big black eyes in a dark tanned face; his hair was jet-black and heavily greased and combed to the side, but it was so long that it fell to in shaggy bangs across his forehead. He had a nervous, suspicious look in his eyes, and that beating he got from the Socs didn't help matters. He was the gang's pet, everyone's kid brother. His father was always beating him up, and his mother ignored him, except when she was hacked off at something, and then you could hear her yelling at him clear down at our house. I think he hated that worse than getting whipped. He would have run away a million times if we hadn't been there. If it hadn't been for the gang, Johnny would never have known what love and affection are."**

Another pause was taken out of respect for the dead boy they had all grown to love as a full member of the gang.

"**I wiped my eyes hurriedly. "Didya catch 'em?" "Nup. They got away this time, the dirty…" Two-Bit went on cheerfully, calling the Socs every name he could think or make up. "The kid's okay?" "I'm okay." I tried to think of something to say. I'm usually pretty quiet around people, even the gang. I changed the subject. "I didn't know that you were out of the cooler yet. Dally." "Good behavior. Got off early.""**

"Since when would Dally ever get off on good behavior?" Steve asked. It was getting easier now to talk about them as they were constantly getting mentioned in Pony's paper.

"**Dallas lit a cigarette and handed it to Johnny. Everyone sat down to have a smoke and relax. A smoke always lessens the tension. I had quit trembling and my color was back. The cigarette was calming me down. Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow. "Nice-lookin' bruise you got there, kid." I touched my cheek gingerly. "Really?" Two-Bit nodded sagely. "Nice cut too. Makes you look tough." **_**Tough **_**and **_**tuff**_** are two different words. **_**Tough **_**is the same as rough; **_**tuff**_** means cool, sharp—like a tuff-looking Mustang or a tuff record. In our neighborhood both are compliments."**

"Two-Bit, you are an idiot!" four voices cried out.

"Thank you, I try."

"**Steve flicked his ashes at me. "What were you doin', walkin' by your lonesome?" Leave it to good old Steve to bring up something like that. "I was walking home from the movies. I didn't think…" "You don't ever think," Darry broke in, "not at home or anywhere when it counts. You must think at school, with all those good grades you bring home, and you've always got your nose in a book, but do you ever use you head for common sense? No sirree, bub. And if you did have to go by yourself, you should have carried a blade.""**

"Sorry about that, Pony." Darry said, grinning sheepishly. He had remembered when their dad had scolded him right in front of the gang and it felt so embarrassing. To be scolded by your brother would have to be 10 times worse.

"**I just stared at the hole in the toe of my tennis shoe. Me and Darry just didn't dig each other. I never could please him. He would have hollered at me for carrying a blade if I **_**had**_** carried one. If I brought home B's, he wanted A's, and if I got A's, he wanted to make sure they stayed A's. If I was playing football, I should be in studying, and if I was reading, I should be out playing football. He never hollered at Sodapop—not even when Soda dropped out of school or got tickets for speeding. He just hollered at me."**

"Bet that was confusing, huh?" Darry said, a bit saddened at how he never noticed how their relationship (which had been just as strong as the one between him and Soda) had deteriorated.

"Just a little." Pony said, grinning from ear to ear. It was getting a little tiring to listen to Darry apologize for stuff that happened over two years ago.

"**Soda was glaring at him. "Leave my kid brother alone, you hear? It ain't his fault he likes to go to the movies and it ain't his fault the Socs like to jump us, and if he had been carrying a blade it would have been a good excuse to cut him to ribbons." Soda always takes up for me."**

"Of course I take up for you, you're my kid brother." Soda said. He had felt hurt and a little betrayed that Pony was sitting by Steve, but he quickly got over it as the book continued.

"**Darry said impatiently, "When I want my kid brother to tell me what to do with my other kid brother, I'll ask you – kid brother.""**

"Nice one Dar."

"Superman strikes again."

"Will you idiots shut up, and let me finish the chapter!"

"**But he laid off me. He always does when Sodapop tells him to. Most of the time. "Next time get one of us to go with you Ponyboy." Two-Bit said. "Any of us will.""**

"The question being, would you sit through all of it?" Pony said with such a innocent look that no one knew if he was teasing Two-Bit or not.

""**Speaking of movies"—Dally yawned, flipping away his cigarette butt—"I'm walkin' over to the Nightly Double tomorrow night. Anybody want to come and hunt some action?" Steve shook his head. "Me and Soda are pickin' up Evie and Sandy for the game." He didn't need to look at me the way he did right then. I wasn't going to ask if I could come. I'd never tell Soda, because he really likes Steve a lot, but sometimes I can't stand Steve Randle. I mean it. Sometimes I hate him."**

"Do you still feel that way about each other?" Soda had to ask. He wasn't going to sit by as his little brother and best friend went around hating each other. They should leave that for the Socs.

"Nah. I've learned to tolerate old shrimpy over here." Steve said, grabbing Pony and putting him in a headlock.

"And I've learned not to sit next to this bozo again. Take a bath or something Steve, you reek." Pony said, slapping Steve on the back of the head to force him to let go, so he could fix his hair. "Yeah, Soda. I can tolerate Steve," he replied when Soda gave him a disappointed look (which looked as if he was constipated.)

"**Darry sighed, just like I knew he would. Darry never had time to do anything anymore. "I'm working tomorrow night." Dally looked at the rest of us. "How about y'all? Two-Bit? Johnnycake, you and Pony wanta come?" "Me and Johnny'll come," I said. I knew Johnny wouldn't open his mouth unless he was forced to. "Okay, Darry?" "Yeah, since it ain't a school night." Darry was real good about letting me go places on the weekends. On school nights I could hardly leave the house. "I was plannin' on getting boozed up tomorrow night," Two-Bit said. "If I don't, I'll walk over and find y'all.""**

"Two-Bit, have you ever gone a day without drinking?" Darry said in exasperation.

"**Steve was looking at Dally's hand. His ring, which he had rolled a drunk senior to get, was back on his finger. "You break up with Sylvia again?" "Yeah, and this time it's for good. That little broad was two-timin' me again while I was in jail." I thought of Sylvia and Evie and Sandy and Two-Bit's many blondes. They were the only kind of girls that would look at us, I thought. Tough, loud girls who wore too much eye makeup and giggled and swore too much. I liked Soda's girl Sandy just fine, though. Her hair was natural blond and her laugh was soft, like her china-blue eyes. She didn't have a real good home or anything and was our kind – greaser—but she was a real nice girl."**

"She was nice, nice enough to cheat on me," Soda growled out. Even after two years, he never really got over that fact. He loved her.

"**Still lots of times I wondered what other girls were like. The girls who were bright-eyed and had their dresses a decent length and acted as if they'd like to spit on us if given the chance. Some were afraid of us, and remembering Dallas Winston, I didn't blame them. But most looked at us like we were dirt—gave us the same kind of look that the Socs did when they came by in their Mustangs and Corvairs and yelled "Grease!" at us. I wondered about them."**

"Pony, maybe you need to see someone. I mean, if you're thinking about Socs…"

"Shut up, Two-Bit. Just let Darry read." Pony said, fighting the urge to turn as red as a tomato.

"**The girls, I mean… Did they cry when their boys were arrested, like Evie did when Steve got hauled in, or did they run out on them the way Sylvia did Dallas? But maybe their boys didn't get arrested or beaten up or busted up in rodeos."**

"How is it I'm still amazed at how much the kid notices?" Steve murmured in Two-Bit's ear. For a kid who didn't use his head, Pony could notice a bunch of stuff.

"**I was still thinking about it while I was doing my homework that night. I had to read Great Expectations for English, and that kid Pip, he reminded me of us—the way he felt marked lousy because he wasn't a gentleman or anything and the way that girl kept looking down on him."**

"Only Pony could relate his life to a character in a book." Soda said, laughing his head off.

Darry shook his head. "You know how lucky you are that wasn't a school night? I bet none of that sunk in."

"Actually, I remembered everything. Enough to get an A- on the quiz I had to make up when I got back."

"**That happened to me once. One time in biology I had to dissect a worm and the razor wouldn't cut, so I used my switchblade. The minute I flicked it out—I forgot what I was doing or I would never have done it—this girl right beside me kind of gasped and said "They are right. You are a hood." That didn't make me feel so hot. There were a lot of Socs in that class—I get put into A classes because I'm supposed to be smart—and most of them thought it was pretty funny. I didn't though. She was a cute girl. She looked real good in yellow."**

"How the hell did you get your blade in school?" Steve said in shock. "The staff searches me everyday!"

"I don't go around and threaten Socs with my blade, Steve"

"So, Pony," Soda said, smirking. "This girl looked real good in yellow, did she?"

"So much for not having an interest in girls!" Two-Bit almost fell onto the floor, he was laughing so hard.

Only Darry noticed how Pony's glare seemed to grow with each passing moment ( not to mention his blush) and so he resumed reading.

"**We deserve a lot of our trouble, I thought. Dallas deserves everything he gets, and should get worse, if you want the truth. And Two-Bit—he doesn't really want or need half the things he swipes from stores. He just thinks it's fun to swipe everything that isn't nailed down. I can understand why Sodapop and Steve get into drag races and fights so much, though—both of them have too much energy, too much feeling, with no way to blow it off."**

"Kid, what is it I'm always telling you?" Two-Bit said, trying to look like he was an intelligent human being whose brain wasn't completely mashed by alcohol.

"I'm an idiot, Ponyboy?" Pony said, in a voice that sounded just like Two-Bit's it was scary. Darry had to hold in his laughter, but when he saw Soda crack up, he just let out a big laugh.

"I'm glad I can be amusing!"

The laughter went on for a few minutes until Darry could calm down and scare the others into at least acting like mature teens and adults.

""**Rub harder, Soda," I heard Darry mumbling. "You're gonna put me to sleep." I looked through the door. Sodapop was giving Darry a back-rub. Darry is always pulling muscles; he roofs houses and he's always trying to carry two bundles of roofing up the ladder. I knew Soda would put him to sleep, because Soda can put about anyone out when he sets his head to it. He thought Darry worked too hard anyway. I did, too."**

"Thanks, little man." Darry leaned over and whispered in Pony's ear.

"**Darry didn't deserve to work like an old man when he was only twenty. He had been a real popular guy in school; he was captain of the football team and he had been voted Boy of the Year. But we just didn't have the money for him to go to college, even with the athletic scholarship he won. And now he didn't have time between jobs to even think about college. So he never went anywhere and never did anything anymore, except work out at gyms and go skiing with some old friends of his sometimes."**

Darry was shocked. He had begun to think that his youngest brother hated him. Now, it seemed that he could empathize with him or something.

"**I rubbed my cheek where it had turned purple. I had looked in the mirror, and it did make me look tough. But Darry had made me put a Band-Aid on the cut. I remembered how awful Johnny had looked when he got beaten up. I had just as much right to use the streets as the Socs did and Johnny had never hurt them. Why did the Socs hate us so much? We left them alone. I nearly went to sleep over my homework trying to figure it out."**

"Pony, if you keep asking hard questions like that, you'll get a permanent headache." Soda said, grinning from ear to ear. He'd always wondered what his little brother had been thinking about that night.

"**Sodapop, who had jumped into bed by this time, yelled sleepily for me to turn off the light and get to bed. When I finished the chapter I was on, I did. Lying beside Soda, staring at the wall, I kept remembering the faces of the Socs as they surrounded me, that blue madras shirt the blond was wearing, and I could still hear a thick voice: "Need a haircut, greaser?" I shivered. "You cold, Ponyboy?" "A little," I lied."**

"Why is it that I go from Soda to Sodapop?"

"I have no idea, this was written two years ago."

Darry shook his head at his brothers' banter. It seemed some things never changed, even after two years.

"**Soda threw one arm over my neck. He mumbled something drowsily. "Listen, kiddo, when Darry hollers at you… he don't mean nothin'. He's just got more worries than somebody his age ought to. Don't take him serious… you dig Pony? Don't let him bug you. He's really proud of you 'cause you're so brainy. It's just because you're the baby—I mean, he loves you a lot. Savvy?" "Sure," I said, trying for Soda's sake to keep the sarcasm out of my voice."**

"You did realize that I've known you for the past fourteen years of your life? I can tell when you're trying to be sarcastic or trying to hold it back."

Pony groaned.

"By the way, Soda." Darry said, smirking. "You suck at pep talks."

""**Soda?" "Yeah?" "How come you dropped out?" I never have gotten over that. I could hardly stand it when he left school. "Cause I'm dumb. The only things I was passing anyways were auto mechanics and gym.""**

"You're not dumb, Soda." Darry and Pony said at the exact same time. They looked at each other in shock.

"We need to stop doing that." Two-Bit said. "First Darry and Soda, now Darry and Pony, it's getting creepy."

""**You're not dumb." "Yeah, I am. Shut up and I'll tell you something. Don't tell Darry, though." "Okay." "I think I'm going to marry Sandy. After she gets out of school and I get a better job and everything. I might wait till you get out of school, though. So I can still help Darry with the bill and stuff." "Tuff enough. Wait till I get out, though, so you can keep Darry off my back." "Don't be like that, kid. I told you he don't mean half of what he says…""**

"Again, Soda," Darry said, smirking. "Don't give a lecture when you're half asleep."

""**You in love with Sandy? What's it like?" "Hhhmmm." He sighed happily. "It's real nice." In a moment his breathing was light and regular. I turned my head to look at him and in the moonlight he looked like some Greek god come to earth. I wondered how he could stand being so handsome."**

"It is hard, but I try."

"Oh, shut up Greek god." Steve said and threw a pillow at Soda, who had puffed his chest out in mock superiority.

"**Then I sighed. I didn't quite get what he meant about Darry. Darry thought I was just another mouth to feed and somebody to holler at. Darry love me? I thought of those hard, pale eyes. Soda was wrong for once, I thought. Darry doesn't love anyone or anything, except maybe Soda. I didn't hardly think of him as being human. I don't care, I lied to myself, I don't care about him either. Soda's enough, and I'd have him until I got out of school. I don't care about Darry. But I was still lying and I knew it. I lie to myself all the time. But I never believe me. "**

"That's the end of the chapter." Darry said, and put the book down. "Who wants to read next?"

Steve said, "I'll read next, I've got a feeling I won't be in this chapter."

TBC

A/N: Yay, it's finally done. Chapter one. Please don't kill me, and please PM me with comment ideas, if you know some areas in chapter two that the characters would comment. By the way, I got Two-Bit's age wrong in the first chapter. He would be 20, not 18.


	3. Chapter 3

Chap. Three

A/n: I do not own the Outsiders

"Okay," Steve said, picking up the book. "Chapter Two."

"**Dally was waiting for Johnny and me under the street light at the corner of Pickett and Sutton, and since we got there early, we had time to go over to the drug store in the shopping center and goof around. We bought Cokes and blew the straws at the waitresses and walked around eyeing things that were lying out in the open until the manager got wise to us and suggested we leave. He was too late, though; Dally walked out with two packages of Kools under his jacket."**

"Who do you think taught me how to shoplift?" Two-Bit said, and was met with more pillows.

"Where do you guys keep getting all of these pillows?"

"The sofa," Pony said with a smirk

"**Then we went across the street and down Sutton a little way to the Dingo. There are lots of drive-in's in town—the Socs go to The Way Out and to Rusty's, and the greasers go The Dingo and to Jay's. The Dingo is a pretty rough hangout; there's always a fight going on there and once a girl got shot. We walked around talking to all the greasers and hoods we knew, leaning in car windows or hopping into the back seats, and getting in on who was running away and who was in jail and who was going out with who, and who could whip who, and who stole what and when and why. We knew about everybody there."**

"That's impressive, kid." Steve interrupted himself. "I only know about 50% of the Dingo's patrons."

"I'm impressed that you know such a big word, Stevie boy." Pony replied. The reading was paused as Darry and Soda had to separate the two greasers who were wrestling.

"**There was a pretty good fight while we were there between a big twenty three year old greaser and a Mexican hitchhiker. We left when the switchblades came out, because the cops would be coming soon and nobody in his right mind wants to be around when the fuzz show."**

"Dally actually decided not to add to his record?" Soda said, astonished.

"It's a sign of the apocalypse!" Two-Bit shouted.

"Shut up you two, and let Steve read," Darry called out, but a smile could be seen fighting its way on to his face.

"**We crossed Sutton and cut around behind Spencer's Special, the discount house, and chased two junior high kids across a field for a few minutes, by then it was dark enough to sneak in over the back fence of the Nightly Double drive in movie. It was the biggest in town, and showed two movies every night, and on weekends four—you could say you were going to the Nightly Double and have time to go all over town."**

"And you really did go all over town," Steve said.

"**We all had the money to get in—it only costs a quarter if you're not in a car—but Dally hated to do anything the legal way. He liked to show that he didn't care whether there was a law or not. He went around trying to break laws. We went to the rows of seats in front of the concession stand to sit down. Nobody else was there except for two girls who were sitting down front. Dally eyed them coolly, then walked down the aisle and sat right behind them. I had a sick feeling that Dally was up to his usual tricks, and I was right. He started talking loud enough for the two girls to hear. He started out bad and got worse. Dallas could talk awful dirty if he wanted to and I guess he wanted to then."**

"I remember Dallas's vocabulary. Remember threatening to wash his mouth out if he repeated any of it in front of Pony." Darry said, frowning. "Damnit! How do you do that to a dead guy?"

"I don't know, and Darry," Pony said, glaring at him. "I've heard worse from the Socs at school."

"**I felt my ears get hot. Two-Bit or Steve or even Soda would have gone right along with him, just to see if they could embarrass the girls, but that kind of kicks just doesn't appeal to me. I sat there, struck dumb, and Johnny left hastily to get a Coke. I wouldn't have felt so embarrassed if they had been greasy girls—I might have even helped old Dallas. But those two girls weren't our kind. They were tuff-looking girls—dressed sharp and really good looking. They looked about sixteen or seventeen. One had short dark hair, and the other had long red hair."**

"Pony, how are you a greaser if you get embarrassed over everything?"

This comment earned Two-Bit and Steve a pillow right in the face.

"Be careful Pony. Where there are Socy girls, their boyfriends aren't far behind." Darry said, and Soda remembered the events after this chapter. He looked at Darry and Pony, then looked at the two idiots that were his friends and then prayed that those two wouldn't bash Darry's head in for hitting Pony. Luckily for him, no one noticed anything.

"**The redhead was getting mad, or scared. She sat up straight and she was chewing hard on her gum. The other one pretended not to hear Dally. Dally was getting impatient. He put his feet up on the back of the redhead's chair, winked at me, and beat his own record for saying something dirty. She turned around and gave him a cool glare. "Take your feet off my chair and shut your trap." Boy she was good-looking. I'd seen her before; she was a cheerleader at our school. I'd always thought she was stuck up."**

"Man, that chick was cruising for a bruising. No one tells Dally what to do."

"Two-Bit, maybe we should focus on the more important issue."

"And what might that be, Soda?"

"Pony mentioned something about this redhead being good-looking?"

"OH SHUT UP AND LET THE MAN READ!" Pony shouted, his face as bright as a tomato and glaring at his brother and friend. He certainly was getting tired of the constant teasing.

"**Dally merely looked at her and kept his feet where they were. "Who's gonna make me?" The other one turned around and watched us. "That's the greaser that jockeys for the Slash J sometimes," she said, as if we couldn't hear her. I had heard the same tone before. "Greaser…greaser…greaser." Oh yeah, I had heard that tone before too many times."**

"I can't help but notice that it was only the redhead that was good looking. Pony's got a thing for redheads, Dar!"

Soda's last comment was heard over the mini-wrestling match he and Pony were having. Darry, with a grin on his face, marched over and broke it up.

"Thank you Darry." Steve said, and resumed reading.

"**What are they doing in a drive- in without a car? I thought, and Dallas said, "I know you two. I've seen you around the rodeos." "It's a shame you can't ride bull half as good as you can talk it," the redhead said coolly and turned back around. That didn't bother Dally in the least."**

"Did anything bother Dally?"

"Ohh, that girlfriend of Pony's has a smart mouth."

"Two-Bit, I mean it. One more word…"

"Good question Pon. I'm wondering the same thing," Darry said, glaring at the resident peanut gallery.

""**You two barrel race, huh?" "You'd better leave us alone," the redhead said in a biting voice, "or I'll call the cops." "Oh, my **_**my**_**"—Dally looked bored—"you've got me scared to death. You ought to see my record sometime baby." He grinned slyly. "Guess what I've been in for?" "**_**Please**_** leave us alone," she said. "Why don't you be nice and leave us alone?""**

"That threat never scares Dally."

"What has Dally been in for? I never knew."

"Any crime under the sun that's not murder or drugs."

"**Dally grinned roguishly. "I'm never nice. Want a Coke?" She was mad by then. "I wouldn't drink it if I was starving in the desert. Get lost, hood!" Dally merely shrugged and strolled off. The girl looked at me. I was half-scared of her. I'm half-scared of all nice girls, especially Socs. "Are you going to start in on us?" I shook my head, wide-eyed. "No." Suddenly she smiled."**

"How does one grin roguishly?"

"Pony, a girl scared you?" Two-Bit, again, was laughing so hard that he almost fell off of his seat.

"She argued with Dally, and won! Two-Bit, even you would have been afraid of her."

"She smiled at you? Pony, do you know what this means?" Soda interjected.

"That not all Socs are scum?"

"No, it's another sign of the apocalypse!"

Pony just rolled his eyes and motioned for Steve to continue to read.

"**Gosh she was pretty. "You don't look the type. What's your name?" I wished she hadn't asked me that. I hate to tell people my name for the first time."**

"Of course he doesn't look the type. He's Ponyboy Curtis." Two-Bit said, as if that explained everything. Darry and Soda, though, weren't paying attention to Two-Bit. They were looking at their little brother, as if he could explain everything. Pony on the other hand was thankful that his brothers hadn't started to tease him about Cherry again.

""**Ponyboy Curtis." Then I waited for the "You're kidding!" or "That's your **_**real**_** name?" or one of the other remarks I usually get. Ponyboy's my real name and personally I like it."**

"Wow, and here I always thought it was due to Soda's horse obsession that you were called Ponyboy."

"Shut it, Two-Bit."

"I've a brother named Sodapop, Two-Bit. What did you think my real name was?"

"Bob."

The reading was paused as Soda and Pony jumped onto Two-Bit and proceeded to wrestle with him. Darry took this time to go to the bathroom. When he came out, it was to his surprise that Tim Sheppard was standing in his living room.

"Tim, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Heard this is where all the cool cats are hanging out tonight. Plus, Buck's out of beer. Can I join you?"

"Sure."

"**The redhead just smiled. "That's an original and lovely name." "My dad was an original person." I said. "I've got a brother named Sodapop, and it says so on his birth certificate.""**

"Pony, you just agreed with yourself."

"Huh?" Tim, new to Two-Bit's stupidity, asked.

"Ignore him. If he gets out of line, we hit him with pillows. It's fun." Pony replied, and then whacked Two-Bit in the head with another pillow.

""**My name's Sherri, but I'm called Cherry because of my hair. Cherry Valance." "I know," I said. "You're a cheerleader. We go to the same school." "You don't look old enough to be going to high school," the dark haired girl said. "I'm not. I got put up a year in grade school." Cherry was looking at me. "What's a nice, smart kid like you running around with trash like that for?" I felt myself stiffen. "I'm a grease, same as Dally. He's my buddy.""**

"A Soc's actually complementing a greaser?" Tim asked.

"Shocking, isn't it?" Two-Bit agreed.

""**I'm sorry, Ponyboy," she said softly. Then she said briskly, "Your brother Sodapop, does he work at a gasoline station? A DX, I think?" "Yeah." "Man, your brother is one doll. I might have guessed you were brothers—you look alike." I grinned with pride—I don't think I look one bit like Soda, but it's not every day I hear Socs telling me they think my brother is a doll."**

"Oh no, here we go again!" Steve groaned, as Soda puffed his chest out in pride.

"Again, I must ask, huh?" Tim, who had missed the first chapter, asked.

"Don't ask, Tim. I don't get it either." Darry leaned over and whispered into Tim's ear.

""**Didn't he used to ride in rodeos? Saddle bronc?" "Yeah. Dad made him quit after he tore a ligament, though. We still hang around rodeos a lot. I've seen you two barrel race. You're good." "Thanks," Cherry said, and the other girl, who was named Marcia, said, "How come we don't see your brother at school? He's not any older than sixteen or seventeen, is he?" I winced inside."**

"That must have been painful."

Five sets of pillows found their way on to one Two-Bit Matthews. Tim chuckled.

"You were right kid. That is fun."

"**I've told you I can't stand it that Soda dropped out. "He's a dropout," I said roughly. "Dropout" made me think of some poor dumb-looking hoodlum wandering the streets breaking out street lights—it didn't fit my happy-go-lucky brother at all. It fitted Dally perfectly, but you could hardly say it about Soda."**

"So, it would fit me, then?" Tim said, and smirked as he watched Pony's face change emotions in record time.

"Relax kid; I'm just yanking your chain."

"**Johnny came back then and sat down beside me. He looked around for Dally, then managed a shy "Hi" to the girls and tried to watch the movie. He was nervous though. Johnny was always nervous around strangers. Cherry looked at him, sizing him up like she had me. Then she smiled softly, and I knew she had sized him up right."**

"How could you not like Johnny? Johnny's awesome!"

Despite the fact that they all agreed with Two-Bit, the poor greaser was met with several more pillows to the head, face and body.

"**Dally came striding back with an armful of Cokes. He handed one to each of the girls and sat down beside Cherry. "This might cool you off." She gave him an incredulous look; and then she threw her Coke in his face. "That might cool you off, greaser. After you wash your mouth and learn how to talk and act decent, I might cool off, too." Dally wiped the Coke off his face with his sleeve and smiled dangerously. If I had been Cherry I would have beat it out of there. I knew that smile"**

"Dun, dun, dunnnnn!"

It was Soda's turn to become acquainted with the pillows; a fact that Two-Bit exploited with delight.

"Pony's girlfriend is AWESOME!"

"That's it!"

Instead of pillows, Two-Bit was met with a really pissed off Curtis. Tim was almost knocked to the ground as the two greasers were engaged in an epic wrestling match that was only concluded when Darry broke the two apart.

""**Fiery, huh? Well, that's the way I like 'em." He started to put his arm around her, but Johnny reached over and stopped him. "Leave her alone, Dally.""**

The whole living room was silent. Everyone, except for Pony, was in shock. Two-Bit began to laugh. Ignoring the looks that everyone was giving him, he burst out with his (unwanted) opinion.

"How I wish I could have been there for that!"

Everyone else quickly caught on to what he was talking about and the whole living room exploded with laughter.

""**Huh?" Dally was taken off guard. He stared at Johnny in disbelief. Johnny couldn't say "Boo" to a goose. Johnny gulped and got a little pale, but he said, "You heard me. Leave her alone." Dallas scowled for a second. If it had been me, or Two-Bit, or Soda or Steve, or anyone but Johnny, Dally would have flattened him without a moment's hesitation. You just didn't ell Dally Winston what to do."**

"Why would you say Boo to a goose?"

Both Soda and Two-Bit (for good measure) got reacquainted with their good friends (the pillows.)

"**One time, in a dime store, a guy told him to move over at the candy counter. Dally had turned around and belted him so hard it knocked a tooth loose. A complete stranger, too. But Johnny was the gang's pet, and Dally just couldn't hit him. He was Dally's pet, too. Dally got up and stalked off, his fist jammed in this pockets and a frown on his face. He didn't come back."**

"I remember that incident. It was a Soc that told him to move." Tim said. "Dally was lucky not to have been the cause for a rumble."

**Cherry sighed in relief. "Thanks. He had me scared to death." Johnny managed an admiring grin. "You sure didn't show it. Nobody talks to dally like that." She smiled. "From what I saw, you do." Johnny's ears got red.**

"Just like Pony."

"I swear, Two-Bit…" Pony warned glaring at the older greaser.

"**I was still staring at him. It had taken more than nerve for him to say what he'd said to Dally-Johnny worshiped the ground Dallas walked on, and I had never heard Johnny talk back to anyone, much less his hero."**

There was silence from all six Greasers, remembering the thing that caused Dallas to break in the first place and had Johnny's unspoken hero-ship for him.

"**Marcia grinned at us. She was a little smaller than Cherry. She was cute, but that Cherry Valance was a real looker. "Ya'll sit up here with us. You can protect us.""**

Tim, Soda, Steve, and Two-Bit howled with laughter at the thought of Ponyboy and Johnny protecting two Socy girls from any tough hoods or their boyfriends. Darry could be seen trying hard not to laugh at his little brother's expense.

"Aw, shut up will ya." Pony remarked the blush once again spreading over his face.

"It's okay to like more than one girl Ponyboy." Two-Bit remarked.

The usual response to Two-Bit's stupid remarks, were thrown at Two-Bit's head, except it was only one pillow coming from Ponyboy.

"**Johnny and I looked at each other. He grinned suddenly, raising his eyebrows so that they disappeared under his bangs. Would we ever have something to tell the boys! his eyes said plainly. We had picked up two girls, and classy ones at that. Not any greasey broads for us, but real Socs. Soda was going to flip when I told him."**

"I'm still in shock that you and Johnny managed to pick up girls at all." Steve said, emphasizing the word 'managed'.

"Aw, you're just jealous that you can't get Socy girls." Ponyboy remarked.

"Stupid, smart ass kid." Steve mumbled.

""**Okay," I said nonchalantly, "might as well." I sat between them, and Johnny sat next to Cherry. "How old are ya'll?" Marcia asked. "Fourteen." I said. "Sixteen," said Johnny. "That's funny," Marcia said, "I thought you were both…" "Sixteen," Cherry finished for her. I was grateful. Johnny looked fourteen and he knew it and it bugged him something awful."**

"It wasn't Johnnycake's fault that he was small." Two-Bit said.

Two-Bit was, once again, pelted with pillows.

"**Johnny grinned. "How come ya'll ain't scared of us like you were Dally?" Cherry sighed. "You two are too sweet to scare anybody. First of all, you didn't join in Dallas's dirty talk, and you made him leave us alone. And when we asked you to sit us here with us, you didn't act like it was an invitation to make out for the night. Besides that, I've heard about Dallas Winston, and he looked as hard as nails and twice as tough. And you two don't look mean.""**

"Yeah, Pony, I told you. You look nice and non-violent and…" Two-Bit started listing off things.

"That's it." Pony growled.

He lunged at Two-Bit and another wrestling match was in progress. Darry and Tim managed to pull the two Greasers apart.

""**Sure," I said tiredly. "we're young and innocent." "No," Cherry said slowly, looking at me carefully, "not innocent. You've seen too much to be innocent. Just not…dirty.""**

Everybody was silent remembering what they all had seen; none of them would ever be innocent again.

"Steve, read on." Pony broke the memories that everyone was regaling.

""**Dally's okay," Johnny said defensively, and I nodded. You take up for your buddies, no matter what they do. When you're a gang, you stick up for the members. If you don't stick up for them, stick together, make like brothers, it isn't a gang any more. It's a pack. A snarling, distrustful, bickering pack like the Socs in their social clubs or the street gangs in New York or the wolves in the timber. "He's tough, but he's a cool old guy.""**

"Pony remember when I told you 'you never think'?" Darry questioned.

"Yeah?" Ponyboy asked, confused.

"I take it back, you think too much." Darry remarked.

"Yeah, well what do you think I do when I'm daydreaming?" Pony said.

Darry just smirked.

""**He'd leave you alone if he knew you," I said, and that was true. When Steve's cousin from Kansas came down, Dally was decent to her and watched his swearing. We all did around the nice girls who were the cousinly type. I don't know how to explain it-we try to be nice to the girls we see once in a while, like cousins or the girls in class; but we still watch a nice girl go by on a street corner and say all kinds of lousy stuff about her. Don't ask me why. I don't know why."**

"Glory kid, you remember that?" Steve asked astonished.

Ponyboy just shrugged his shoulders.

""**Well," Marcia said with finality, "I'm glad he doesn't know us." "I kind of admire him," Cherry said softly, so only I heard, and then we settled down to watch the movie.**

Two-Bit laughed, "A Soc, admiring Dally. Who would have thought the day would come."

Pillows were thrown.

"**Oh, yeah, we found out why they were there without a car. They'd come with their boyfriends, but walked out on them when they found out the boys had brought some booze along. The boys had gotten angry and left. "I don't care if they did." Cherry sounded annoyed. "It's not my idea of a good time to sit in a drive-in and watch people get drunk."**

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Two-Bit yelled at the book.

"You'd know if you didn't drink." Pony mumbled.

"What was that kid?" Two-Bit asked.

"Nothin'." Ponyboy replied innocently.

"**You could tell by the way she said it that her idea of a good time was probably high-class, and probably expensive. They'd decided to stay and see the movie anyway. It was one of those beach-party movies with no plot and no acting but a lot of girls in bikinis and some swinging songs, so it was alright."**

"Bikinis? Kid you got some hobby we don't know about?" Two-Bit teased.

"Two-Bit, do you ever shut up?" Pony asked, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"Nope. Deal with it." Two-Bit stated.

"**We were all four sitting there in silence when a strong hand came down on Johnny's shoulder and another on mine and a deep voice said, "Okay, greasers, you've had it.""**

Two-Bit started cracking up.

"What are ya laughing at, ya idiot?" Tim smacked Two-Bit with a pillow.

Pony just rolled his eyes.

"**I almost jumped out of my skin. It was like having someone leap out from behind a door and yell "Boo!" at you. I looked fearfully over my shoulder and there was Two-Bit, grinning like a Chessy cat."**

"I'm so funny right? I should be a comedian." Two-Bit said proudly.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night Two-Bit." Pony replied.

"Yeah Two-Bit, it was so funny, I forgot to laugh." Soda piped up.

""**Glory, Two-Bit, scare us to death!" He was good at voice imitations and had sounded for all the world like a snarling Soc."**

"Well somebody appreciates me." Two-Bit grinned at Ponyboy.

"Yeah, you're not too bad." Pony smiled back.

"**Then I looked at Johnny. His eyes were shut and he was as white as a ghost. His breath was coming in smothered gasps. Two-Bit knew better than to scare Johnny like that. I guess he'd forgotten. He's kind of scatterbrained."**

"Aw kid, that's just wrong. You compliment me and then bag on me." Two-Bit said, acting mad.

"**Johnny opened his eyes and said weakly, "Hey, Two-Bit." Two-Bit messed up his hair. "Sorry, kid," he said, "I forgot.""**

"Two-Bit don't get all pissy, even you admitted it." Ponyboy remarked hoping Two-Bit wasn't too mad at him.

"It's okay kid. I know I'm scatterbrained." Two-Bit smiled goofily.

"**He climbed over the chair and plopped down beside Marcia. "Who's this, great-aunts?" "Great-grandmothers, twice removed," Cherry said smoothly.**

"That pick up line works all the time." Two-Bit said.

Everyone rolled their eyes and threw pillows at Two-Bit's face.

**I couldn't tell if Two-Bit was drunk or not. It's kind of hard to tell with him-he acts boozed up sometimes even when he's sober. He cocked one eyebrow up and the other down, which he always does when something puzzles him, or bothers him, or when he feels like saying something smart."**

"Ponyboy's stalking me!" Two-Bit yelled.

"You idiot! I can't stalk you 'cause you're over here most of the time. Plus your life's interesting anyways." Pony replied, angrily.

"Oh yeah." Two-Bit agreed.

""**Shoot, you're ninety-six if you're a day." "I'm a night," Marcia said brightly. Two-Bit stared at her admiringly. "Brother, you're a sharp one. Where'd you two ever get picked up by a couple of greasy hoods like Pony and Johnny?""**

"Oh my Gosh! Another apocalypse! Two-Bit likes a Soc!" Soda yelled.

"Gimme one of those." Two-Bit grabbed a pillow from the sofa and threw it at Soda's face.

""**We really picked them up," Marcia said. "We're really Arabian slave traders and we're thinking about shanghaiing them. They're worth ten camels apiece at least." "Five," Two-Bit disagreed. "They don't talk Arabian, I don't think. Say somethin' in Arabian, Johnnycake." "Aw, cut it out!" Johnny broke in. "Dally was bothering them and when he left they wanted us to sit with them to protect them. Against wisecracking greasers like you, probably." Two-Bit grinned, because Johnny didn't usually get sassy like that. We thought we were doing good if we could get him to talk at all. Incidentally, we don't mind being called greaser by another greaser. It's kind of playful then."**

All the greasers laughed at the fact of Johnny getting mouthy.

"Wish I could've been there to hear that." Steve said.

""**Hey where is ol' Dally, anyways?" "He went hunting some action-booze or dames or a fight. I hope he don't get jailed again. He just got out." "He'll probably find the fight," Two-Bit stated cheerfully. "That's why I came over. Mr. Timothy Shepard and Co. are looking for whoever so kindly slashed their car's tires, and since Mr. Curly Shepard spotted Dallas doing it…well…Does Dally have a blade?""**

"'Mr. Timothy Shepard and Co.'?" Tim asked glaring at Two-Bit.

"It was a joke man, lighten up." Two-Bit punched Tim on the shoulder playfully.

Another wrestling match ensued and was separated.

""**Not that I know of," I said. "I think he's got a piece of pipe, but he busted his blade this morning" "Good. Tim'll fight fair if Dally don't pull a blade on him. Dally shouldn't have any trouble." Cherry and Marcia were staring at us. "You don't believe in playing rough or anything, do you?""**

"Socs, they don't understand anything. Just live in their perfect little world bubbles." Tim growled.

"Tim that's not true." Pony told him.

Tim and Ponyboy were both glaring at each other.

""**A fair fight isn't rough," Two-Bit said. "Blades are rough. So are chains and heaters and pool sticks and rumbles. Skin fighting isn't rough. It blows off steam better than anything. There's nothing wrong with throwing a few punches. Socs are rough. They gang up on one or two, or they rumble each other with their social clubs. Us greasers usually stick together, but when we do fight among ourselves, it's a fair fight between two. And Dally deserves whatever he gets, 'cause slashed tires ain't no joke when you've got to work to pay for them. He got spotted, too, and that was his fault. Our one rule, besides Stick together, is Don't get caught. He might get beat up, he might not. Either way there's not going to be any blood feud between our outfit and Shepard's. If we needed them tomorrow they'd show. If Tim beats Dally's head in, and then tomorrow asks us for help in a rumble, we'll show. Dally was getting kicks. He got caught. He pays up. No sweat.""**

"Whoa." Soda said.

"What?" Darry questioned.

"I just never thought the day would come when Two-Bit made sense for almost a whole minute." Soda said amazed.

Everyone laughed.

"See, I am a comedian." Two-Bit remarked.

He was ambushed with pillows, for what was surely not the last time.

""**Yeah, boy," Cherry said sarcastically, "real simple." "Sure," Marcia said, unconcerned. "If he gets killed or something you just bury him. No sweat." "You dig okay, baby." Two-Bit grinned and lit a cigarette. "Anyone want a weed?""**

"Looks like the kid wasn't the only one attracted to a Soc." Steve smirked.

"Shut up Randle. Nobody asked you." Two-Bit grumbled.

"**I looked at Two-Bit admiringly. He sure put things into words good. Maybe he was still a junior at eighteen and a half, and maybe his sideburns were too long, and maybe he did get boozed up too much, but he sure understood things."**

"Why do you keep doing that?" Two-Bit asked Ponyboy.

"What?" Pony questioned.

"You compliment me and then you insult me, that's screwed up man." Two-Bit said.

"I don't know, this was two years ago. How am I supposed to know?" Pony answered.

"**Cherry and Marcia shook their heads at his offering of cigarettes, but Johnny and I reached for one. Johnny's color was back and his breathing was regular, but his hand was shaking ever so slightly. A cigarette would steady it. "Ponyboy, will you come with me to get some popcorn?" Cherry asked. I jumped up. "Sure. Ya'll want some?""**

"A little eager there, were ya Pony?" Soda asked, smiling teasingly at his younger brother.

Ponyboy blushed and looked down at his feet.

"Soda lay off. I bet you would've done the same thing." Darry jumped in.

Pony looked at Darry; his eyes said 'Thanks'.

"Sorry, Pone." Soda apologized.

"It's alright." Pony said.

""**I do," said Marcia. She was finishing the Coke Dally had given her. I realized then that Marcia and Cherry weren't alike. Cherry said she wouldn't drink Dally's Coke if she was starving, and she meant it. It was the principle of the thing. But Marcia saw no reason to throw away a perfectly good, free Coke."**

"There ya go kid, thinkin' too much again." Steve remarked.

""**Me too," said Two-Bit. He flipped me a fifty-cent piece. "Get Johnny some too. I'm buyin'," he added as Johnny started to reach into his jeans pocket. We went to the concession stand and, as usual, there was a line a mile ling, so we had to wait. Quite a few kids turned to look at us-you didn't see a kid grease and a Socy cheerleader together often. Cherry didn't seem to notice. "Your friend-the one with the sideburns-he's okay?" "He ain't dangerous like Dallas if that's what you mean. He's okay.""**

"Sure kid, just ruined my rep in front of a Soc." Two-Bit said.

"No problem anytime. Plus Cherry didn't treat you any differently so why does it matter?" Ponyboy asked.

"It's the principle of the thing." Two-Bit said, holding his head up high and mighty.

Darry smacked his on the back of his head.

"Thanks." Pony remarked to Darry.

"That's what brothers are for." Darry told him.

"**She smiled and her eyes showed that her mind was on something else. "Johnny… he's been hurt bad sometime hasn't he?" It was more of a statement than a question. "Hurt and scared." "It was the Socs," I said nervously, because there were plenty of Socs milling around and some of them were giving me funny looks, as if I shouldn't be with Cherry or something. And I don't like to talk about it either-Johnny getting beat up, I mean. But I started in, talking a little faster then I usually do because I don't like to think about it either." "It was almost four months ago. I had walked down to the DX station to get a bottle of pop and to see Steve and Soda, because they'll always buy me a couple of bottles and let me help work on the cars."**

"Man and I thought I wasn't going to be mentioned in this chapter." Steve complained.

"**I don't like to go on weekends because then there is usually a bunch of girls down there flirting with Soda-all kinds of girls, Socs too. I don't care too much for girls yet. Soda says I'll grow out of it. He did"**

"Yep, and apparently it's red-heads and Socy girls." Two-Bit remarked.

Ponyboy just rolled his eyes and whacked Two-Bit in the face with a pillow.

"**It was a warmish spring day with the sun shining bright, but it was getting chilly and dark by the time we started for home. We were walking because we had left Steve's car at the station. At the corner of our block there's a wide, open field where we play football and hang out, it's often a site for rumbles and fist fights. We were passing it, kicking rocks down the street and finishing our last bottles of Pepsi, when Steve noticed something lying on the ground. He picked it up. It was Johnny's blue-jeans jacket-the only jacket he had. "Looks like Johnny forgot his jacket," Steve said, slinging it over his shoulder to take it by Johnny's house. Suddenly he stopped and examined it more carefully. There was a stain the color of rust across the collar. He looked at the ground. There were some more stains on the grass. He looked up and across the field with a stricken expression on his face."**

"God kid, you remember all sorts of stuff. I don't even remember all the details." Steve told Pony.

"It comes from reading." Ponyboy explained.

"**I think we all heard a low moan and saw the dark motionless hump on the other side of the lot at the same time. Soda reached him first. Johnny was lying face down on the ground. Soda turned him over gently, and I nearly got sick. Someone had beaten him badly."**

"Think we could still kick those Socs asses?" Soda asked angry at what the Socs did to Johnny.

"It'd be pointless, since the main person that did it is dead, Soda." Ponyboy pointed out.

"Oh…right." Soda said still wishing he could teach some Socs to not pick on people smaller than them.

"**We were used to seeing Johnny banged up-his father clobbered him around a lot, and although it made us madder than heck, we couldn't do anything about it. But those beatings had been nothing like this. Johnny's face was cut up and bruised and swollen, and there was a wide gash from his temple to his cheekbone. He would carry that scar all his life. His white T-shirt was splattered with blood. I thought he might be dead; surely nobody could be beaten like that and live. Steve closed his eyes for a second and muffled a groan as he dropped on his knees beside Soda."**

"Can we beat his parents up?" Soda questioned.

"Soda, fighting doesn't do any good. Just leave it, what happened happened." Pony said with a sigh.

"Man the kid got smarter." Two-Bit remarked.

"Didn't think that was possible." Steve chimed in.

Steve and Two-Bit got pillows thrown at them.

"**Somehow the gang sensed what had happened. Two-Bit was suddenly there beside me, and for once his comical grin was gone and his dancing gray eyes were stormy. Darry had seen us from our porch and ran toward us, suddenly skidding to a halt. Dally was there, too, swearing under his breath, and turning away with a sick expression on his face. I wondered about it vaguely. Dally had seen people killed on the streets of New York's West Side. Why did he look sick now?"**

"I was so stupid for not seeing how Dally saw Johnny as a little brother." Pony mumbled to himself.

""**Johnny?" Soda lifted him up and held him against his shoulder. He gave the limp body a slight shake. "Hey, Johnnycake." Johnny didn't open his eyes, but there came a soft question. "Soda?" "Yeah, it's me," Sodapop said. "Don't talk. You're gonna be okay." "There was a whole bunch of them," Johnny went on, swallowing, ignoring Soda's command. "A blue Mustang full… I got so scared…" He tried to swear, but suddenly started crying, fighting to control himself, then sobbing all the more because he couldn't. I seen Johnny take a whipping with a two-by-four from his old man and never let out a whimper. That made it worse to see him break now. Soda just held him and pushed Johnny's hair back out of his eyes. "It's okay, Johnnycake, they're gone now. It's okay.""**

"I really want to kick some Soc butt!" Soda yelled.

"Yeah, me too." Steve agreed.

"I'll help." Tim stated.

"Guys, just move on. Read the rest Steve." Pony said.

"**Finally, between sobs, Johnny managed to gasp out his story. He had been hunting our football to practice a few kicks when a blue Mustang had pulled up beside the lot. There were four Socs in it. They had caught him and one of them had a lot if rings in his hand-that's what had cut Johnny up so badly. It wasn't just that they had beaten him half to death-he could take that. They had scared him. They had threatened him with everything under the sun. Johnny was high-strung anyway, a nervous wreck form getting belted every time he turned around and from hearing his parents fight all the time. Living in those conditions might have turned someone else rebellious and bitter; it was killing Johnny. He had never been a coward. He was a good man in a rumble. He stuck up for the gang and kept his mouth shut good around cops. But after the night of the beating, Johnny was jumpier than ever. I didn't think he'd ever he'd over it. Johnny never walked by himself after that. And Johnny, who was the most law-abiding of us, now carried in his back pocket a six-inch switchblade. He'd use it, too, if he ever got jumped again. They had scared him that much. He would kill the next person who jumped him. Nobody was ever going to beat him like that again. Not over his dead body…"**

"Yeah, Johnnycake did stab him." Two-Bit stated.

"That's called foreshadowing Two-Bit, I did it on purpose." Ponyboy told the older greaser.

"Oh, that makes sense." Two-Bit reasoned.

"**I had nearly forgotten that Cherry was listening to me. But when I came back to reality and looked at her, I was startled to find her as white as a sheet."**

"Good she should be, it was her boyfriend that did it to him." Soda said.

"Pepsi-Cola, just take a chill pill." Darry remarked.

""**All Socs aren't like that," she said. "You have to believe me, Ponyboy. Not all of us are like that." "Sure," I said. "That's like saying all you greasers are like Dallas Winston. I'll bet he's jumped a few people." I digested that. It was true. Dally had jumped people. He had told us stories about muggings in New York that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. But not all of us were that bad."**

"I thought I told Dally not to tell you those stories." Darry said.

"Dar, just because you told him not to, doesn't mean he won't." Pony stated.

"**Cherry no longer looked sick, only sad. "I'll bet you think the Socs have it made. The rich kids, the West-side Socs. I'll tell you something, Ponyboy, and it may come as a surprise. We have troubles you've never even heard of. You want to know something?" She looked me straight in the eye. "Things are rough all over.""**

All the greasers, except Ponyboy, snorted in disbelief.

""**I believe you," I said. "We'd better got back out there with the popcorn or Two-Bit'll think I ran off with his money.""**

"You believe her kid?" Two-Bit asked incredulously.

Pony nodded and didn't say anything else on the subject.

"**We went back and watched the movie through again. Marcia and Two-Bit were hitting it off fine. Both had the same scatterbrained sense of humor."**

"I'm not the only one that's scatterbrained."

Nobody had to look to see the moron that said that, they just threw pillows. It was a much better way to shut him up.

"**But Cherry and Johnny and I just sat there, looking at the movie and not talking, I quit worrying about everything and thought about how nice it was to sit with a girl without having to listen to her swear or to beat her off with a club. I knew Johnny liked it, too. He didn't talk to girls much. Once, while Dallas was in reform school, Sylvia had started hanging on to Johnny and sweet-talking him and Steve got a hold of her and told her of she tried any of her tricks with Johnny he's personally beat the tar out of her. Then he gave Johnny a lecture on girls and how a sneaking little broad like Sylvia would get him into a lot of trouble. As a result, Johnny never spoke to girls much, but whether that was because he was scared of Steve or because he was shy, I couldn't tell."**

"Glory kid, do you remember everything?" Steve asked Ponyboy.

"No, not everything. Just almost everything." Pony smirked.

"Don't be cocky Ponyboy, it doesn't suit you." Darry warned.

"**I got the same lecture from Two-Bit after we'd picked up couple of girls downtown one day."**

"When did you pick up girls?" Steve asked.

Both older Curtis brothers stared at their youngest brother, hoping that he'd have answers.

Pony just shrugged and mumbled something.

Soda and Darry looked at each other shocked; neither of them had known he was into girls at fourteen.

"**I thought it was funny, because girls are one subject even Darry thinks I use my head about. And it really had been funny, because Two-Bit was half-crocked when he gave me the lecture, and he told me some stories that about made me want to crawl under the floor or something."**

"Two-Bit I thought I told you never to tell him any of that stuff." Darry said.

"I was drunk, I didn't remember." Two-Bit defended.

"You're always drunk, that doesn't count." Darry told him.

"Dang it…" Two-Bit said under his breath.

"Don't ever tell him that kind of stuff again. Ya hear?" Darry questioned.

"Yep, loud and clear." Two-Bit said.

"Darry, you do know that I hear that stuff all the time at school from Socs and Greasers, not just Two-Bit." Ponyboy reminded him.

Darry sighed, "I know and I can't do anything about them, but I can do something about Two-Bit."

"**But he had been talking about girls like Sylvia and the girls he and Dally and the rest picked up at the drive-ins and downtown; he never said anything about Socy girls."**

"See Darry, I didn't tell him everything, but I could give him another lesson." Two-Bit suggested.

Darry glared at Two-Bit.

"I'll take that as a 'no' then."

"**So I figured it was all right to be sitting there with them. Even if they did have their own troubles. I really couldn't see what Socs would have to sweat about-good grades, good cars, good girls, madras and Mustangs and Corvairs-Man, I thought, if I had worries like that I'd consider myself lucky. I know better now."**

"Well that's it. Who'd reading next?" Steve put the book down.

"I will!" Two-Bit shouted.

Darry, Soda, and Steve were about to protest when Ponyboy said, "Aw, just let him. Maybe he won't talk so much then.

"Yay!" Two-Bit yelled.

Two-Bit had pillows thrown at him and he just smiled.

_**Luplovell345: Okay finally done with the chapter. Please enjoy and we will update as soon as possible. Please review because they mean everything and are the motivation to keep writing. Thanks!**_

_**Ginnyrules27: Yay! With the much needed help of Luplovell345, another chapter has been added to this story. Summer has come, which means the story should be updated faster. Like my co-author said, please review, as they motivate us to reward our readers with new chapters. **_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

A/N: I do not own the Outsiders.

"Okay, Chapter three." Two-Bit said, opening up the book.

"**After the movie was over, it suddenly came to us that Cherry and Marcia didn't have a way to get home."**

"How convenient, the boy with the steel safe memory _forgot_ about the two hot babes sitting next to him." Soda said, smirking.

"You're talking about Two-Bit, right dear brother?" Pony said, glaring at Soda.

"Hurry Two-Bit, before I get knocked over by the two daredevils again." Tim said, and motioned for Two-Bit to continue.

"**Two-Bit gallantly offered to walk them home—the west side of town was only about twenty miles away—but they wanted to call their parents and have them come and get them. Two-Bit finally talked them into letting us drive them home in his car."**

"Who did you have to bribe to fix your brakes?" Steve asked, with a smirk on his face.

"The brakes were fine. It was out of gas."

"**I think they were still half-scared of us. They were getting over it, though, as we walked to Two-Bit's house to pick up the car. It seemed funny to me that Socs—if these girls were any example—were just like us."**

A long silence ensued after that.

"**They liked the Beatles and thought Elvis Presley was out, and we thought the Beatles were rank and that Elvis was tuff, but that seemed the only difference to me. Of course greasey girls would have acted a lot tougher, but there was a basic sameness. I thought maybe it was money that separated us. "No," Cherry said slowly when I said this. "It's not just money. Part of it is, but not all. You greasers have a different set of values. You're more emotional. We're sophisticated—cool to the point of not feeling anything. Nothing is real with us. You know, sometimes I'll catch myself talking to a girl-friend, and realize I don't mean half of what I'm saying. I don't really think a beer blast on the river bottom is super-cool, but I'll rave about one to a girl-friend just to be saying something. I think you're the first person I've ever really gotten through to." She was coming through to me all right, probably because I was a greaser, and younger, she didn't have to keep her guard up with me."**

"Feeling very sure of yourself, eh Pony?"

Instead of a pillow or growl, Pony just muttered "Shut it."

""**Rat race is a perfect name for it," she said. "We're always going and going, and never asking where. Did you ever hear of having more than you wanted? So that you couldn't want anything else and then started looking for something else to want? It seems like we're always searching for something else to satisfy us, and never finding it. Maybe if we could loose our cool we could.""**

"What do they call jumping us, then?" Tim snarled.

"I really don't know. Now let Two-Bit read before he wets himself." Steve said, smirking at Two-Bit and ducking a pillow.

"**That was the truth. Socs were always behind a wall of aloofness, careful not to let their real selves show through. I had seen a social-club rumble once. The Socs even fought coldly and practically and impersonally. "That's why we're separated," I said. "It's not money, it's feeling—you don't feel anything and we feel to violently." "And"—she was trying to hide a smile—"that's probably why we take turns getting ours names in the paper.""**

"Are you trying to _impress_ her?" Soda turned to his little brother. The one greaser who (in his opinion) was the least girl crazy of the bunch was proving him wrong.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not."

"**Two-Bit ad Marcia weren't even listening to us. They were engaged in some wild conversation that made no sense to anyone but themselves. I have quite a rep for being quiet, almost as quiet as Johnny. Two-Bit always said he wondered why Johnny and I were such good buddies."**

"How were you such good buddies?"

Pony just smirked and motioned for Two-Bit to continue reading. That he did, but not before he lodged a pillow at Pony's head.

""**You must make some interstin' conversation," he'd say, cocking one eyebrow, " you keepin' your mouth shut and Johnny not saying anything." But Johnny and I understood each other with out saying anything. Nobody but Soda could really get me talking."**

"Unless a teacher calls on you in class. Then you never shut up." Steve smirked.

"Oh, shut up Steve. At least I don't go around drooling over the Spanish teacher." Pony shot back.

"You swore you'd never tell!" Steve was now performing his own tomato impersonation.

"I forgot."

"**Till I met Cherry Valance. I don't' know why I could talk to her; maybe for the same reason she could talk to me." **

"The kid clams up around us, but can hold a conversation with a Soc?" Steve muttered into Soda's ear.

"A girl, at that."

"**The first thing I knew I was telling her about Mickey Mouse, Soda's horse. I had never told anyone about Soda's horse. It was personal. Soda had this buckskin horse, only it wasn't his. It belonged to a guy who kept it at the stables where Soda used to work. Mickey Mouse was Soda's horse, though. The first day Soda saw him he said, "There's my horse," and I never doubted it. I was about ten then. Sodapop is horsecrazy, I mean it. He's always hanging around stables and rodeos, hopping on a horse every time he gets a chance. When I was ten, I thought that Mickey Mouse and Soda looked alike and were alike. Mickey Mouse was a dark-gold buckskin, sassy and ornery, not much more than a colt. He'd come when Soda called him. He wouldn't come for anyone else. That horse loved Soda. He'd stand there and chew on Soda's sleeve or collar. Gosh, but Soda was crazy about that horse. He went down to see him every day. Mickey Mouse was a mean horse. He kicked other horses and was always getting into trouble."**

"My god, Ponyboy," Darry said, his eyes widened in shock. "Do you remember _everything?_" He was also a little pissed at himself for forgetting about Soda's horse. He was the older brother. He should be the one to remember these things, not the boy who was barely a teen when this was written.

Pony just shrugged.

""**I've got me a ornery pony," Soda'd tell him, rubbing his neck. "How come you're so mean, Mickey Mouse?" Mickey Mouse would just chew on his sleeve, and sometimes nip him. But not hard. He may have belonged to another guy, but he was Soda's horse. "Does Soda still have him?" Cherry asked. "He got sold." I said. "they came and got him one day and took him off. He was a real valuable horse. Pure quarter.""**

"That's it!" Steve cried. "The kid knows EVERYTHING!"

"Shut it, Steve." Pony said, flinging a pillow into Steve's face.

"Ummm? Pony? " Darry said. "Even I didn't know what type of horse Mickey was."

Two-Bit, who had been paying little to no attention to the conversation, chimed in, "Hey! Mickey's not a horse! He's a mouse."

Needless to say, the gang grabbed their pillows and threw them at Two-Bit. He ducked and continued to read.

"**She didn't say anything else and I was glad. I couldn't tell her that Soda had bawled all night long after they came and got Mickey Mouse. I had cried, too, if you want to know the truth, because Soda never wanted anything except a horse, and he'd lost his, He never let on to Mom and Dad how he felt, though, because we never had enough money and usually we had a hard time making ends meet. When you're thirteen in our neighborhood you know the score. I kept saving my money for a year, thinking that someday I could by Mickey Mouse back for Soda. You're not so smart at ten."**

"That's why you were saving all that money?" Soda asked his younger brother, smiling at him. Pony blushed slightly and nodded. Darry was shocked at how much Pony seemed to care for Soda.

""**You read a lot, don't you, Ponyboy?" Cherry asked."**

"What gave it away?" Steve asked.

"Shut it, Steve."

"**I was startled. "Yeah. Why?" She kind of shrugged. "I could just tell. I'll bet you watch sunsets, too." She was quiet for a minute after I nodded. "I used to watch them too, before I got so busy…""**

"She scared me right then," Pony muttered. "I thought she was stalking me."

"Don't get your hopes up kid." Two-Bit told him. Pony jumped; he didn't know that someone heard him.

"**I pictured that, or tried to. Maybe Cherry stood still and watched the sun set while she was supposed to be taking the garbage out. Stood there and watched and forgot everything else until her big brother screamed at her to hurry up."**

Darry winced. He'd no idea how Pony had seen him two years ago. The only reason they'd stopped fighting was because Soda had asked them to.

"**I shook my head, It seemed funny to me that the sunset she saw from her patio and the one I saw from the back steps was the same one. Maybe the two different worlds we lived in weren't so different. We saw the same sunset."**

"Okay, Pony." Soda said. "Stop being so deep. It's giving me a headache."

"Oh, be quiet."

"**Marcia suddenly gasped."**

"Why? What happened?" Soda asked, worried. He didn't know what had happened before Pony got home that night, but he didn't want any thing to happen to him.

"If you'd let me read, you'd find out." Two-Bit growled.

""**Cherry, look what's coming." We all looked and saw a blue Mustang coming down the street. Johnny made a small noise in his throat and when I looked at him he was white. Marcia was shifting nervously. "What are we going to do?" Cherry bit a fingernail. "Stand here," she said. "There's not much else we can do." "What is it?" Two-Bit asked. "The F.B.I?" "No." Cherry said bleakly. "It's Randy and Bob." "And." Two-Bit added grimly. "a few other of the social elite checkered-shirt set.""**

"Oh, just Socs." Steve let out a sigh in relief.

"_Just _Socs?" Darry asked him, glaring at Steve.

"I just meant that Two-Bit was there to help out." Steve said, trying to not get pummeled by Darry. "It's not like Pony and Johnny are on their own out there."

""**Your boyfriends?" Johnny voice was steady, but standing as close to him as I was, I could see he was trembling. I wondered why—Johnny was a nervous wreck, but he was never that jumpy. Cherry started walking down the street. "Maybe they won't see us. Act normal." "Who's acting?" Two-Bit grinned. "I'm a natural normal." "Wish it was the other way around," I muttered,"**

"Watch it Pony," Two-Bit growled at his laughing friend. "I still haven't gotten you back for that yet."

"**and Two-Bit said, "Don't get mouthy, Ponyboy." The Mustang passed us slowly and went right on by. Marcia sighed in relief. "That was close." Cherry turned to me. "Tell me about your oldest brother. You don't talk much about him." I tried to think of something to say about Darry, and shrugged."**

"Please skip this, please drop it." Pony muttered under his breath. It was bad enough that Darry was apologizing for things he did over two years ago, but this was just incredible.

"Oh, awkward." Steve said. Darry wasn't looking forward to this anymore than Pony was, so he just motioned for Two-Bit to continue to read.

""**What's to talk about? He's big and handsome and likes to play football." "I mean, what's he like? I feel like I know Soda from the way you talk about him; tell me about Darry." And when I was silent she urged me on. "Is he wild and reckless like Soda? Dreamy, like you?""**

"Umm? Pon?" Soda asked his little brother. "You okay?"

"Of course Soda." Pony replied. The response was muffled because his face was jammed into a pillow. "Two-Bit, Steve, and Tim are busy laughing right now, so I'd just stick my head here and avoid humiliating myself further."

"Oh. Okay."

"**My face got hot as I bit my lip. Darry… what was Darry like? "He's…" I started to say he was a good ol' guy but I couldn't. I burst out bitterly: "He's not like Sodapop at all and he sure ain't like me. He's hard as rock and about as human. He's got eyes exactly like frozen ice. He thinks I'm a pain in the neck. He likes Soda—everybody likes Soda—but he can't stand me. I bet he wishes he could stick me in a home somewhere, and he'd do it, too, if Soda'd let him.""**

Ponyboy looked at Darry with wide eyes, his pillow forgotten for the moment. He hadn't forgotten that he'd said some rude things about his eldest brother, but he'd forgotten that he'd said _that._ Darry had winced at every insult Pony had laid out about him. His eyes were watering, waiting to spill over. He had no idea how low Pony had actually thought of him.

"Darry, this was two years ago, remember," Soda said, seeing how hurt Darry was. He ignored Soda and linked eyes with Ponyboy. Pony's face was full of apology and Darry's was full of torment.

"You...don't still feel that way, do you Pony?" Darry had to ask. Even though they'd stopped fighting, the feelings that had been revealed in the book might still be there. Darry didn't know what he'd do if his youngest brother still hated him.

"'Course not," Pony answered truthfully and gave his eldest brother a half smile. Darry returned the gesture and felt relief wash over him. He knew that Ponyboy was telling the truth. Ponyboy moved over toward Darry.

Steve seemed to be frozen with shock along with Tim. They'd never guess that the Curtis brothers, who in their eyes seemed to be the tightest family around, felt this was about each other. Steve was a little surprised that Pony's feelings about Darry were worse than Pony's feelings about _him. _

"**Two-Bit and Johnny were staring at me now. "No…" Two-Bit said, dumfounded. "No, Ponyboy, that ain't right…you got it wrong…" "Gee," Johnny said softly, "I thought you and Darry and Soda got along real well…""**

"Same here." Tim muttered.

""**Well, we don't," I snapped, feeling silly. I knew my ears were red by the way they were burning, and I was thankful for the darkness. I felt stupid. Compared to Johnny's home, mine was heaven. At least Darry didn't get drunk and beat me up or run me out of the house, and I had Sodapop to talk things over with. That made me mad, I mean making a fool of myself in front of everyone. ****"****"And you can shut your trap, Johnny Cade, cause we all know you ain't wanted at home, either. And you can't blame them.""**

"Glory, Ponyboy! I didn't know you to be like that," Tim said in complete disbelief.

"I ain't!" Ponyboy snapped. His voice was muffled because his face was jammed back into the pillow.

"I'm surprised Two-Bit didn't flatten you then and there," Soda said quietly.

"I kinda wanted to," Two-Bit admitted.

"**Johnny's eyes went round and he winced as thought I'd belted him. Two-bit slapped me a good one across the side of the head, and hard. "Shut your mouth, kid. If you wasn't Soda's kid brother I'd beat the tar out of you. You know better than to talk to Johnny like that." He put his hand on Johnny's shoulder. "He didn't mean it, Johnny.""**

Pony, who still hadn't brought his face up from his pillow haven, sighed. "I didn't mean it. Johnny was my buddy, I was mad at myself for being a bit ridiculous and overreacting that I took it out on the closest person. If Two-Bit had said that, I would have bitten his head off too."

The rest of the gang took about five minutes to translate that from pillow-ese, and then nodded their heads.

""**I'm sorry," I said miserably. Johnny was my buddy. " I was just mad." "it's the truth." Johnny said with a bleak grin. "I don't care." "Shut up talkin' like that," Two-Bit said fiercely, messing up Johnny's hair. "We couldn't get along without you, so you can just shut up!""**

"Wow, Two-Bit. That was impressive." Steve said. As Two-Bit began to puff out his chest, Steve continued. "Were you drunk?"

Two-Bit deflated and glared at the rest of the gang, who were laughing their asses off at his discomfort.

""**It ain't fair!" I cried passionately. "It ain't fair that we have all the rough breaks!" I didn't know exactly what I meant, but I was thinking about Johnny's father being a drunk and his mother a selfish slob, and Two-Bit's mother being a barmaid to support him and his kid sister after their father ran out on them, and Dally—wild, cunning Dally—turning into a hoodlum because he'd die if he didn't, and Steve—his hatred for his father coming out in his soft, bitter voice and the violence of his temper. Sodapop…a dropout so he could get a job and keep me in school, and Darry, getting old before his time trying to run a family and hold on to two jobs and never having any fun—while the Socs had so much spare time and money that they jumped us and each other for kicks, had beer blasts and river-bottom parties because they didn't know what else to do. Things were rough all over, all right. All over the East side. It just didn't seem right to me."**

Everyone looked at Pony, who was still attempting to imitate an ostrich by hiding his head into the pillow. Two-Bit knew how Pony felt—hell, he'd been there when Pony finally said the words every greaser had thought since the dawn of time. Steve never knew how much the kid noticed, even though he shouldn't have been so surprised. As they read the book, it revealed much about Pony that even his brothers didn't know.

""**I know," Two-Bit said with a good-natured grin, "the chips are always down when it's our turn, but that's the way things are. Like it or lump it." Cherry and Marcia didn't say anything. I guess they didn't know what to say. We had forgotten they were there."**

"Did Two-Bit say something _wise_?" Steve asked, Soda rolling on the floor laughing.

"Hey, I can be wise when I want to be."

"Which isn't often." Tim said, which started Soda off again.

"What is this, Pick on Two-Bit day?"

"Yes, yes it is." Darry and Steve said at the exact same time.

"**Then the blue Mustang was coming up the street again, more slowly. "Well," Cherry said resignedly, "they've spotted us." The Mustang came to a halt beside us, and the two boys in the front seat got out. They were Socs all right. One had on a white shirt and a madras ski jacket and the other a light-yellow shirt and a wine-colored sweater."**

"Okay. The kid notices everything." Steve said, with the air of finality in the tone of his voice. "That's just creepy."

"Shut it, Steve."

"Tell that to my face, kid."

Soda could now see what Steve was doing. By challenging Pony, Pony would have to lift his head off of the pillow and rejoin the group.

"Steve, I'm warning you…"

"Ohh. I'm so scared of someone who's hiding his face in a _pillow_."

"That's it!"

Steve was then attacked by a sixteen-year-old greaser. The wrestling match gave Soda the time to take the pillow away from Pony's location on the sofa, and lessened the tension that was in the air.

"**I looked at their clothes and realized for the first time that evening that all I had was a pair of jeans and Soda's old navy sweat shirt with the sleeves cut short. I swallowed. Two-Bit started to tuck in his shirttail, but stopped himself in time; he just flipped up the collar of his black leather jacket and lit a cigarette. The Socs didn't even seem to see us."**

"Didn't I tell you to wear a jacket?" Darry asked. He wasn't nagging; he just was curious why Pony was jacketless.

"No."

"Oh."

"Two-Bit, were you trying to impress the Socs?" Tim asked, drawing the attention away from the Curtis brothers.

"Shut up and let me read."

""**Cherry, Marcia, listen to us…" the handsome black-haired Soc with the dark sweater began. Johnny was breathing heavily and I noticed he was staring at the Soc's hand. He was wearing three heaving rings. I looked quickly at Johnny, an idea dawning on me. I remembered that it was a blue mustang that had pulled up beside the vacant lot and that Johnny's face had been cut up by someone wearing rings…"**

"Can we go and pound in the heads of the other Socs?" Soda growled.

"Pepsi-Cola/Soda, give it a rest!" Pony and Darry shouted at the same time.

"No."

Pony groaned and Darry slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand. His brother could be very stubborn.

"**The Soc's voice broke into my thoughts: "…just because we got a little drunk last time…" Cherry looked mad. "A little? You call reeling and passing out in the streets 'a little'? Bob, I told you I'm never going out with you while you're drinking, and I mean it. Too many things could happen while you're drunk. It's me or the booze.""**

"Whoa. Two-Bit doesn't even go that far." Steve said, shock evident on his face. Pony began to get worried. Bob and the others were drunk when they jumped him and Johnny. Pony just hoped he'd make it through without having to search for sanctuary in a pillow again.

"**The other Soc, a tall guy with a semi-Beatle haircut, turned to Marcia. "Baby, you know we don't get drunk vey often…" When she only gave him a cold stare he got angry. "And even if you are mad at us, that's no reason to go walking the streets with these bums." Two-Bit took a long drag on his cigarette, Johnny slouched his shoulders and hooked his thumbs in his pockets, and I stiffened. We can look meaner than anything when we want to-looking tough comes in handy. Two-Bit put his elbow on Johnny's shoulder. "Who you callin' bums?""**

"You, Two-Bit." Soda said, punching his buddy in the arm.

Two-Bit ignored him, but sent him a glare, and kept reading.

""**Listen, greasers, we got four more of us in the back seat…" "Then pity the back seat," Two-Bit said to the sky. "If you're looking for a fight…" Two-Bit cocked and eyebrow, but it only made him look more cool. "You mean if I'm looking for a good jumping, you outnumber us, so you'll give it to us? Well…" He snatched up an empty bottle, busted of the end, and gave it to me, then reached in his back pocket and flipped out his switchblade. "Try it pal."**

"See, I'm so tuff." Two-Bit grinned with pride.

Smacking with pillows was appropriate.

**""No!"Cherry cried. "Stop it!" She looked at Bob. "We'll ride home with you. Just wait a minute." "Why?" Two-Bit demanded. "We ain't scared of them." Cherry shuddered "I can't stand fights… I can't stand them…""**

"Sounds like somethin' a Soc broad would say." Tim said.

"Well, I wish she was around later that night." Ponyboy muttered to himself more than the gang.

"What do ya mean kid?" Steve asked, while Soda and Darry looked at their brother inquisitively.

"You'll see. Just keep reading Two-Bit." Pony replied.

**"I pulled her to one side. "I couldn't use this," I said, dropping the pop bottle. "I couldn't ever cut anyone…" I had to tell her that, because I'd seen her eyes when Two-Bit flicked out his switch."**

"Aw…" Two-Bit teased.

Pony just glared murderously at him.

**""I know," she said quietly, "but we'd better go with them. Ponyboy… I mean… if I see you in the hall at school or someplace and don't say hi, well, it's not personal or anything, but…" "I know," I said. "We couldn't let out parents see us with you all. You're a nice boy and everything…" "It's okay," I said, wishing I was dead and buried somewhere. Or at least that I had on a decent shirt. "We aren't in the same class. Just don't forget that some of us watch the sunset too.""**

"Well, that sucks." Steve summed up.

"Yeah, just wait. It gets worse." Ponyboy grumbled.

"There's other chicks Pone." Soda said, trying to console his little brother.

"Yeah, I know, I'm over her." Pony retorted.

**"She looked at me quickly. "I could fall in love with Dallas Winston," she said. "I hope I never see him again, or I will." She left me standing there with my mouth dropped open, and the blue Mustang vroomed off."**

"Told you it got worse." Ponyboy said.

"Wow, Dallas managed to score a Soc broad, too bad he ain't here. Bet he'd get a laugh outa that." Tim remarked.

**"We walked on home, mostly in silence. I wanted to ask Johnny if those were the same Socs that had beaten him up, but I didn't mention it. Johnny never talked about it and we never said anything. "Well, those were two good-lookin' girls if I ever saw any." Two-Bit yawned as we sat down on the curb at the vacant lot. He took a piece of paper out of his pocket and tore it up. "What was that?" "Marcia's number. Probably a phony one, too. I must have been outa my mind to ask for it. I think I'm a little soused.""**

**"**Oooo…" Steve teased Two-Bit.

"Shut up, Randle." Two-Bit said, while glaring.

**"So he had been drinking. Two-Bit was smart. He knew the score. "Ya'll goin' home?" he asked. "Not right now," I said. I wanted to have another smoke ad to watch the stars. I had to be in by twelve, but I thought I had plenty of time. "I don't know why I handed you that busted bottle," Two-Bit said, getting to his feet. "You'd never use it." "Maybe I would have," I said. "Where you headed?""**

"I like these two chapters; I've been complimented a lot. I like it, thanks kid." Two-Bit remarked, grinning at Ponyboy.

"No problem Two-Bit." Pony replied, shaking his head and smirking at the older greaser.

**""Gonna go play a little snooker and hunt up a poker game. Maybe get rip-roarin' drunk. I dunno. See ya'll tomorrow." Johnny and I stretched out on our backs and looked at the stars. It was freezing-it was a cold night and all I had was that sweat shirt, but I could watch stars in sub-zero weather. I saw Johnny's cigarette glowing in the dark and wondered vaguely what it was like inside a burning ember…"**

"There ya go again kid, thinking and thinking…" Steve droned on.

"Well, at least I find something useful to do in my spare time. Unlike SOME people." Ponyboy retorted angrily.

"Guys, stop okay, please. Just let Two-Bit read." Soda smiled, trying to make peace.

"Alright, alright." Pony and Steve both said.

**""It was because we're greasers," Johnny said, and I know he was talking about Cherry. "We could have hurt her reputation." "I reckon," I said, wondering if I ought to tell Johnny what she had said about Dallas. "Man, that was a tuff car. Mustangs are tuff." "Big-time Socs, all right," I said, a nervous bitterness growing inside me. It wasn't fair for the Socs to have everything. We were as good as they were; it wasn't out fault we were greasers. I couldn't just take it or leave it, like Two-Bit, or ignore it and love life anyway, like Sodapop, or harden myself beyond caring, like Dally, or actually enjoy it, like Tim Shepard. I felt the tension growing inside of me and I knew something had to happen or I would explode."**

"Good Lord, do you like observe us all, how do you know this?" Soda said.

"It's official the kid knows absolutely everything, but yet he's still a smartass." Steve commented.

**""I can't take much more." Johnny spoke my own feelings. "I'll kill myself or something.""**

The room was silent; none of the gang had known that Johnny felt that way except Ponyboy.

**""Don't," I said, sitting up in alarm. "You can't kill yourself, Johnny." **

**"Well, I won't. But I gotta do something. It seems like there's gotta be someplace without greasers or Socs, with just people. Plain ordinary people." "Out if the big towns," I said, lying back down. "In the country…""**

"Jeez, no wonder you two got along, you both think too much when you actually talk." Two-Bit remarked.

"Yeah, we just got each other." Ponyboy said looking down at the ground.

Soda put his arm around Pony's shoulders, along with Darry.

**"In the country… I loved the country. I wanted to be out of towns and away from excitement. I only wanted to lie on my back under a tree and read a book or draw a picture, and not worry about being jumped or carrying a blade or ending up married to some scatterbrained broad with no sense. The country would be like that, I thought dreamily. I would have a yeller cur dog, like I used to , and Sodapop could get Mickey Mouse back and ride in all the rodeos he wanted to , and Darry would lose that cold, hard look and be like he used to be, eight months ago, before Mom and Dad were killed. Since I was dreaming I brought Mom and Dad back to life… Mom could bake some more chocolate cakes and Dad would drive the pickup out early to feed the cattle. He would slap Darry on the back and tell him he was getting to be a man, a regular chip off the block, and they would be as close as they used to be. Maybe Johnny could come and live with us, and the gang could come out on weekends, and maybe Dallas would see that there was some good in the world after all, and Mom would talk to him and make him grin in spite of himself. "You've got quite a mom," Dally used to say. "She knows the score." She could talk to Dallas and kept him from getting into a lot of trouble. My mother was golden and beautiful…"**

The gang sat in silence, each member imagining what Pony had described would be like.

"Wow, Pone." Soda breathed out.

"It'd be great wouldn't it?" Ponyboy asked, wistfully.

"Yeah, Little Colt, it would." Darry said, tightening his grip on his youngest brothers' shoulders.

**""Ponyboy"-Johnny was shaking me-"Hey, Pony, wake up." I sat up, shivering. The stars had moved. "Glory, what time is it?" "I don't know. I went to sleep, too, listening to you rattle on and on. You'd better get home. I think I'll stay all night out here." Johnny's parents didn't care of he came home or not."**

"You sure we can't beat Johnny's parents up?" Soda asked, while Steve and Tim nodded encouragingly.

Darry and Pony sent the three a look.

"Okay, okay, just wondering." Soda said, holding his hands up in surrender.

""**Okay." I yawned. Gosh, but it was cold. "If you get cold or something come on over to our house." "Okay."**

"I swear I told you to bring a jacket." Darry remarked.

"**I ran home, trembling at the thought of facing Darry."**

"Yeah, maybe Darry will ground you, it was long time coming kid." Steve said.

The three Curtis brothers looked at each other, not saying anything. That night was permanently engrained in their head.

"**The porch light was on. Maybe they were asleep and I could sneak in, I thought. I peeked in the window. Sodapop was stretched out on the sofa, sound asleep, but Darry was in the armchair under the lamp, reading the newspaper. I gulped, and opened the door softly. Darry looked up from his paper. He was on his feet in a second. I stood there, chewing on my fingernail."**

"You ever stop that habit kid?" Two-Bit said, trying to lighten the tension that had settled around the room.

Ponyboy shrugged his shoulders.

""**Where the heck have you been? Do you know what time it is?" He was madder than I'd seen him in a long time. I shook my head wordlessly. "Well, it's two in the morning, kiddo. Another hour and I would have had the police our after you. Where were you, Ponyboy?"- his voice was rising- "Where in the almighty universe were you?" I sounded dumb, even to me, when I stammered, "I… I went to sleep in the lot…""**

"Hey, at least the kid recognized it was dumb." Steve said.

"Contrary to popular belief, I'm not totally oblivious." Pony defended quietly, while the comment was meant to be sarcastic it came out as defending and maybe remorseful.

Soda ruffled Pony's hair noticing the remorse in his voice.

""**You what?" He was shouting, and Sodapop sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Hey, Ponyboy," he said sleepily, "where ya been?""**

Steve, Tim, and Two-Bit snorted.

"Nice ice-breaker, Soda." Two-Bit said.

Soda just smiled hesitantly.

**` ""I didn't mean to." I pleaded with Darry. "I was talking to Johnny and we both dropped off…" "I reckon it never occurred to you that your brothers might be worrying their heads off and afraid to call the police because something like that could get you two thrown in a boys' home so quick it'd make you head spin. And you were asleep in the lot? Ponyboy, what on earth is the matter with you? Can't you use your head? You haven't even got a coat on." I felt hot tears of anger and frustration rising. "I said I didn't mean to…""**

The anxiety from the book and the three brothers was spreading in the room, so no one bothered to try and ease it.

""**I didn't mean to!" Darry shouted, and I almost shook. "I didn't think! I forgot! That's all I ever hear out of you! Can't you think of anything?" "Darry…" Sodapop began, but Darry turned on him. "You keep your trap shut! I'm sick and tired of hearin' you stick up for him.""**

"Jeez Superman, don't have to get all mad at Soda. Obviously it was the kid's fault." Steve said, feeling a need to protect his best friend.

"Steve, don't." Soda said.

Steve looked confused at Soda, but dropped the subject.

"**He should never yell at Soda. Nobody should ever holler at my brother. I exploded. "You don't yell at him!" I shouted. Darry wheeled around and slapped me so hard that it knocked me against the door."**

The whole room fell silent.

Darry was staring at the same hand that had hit Ponyboy two years ago.

Ponyboy looked at Darry worriedly, wondering if Darry was going to stay to listen to the rest of the story.

All eyes in the room fell on Darry.

Darry only met Ponyboy's gaze. Pony's expression wasn't anger, resentment, or even pity (which is what everyone else's expressions were full of, pity), but more of worry for Darry. Pony had forgiven Darry a long time ago, but Darry had never quiet gotten over that night.

Two-Bit looked back at the book and kept reading.

"**Suddenly it was deathly quiet. We had all frozen. Nobody in my family had ever hit me. Nobody. Soda was wide-eyed. Darry looked at the palm of his had where it had turned red and then looked back at me. His eyes were huge. "Ponyboy…" I turned and ran out the door and down the street as fast as I could. Darry screamed, "Pony, I didn't mean to!" but I was at the lot by then and pretended I couldn't hear. I was running away. It was plain to me that Darry didn't want me around. And I wouldn't stay of he did. He wasn't ever going to hit me again."**

"I was so afraid that you'd never come back home," Darry and Soda said to Ponyboy at the same time.

They smiled at each other halfheartedly, Soda more than Darry.

Ponyboy smiled at Darry, hoping to cheer him up a little.

Ponyboy, Soda, and Darry unconsciously moved closer to each other.

Two-Bit smiled ever so slightly at the loving brother moment, along with Steve.

Tim stared at his shoe, missing his younger brother who got jailed again.

""**Johnny?" I called, and started when he rolled over and jumped up almost under my feet. "Come on Johnny, we're running away." Johnny asked no questions. We ran for several blocks until we were out of breath. Then we walked. I was crying by then. I finally just sat down on the curb and cried, burying my face in my arms. Johnny sat down beside me, one hand on my shoulder. "Easy, Ponyboy," he said softly, "we'll be okay." I finally calmed down and wiped my eyes on my bare arm. My breath was coming in quivering sobs. "Gotta cigarette?" He handed me one and struck a match. "Johnny, I'm scared." "Well, don't be. You're scarin' me. What happened? I never seen you bawl like that.""**

"I should have been there for you." Soda and Darry, once again, said at the same time.

"It's okay guys, I probably wouldn't have listened anyways. It's okay, it's over and done with." Pony assured them.

""**I don't very often. It was Darry. He hit me. I don't know what happened, but I couldn't take him hollering at me and hitting me too. I don't know… sometimes we get along okay, then all of a sudden he blows up on me or else is naggin' at me all the time. He didn't use to be like that… we used to get along okay… before Mom and Dad died. Now he just can't stand me.""**

"I was just trying to do the right thing and… I don't know it's hard sometimes." Darry said.

"I know Dar, you shouldn't have to be a parent at your age, life's not fair, but I don't feel that way anymore. I was young and angry, I'm sorry. I never think of you like that… I love you." Pony declared, his voice soft, but still strong with confidence.

"I love you too Pony." Darry told his younger brother, giving him a sideways hug.

Soda smiled brightly at them, and joined the hug.

Two-Bit smiled and continued reading.

""**I think I like it better when the old man's hittin' me." Johnny sighed. "At least then I know he knows who I am. I walk in that house, and nobody says anything. I walk out, and nobody notices. At least you got Soda. I ain't got nobody." "Shoot," I said, startled out of my misery, "you got the whole gang. Dally didn't slug you tonight 'cause you're the pet. I mean, golly, Johnny, you got the whole gang." "It ain't the same as having you own folks care about you," Johnny said simply. "It just ain't the same.""**

"Now, I see why you two were such good buddies." Two-Bit said, thoughtfully.

"Were…" Pony muttered quietly.

Soda and Darry heard him, but they were the only ones, and they subtly squeezed his shoulders reassuringly.

"**I was beginning to relax and wonder if running away was such a great idea. I was sleepy and freezing to death and I wanted to be home in bed, safe and warm under the covers with Soda's arm across me. I decided I would go home and just not speak to Darry. It was my house as much as Darry's, and if he wanted to pretend I wasn't alive, that was just fine with me. He couldn't stop me from living in my own house."**

"I'm sorry." Darry said.

"Stop apologizing Darry, it happened. I forgave you a long time ago. Can you forgive yourself enough to move on?" Pony asked.

Darry thought and then nodded.

"When did you get so wise little brother?" Darry and Soda asked.

"Would you guys stop that! It's creepy…" Two-Bit complained.

They all laughed the tension and stress the chapter caused slowly evaporating.

""**Let's walk to the park and back. Then maybe I'll be cooled off enough to go home." "Okay," Johnny said easily. "Okay." Things gotta get better, I figured. They couldn't get worse. I was wrong."**

"Yay!" Two-Bit cheered. "

Yay? Things are gonna get worse according to the ending, and you're cheering?" Steve teased, as he hit Two-Bit with a pillow.

"Who's gonna read next?" Darry asked after he broke up the wrestling match between Steve and Two-Bit.

"How about we let the author read the next chapter?" Two-Bit suggested.

"No," Ponyboy said flatly. He knew what was in the next chapter. Steve, Soda, and Two-Bit all exchanged glances before breaking into a chant.

"Pone-eey! Pone-eey!" The chanted, before they were met with flying pillows from both Darry and Ponyboy.

"Fine! I'll read if y'all will just shut your traps!"

_**Lupelovell345: Hey! Sorry guys for the long update, we both have been busy with summer activities and school starting **_ _** Hopefully we will update sooner for the next chapter! Thank you to all the amazing reviewers, which are our inspiration to write the chapters. A special thank you to Today-Only-Happens-Once for their suggestions! Again remember to review!**_

_**Ginnyrules27: Wow! 71 reviews! I'm impressed that so many people like this story. Don't worry. We'll try to not take so long with the next chapter. Again, thanks to Today-Only-Happens-Once for supplying us with comment ideas. We'd never make it through without them. **_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

A/N: I do not own the Outsiders

"Okay." Pony groaned. He still couldn't believe he got roped into doing this. "Chapter Four."

"**The park was about two blocks square, with a fountain in the middle and a small swimming pool for the little kids. The pool was empty now in the fall, but the fountain was going merrily."**

"Why do I have a feeling that this fountain is going to be important later? I mean, Pony keeps mentioning it." Soda remarked.

"And he says he's dumb," Darry muttered under his breath.

"**Tall elm trees made the park shadowy and dark, and it would have been a good hangout, but we preferred our vacant lot and the Shepard outfit liked the alleys down by the tracks, so the park was left to lovers and little kids. Nobody was around at two-thirty in the morning, and it was a good place to relax and cool off. I couldn't have gotten much cooler without turning into a popsicle."**

"Okay. I know I told you to put on a jacket. Why didn't you?"

"I don't know. It was two years ago."

"How does Pony know where my gang likes to hang out? I mean, he's never hung out with us."

"Curly is one of my friends."

"**Johnny snapped up his jeans jacket and flipped up the collar. "Ain't you about to freeze to death, Pony?" "You ain't a'woofin'," I said, rubbing my bare arms between drags on my cigarette. I started to say something about the film of ice developing on the outer edges of the fountain when a sudden blast from a car horn made us both jump."**

The tension in the room grew. Everyone remembered the events from the last chapter, and knew that the Socs would try to get revenge.

"**The blue Mustang was circling the park slowly. Johnny swore under his breath, and I muttered, "What do they want? This is our territory. What are Socs doing this far east?" Johnny shook his head. "I don't know. But I bet they're looking for us. We picked up their girls." "Oh, glory," I said with a groan, "this is all I need to top off a perfect night.""**

Soda and Darry looked at their little brother. He seemed tense, but was trying to hide it. He failed at that. Soda could just tell by the way his fingers were tightening on the page of the book that something was bothering Pony, something he really didn't want the others to know about.

"**I took one last drag on my weed and ground the stub under my heel. "Want to run for it?" "It's too late now," Johnny said. "Here they come." Five Socs were coming straight at us, and from the way they were staggering I figured they were reeling pickled."**

"This is where you run, right?" Steve asked. "I mean, if they're drunk, they wouldn't be able to catch you? You are the fastest of the gang, car or no car."

Pony groaned, how could he have forgotten all the times he had to get away from Two-Bit when he was drunk? Everyone else, though, was so nervous that they didn't even notice the fact that Steve paid Pony a compliment that didn't insult him in some way.

"**That scared me. A cool deadly buff could sometimes shake them off, but not if they outnumbered you five to one and were drunk. Johnny's hand went to his back pocket and I remembered his switchblade. I wished for that broken bottle. I'd sure show them I could use it if I had to . Johnny was scared to death. I mean it. He was as white as a ghost and his eyes were wild-looking, like the eyes of any animal in a trap."**

Darry looked at his youngest brother, and two things came to light. The first thing was he would finally learn what really happened that night after Pony ran off, the second thing was that he found himself not wanting to know. If Pony didn't tell him straight off when he came home, it was either really bad or really embarrassing.

Soda's eyes widened a tad when Pony read the part about how he'd use that broken soda bottle. His baby brother must have been really scared; he'd never attempt to use a weapon otherwise.

"**We backed against the fountain and the Socs surrounded us. They smelled so heavily of whiskey and English Leather that I almost choked. I wished desperately that Darry and Soda would come along hunting for me. The four of us could handle them easily."**

Soda and Darry locked eyes for a minute, each one thinking the same as the other. _'We should have gone after him.'_

"Ummm? You guys okay?" Two-Bit asked. The three Curtis brothers seemed way too tense. Steve glared at him. It seemed that even Tim grasped the severity of what was going on.

"**But no one was around, and I knew that Johnny and I were going to have to fight it out alone. Johnny had a blank, tough look on his face—you'd have had to know him to see the panic in his eyes. I stared at the Socs coolly. Maybe they could scare us to death, but we'd never let them have the satisfaction of knowing it."**

"Dally'd be proud." Tim muttered. He felt kinda guilty for beating up Dallas, but the idiot did slash his tires.

"**It was Randy and Bob and three other Socs, and they recognized us. I knew Johnny recognized them; he was watching the moonlight glint off of Bob's rings with huge eyes."**

"Please, please," Soda begged. "Let me go pick a fight with one of those Socs."

"No Soda!"

"You're no fun."

"**"Hey, whatta ya know?" Bob said a little unsteadily, "here's the greasers that picked up our girls. Hey, greasers." "You're out of your territory," Johnny warned in a low voices. "You'd better watch it." Randy swore at us and they stepped in closer. Bob was eyeing Johnny. "Nup, pal, yer the ones who'd better watch it. Next time you want a broad, pick up yer own kind—dirt." I was getting mad. I was hating them enough to lose my head."**

"The NERVE of those little-" Two-Bit shouted, standing up.

"Two-Bit!" Ponyboy barked a warning. Two-Bit sat down reluctantly.

Actual growls could be heard from Steve, Soda and Tim.

"Soda, knock it off." Darry said, slapping his younger brother in the back of the head with a pillow.

"**"You know what a greaser is?" Bob asked. "White trash with long hair." I felt the blood draining from my face. I've been cussed out and sworn at, but nothin never hit me like that did. Johnnycake made a kind of gasp and his eyes were smoldering. "You know what a Soc is?" I said, my voice shaking with rage. "White trash with Mustangs and madras." And then, because I couldn't think of anything bad enough to call them, I spit at them."**

"Whoo!" Two-Bit hollered.

"Go Pony!" Soda screamed.

"Show them who's boss!" Steve talked loudly.

"**Bob shook his head, smiling slowly. "You could use a bath, greaser. And a good working over. And we've got all night to do it. Give the kid a bath, David." I ducked and tried to run for it, but the Soc caught my arm and twisted it behind my back, and shoved my face into the fountain."**

All the good natured frillolity that was in the room faded. The tension was tangible.

Darry looked at the book with wide eyes. He'd no idea how close he'd been to losing another member of his family, and at that time Pony thought Darry had hated him. Darry didn't know what he'd do if Pony had died that day.

"**I fought, but the hand at the back of my neck was strong and I had to hold my breath. I'm dying, I thought, and wondered what was happening to Johnny. I couldn't hold my breath any longer. I fought again desperately but only sucked in water. I'm drowning, I thought, they've gone too far… A red haze filled my mind and I slowly relaxed.** **The next thing I knew I was lying on the pavement beside the fountain, coughing water and gasping. I lay there weakly, breathing in air and spitting out water. "**

Soda moved over and sat next to Pony. He wrapped his arms around his younger brother protectively. Ponyboy squirmed, but Soda held him there. For once, he honestly didn't care if he didn't look tuff. He had just learned that his kid brother nearly died. He didn't care how tuff anyone was, something like that would make someone thankful for what they have.

Darry had his head in his hands, and no one was sure if he was crying or not. Frankly, Darry was too shocked to cry. He couldn't help but blame himself for this, as he reminded himself that it was him who drove him away that night, and ultimately into the Socs' grasp.

Tim was standing there, dumbfounded. He knew Socs could be rough, but not that much. Even most Socs had enough heart not to seriously try to kill a kid.

Two-Bit and Steve both stared at Ponyboy, never having known (for two years) that Ponyboy had been through much more than they ever suspected. More than anyone suspected.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Soda said quietly.

"It wasn't important," Pony mumbled, still trying to squirm free.

"Not important?" Darry asked, looking up. "Pony, you almost _died_."

"Almost," Ponyboy pointed out. "I didn't."

"You should've have told us," Soda said, releasing Pony. Ponyboy didn't respond. Instead he picked up his paper and kept reading.

"**The wind blasted through my soaked sweat shirt and dripping hair. My teeth chattered unceasingly and I couldn't stop them. I finally pushed myself up and leaned back on the fountain, the water dripping down on my face."**

"I guess the jacket would have been useless," Darry muttered. He looked at Soda, and what he saw frightened him. The carefree boy seemed, for once, to look all of his nineteen years. Serious, somber and worried. Then Darry remembered that Pony had been found a week later. _'Oh God. What happened?'_

"**Then I saw Johnny."**

"Why? WHAT'S WRONG WITH JOHNNY?"

"Two-Bit, I'm gonna kill you. I'm too young to go deaf." Pony muttered, as Two-Bit had screamed right in his ear. Everyone else, though, seemed ready to murder all the Socs that were there that night, even Darry.

"**He was sitting next to me, one elbow on his knee, and staring straight ahead. He was a strange greenish-white, and his eyes were huger than I'd ever seen them. "I killed him," he said slowly. "I killed that boy." Bob, the handsome Soc, was lying there in the moonlight, doubled up and still."**

"Wow, so Johnny had been the one to kill him." Tim muttered, in shock. Which could describe everyone besides Pony. They had all doubted that anyone as innocent as Johnny (innocent for a greaser, at least) could take another life. That was like Pony not dreaming or Two-Bit actually passing his classes.

"**A dark pool was growing from him, spreading slowly over the blue-white cement. I looked at Johnny's hand. He was clutching his switchblade, and it was dark to the hilt. My stomach gave a violent jump and my blood turned icy. "Johnny," I managed to say, fighting the dizziness, "I think I 'm gonna be sick.""**

Steve and Tim were also trying to keep the contents of their lunches inside their stomachs. Two-Bit, who might have been drunk this entire time, ran to the bathroom to retch. Darry closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose to try to keep the welling panic down. Soda, well, he was hugging Pony to death. Again.

"Soda, let our little brother go." Darry said, thankful for the distraction. "He needs air."

"Thanks Dar." Pony said after his (insane) older brother let go of him.

**"Go ahead," he said in the same steady voice. "I won't look at you."**

"Good friend." Tim said.

"Yeah, he was." Pony said softly, reminding everyone that the loss was still deep for Pony, and stopped commenting. Pony began to read.

"**I turned my head and was quietly sick for a minute. Then I leaned back and closed my eyes so I wouldn't see Bob lying there. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be…"**

"But it happened!"

"Two-Bit, have you lost control of your mouth?" Pony snapped. Then before anyone knew what happened, he dropped the book and ran out of the house.

"What just happened?" Tim asked.

"I really don't know." Darry replied, worried. It was still pouring outside and Pony had, once again, forgotten his jacket.

"I'll go get him." Steve offered. At everyone's looks, he shrugged. "Look, he's ready to kill Two-Bit right now. Darry and Soda could bring him back, but he'd just lock himself in his room again, and Tim, well, he just scares anyone he tries to cheer up."

"The man has a point." Tim said, smirking.

"I'll be back."

Steve grabbed his jacket and started looking for Ponyboy. He didn't have to look far. The kid was at the park, attempting to destroy his hands by fighting with a tree.

"Hey, kid." Steve sat down and just watched Pony.

"Hey, Steve." Pony said, once he'd calmed down enough to see that he was using a tree as a punching bag.

"So, why'd you run out on us?" Steve asked. For one thing, the sooner he knew the sooner he could get out of the rain. For another, he really thought Pony was enjoying himself.

"Two-Bit pissed me off."

"You know that's not the reason. If Two-Bit had really pissed you off, you'd just throw a pillow at him and call it a day. Or wrestle with him. What's going on in that head of yours?"

"I'm just—just scared, all right." Pony hated to admit it, to Steve of all people. "This is why I didn't want to read this chapter."

Steve thought about this for a minute. Then he realized that the kid had a point. Why would you want to relive your most traumatic experience with people who had no idea what went on that night? Why would you want to relive the actions that changed not only your life, but the life of your best friend? Steve tried to picture himself without Soda, and couldn't. He couldn't imagine what the kid must be going through.

"Okay, Pony." Steve got up and helped Pony up as well. "Here's our story. Two-Bit pissed you off. Plain and simple."

"Really?"

"Yeah, because admitting we got all emotional out here is not good for our reps."

"Race ya."

"No fair." Steve shouted, as Pony had started before Steve had agreed. He caught up to the speed demon just as they were approaching the Curtis's front porch.

"Put a dry shirt on, Pon." Darry called out just as Pony stepped in the house.

"So, Steve," Two-Bit began, "Why did the kid run out on us?"

"You pissed him off."

Any further comments were prevented by Pony's reemergence into the living room. Steve was relieved to see that he had managed to bandage his hands.

"Shall we continue?"

** "You really killed him, huh, Johnny?" "Yeah." His voice quavered slightly. "I had to. They were drowning you, Pony. They might have killed you. And they had a blade… they were going to beat me up…" **

"No good, lousy Socs." Soda growled.

"Pepsi, cool it."

"No, I want to go and have it out with the Socs."

"You got your revenge by bashing in the heads of some of the Socs at the rumble." Pony pointed out.

"Still, someone needs to teach the Socs that they can't pick on people smaller than them."

"That's like the Socs not having money. It's never gonna happen." Tim remarked.

"**"Like…"—I swallowed—"like they did before?" Johnny was quiet for a minute. "Yeah," he said, "like they did before." Johnny told me what had happened. "They ran when I stabbed him. They all ran…" A panic was rising in me as I listened to Johnny's quiet voice go on and on. "Johnny!" I nearly screamed. "What are we gonna do? They put you in the electric chair for killing people!""**

"Err, Pon? You might want to speak up." Soda mentioned. "We couldn't hear any of that."

Darry glanced at his youngest brother with concern. Pony was never a shy person, and never minded reading out loud (How do you think he learned to read? Magic?).

"I heard it," Two-Bit said, with a smug grin on his face. It faded when he saw all the eyes on him. "The no-good Socs would have jumped Johnnycake like they did before if Johnny hadn't stabbed the Soc that was holding Pony under the water. Pony here had a little panic attack."

"Oh."

Pony, who didn't want anyone asking him if he was okay, continued to read.

"**I was shaking. I want a cigarette. I want a cigarette. I want a cigarette. We had smoked our last pack. "I'm scared, Johnny. What are we gonna do?" Johnny jumped up and dragged me up by my sweatshirt. He shook me. "Calm down, Ponyboy. Get ahold of yourself." I hadn't realized I was screaming."**

"Shut it, Two-Bit." Pony growled at his laughing friend.

"Why should I?"

Pony launched himself at the twenty year old, and threw everyone (except Tim) into an extreme case of Déjà-vu. Darry, with the help of Tim, managed to pry the two apart.

"Man, Pony." Two-Bit said, panting and rubbing his arm where Pony had kicked him. "You should go out for wrestling."

"I'll do that when you graduate, Two-Bit."

"Great, now I want a cigarette." Steve said, oblivious to the conversation going on. Everyone else burst out laughing at him.

"**I shook loose. "Okay," I said, "I'm okay now." Johnny looked around, slapping his pockets nervously. "We gotta get outa here. Get somewhere. Run away. The police'll be here soon" I was trembling, and it wasn't all from cold. But Johnny, except for the fact that his hands were twitching, looked as cool as Darry ever had."**

Steve started cracking up.

"What is so funny?" Pony asked.

"Of all the, now let's be honest here, terrible things you've said about Darry since the beginning of this, you compliment him during a time like this," Steve said.

The gang smiled, and Ponyboy continued reading.

""**We'll need money. And maybe a gun. And a plan." Money. Maybe a gun? A plan. Where in the world would we get these things? "Dally," Johnny said with finality. "Dally'll get us outa here." I heaved a sigh. Why hadn't I thought of that? But I never thought of anything. Dallas Winston could do anything. "Where can we find him?" "I think at Buck Merril's place. There's a party over there tonight. Dally said somethin' about it this afternoon." Buck Merril was Dally's rodeo partner. He was the one who'd got Dally the job as a jockey for the Slash J. Buck raised a few quarter horses, and made most of his money on fixed races and a little bootlegging. I was under strict orders from both Darry and Soda not to get caught within ten miles of his place, which was dandy with me."**

"And for a good reason, Ponyboy!" Darry and Soda both scolded.

Ponyboy smiled and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Trust me, I ain't ever goin there again," Ponyboy said. Leaving out the fact that he didn't want to be there the first time. He kept reading.

"**I didn't like Buck Merril. He was a tall lanky cowboy with blond hair and buckteeth. Or he used to be bucktoothed before he had the front two teeth knocked out in a fight. He was out of it. He dug Hank Williams—how gross can you get?"**

The gang couldn't help but laugh despite the seriousness of the situation.

"**Buck answered the door when we knocked, and a roar of cheap music came with him. The clinking of glasses, loud, rough laughter and female giggles and Hank Williams. It scraped on my raw nerves like sandpaper."**

"Note to self: Avoid Buck's place when panicking." Two-Bit muttered under his breath. Unfortunately for him, Pony heard him. Luckily, Soda also heard him and therefore smacked him over the head before Pony could attack him again.

"**A can in one hand, Buck glared down at us. "Whatta ya want?" "Dally!" Johnny gulped, looking back over his shoulder. "We gotta see Dally." "He's busy," Buck snapped, and someone in his living room yelled "A-ha!" and then "Yee-ha", and the sound of it almost made my nerves snap."**

"You notice way too much, Pon." Soda said after a few minutes. It had taken him those minutes to get the fact that his little brother was disobeying him and was talking to Buck.

"Yeah, yeah. Get yer jollies." Pony muttered. He was tired of everyone pointing out how much he noticed. _'I mean, we've only read four chapters. How much will we have ta read before they realize I observe a lot?'_

""**Tell him it's Pony and Johnny," I commanded. I knew Buck, and the only way you could get anything from him was to bully him. I guess that's why Dallas could handle him so easily, although Buck was in his mid-twenties and Dally was seventeen."**

"Question." Two-Bit said. "If you're not allowed to go within ten feet of Buck's place, how do you know so much about him?"

"Answer." Pony said, mimicking the elder greaser. "To quote every person in this room, I notice way too much. Also, he was Dally's partner at rodeos. When Soda used to race, I would see him there. Dally or someone else would be bullying him and he'd do what they wanted."

"Oh."

""**He'll come." Buck glared at me for a second, then stumbled off. He was pretty well crocked, which made me apprehensive. If Dally was drunk and in a dangerous mood…"**

"Dun, dun, dun!" Two-Bit and Steve sang under their breath.

"You're both idiots." Darry flat out stated.

"That hurts, Darry."

"Good."

"If I can continue to read?" Pony injected himself into the conversation. "The sooner I finish, the sooner we can grab some lunch." That got the attention of every greaser and soon the room was silent.

"**He appeared in a few minutes, clad only in a pair of low-cut blue jeans, scratching the hair on his chest. He was sober enough, and that surprised me. Maybe he hadn't been there long."**

"You wish kid." Tim said with a smirk. "He was there since five."

"You know this how?" Steve asked.

"Where do you think the fight happened?"

"PEOPLE!" Pony shouted. He was really getting annoyed with the constant interruptions.

""**Okay, kids, whatta ya need me for?" as Johnny told him the story, I studied Dally, trying to figure out what there was about this tough-looking hood that a girl like Cherry Valance could love."**

"Pony, are you jealous?" Soda asked, his face showing his disbelief.

"No."

"I think you are." Steve said, getting in to the game. Seeing as Pony was the last member of the gang to get into girls, the rest of them were permitted in their mocking.

"Prove it."

"**Towheaded and shifty-eyed, Dally was anything but handsome." **

Pony felt his ears turn the reddest they had ever been. The other members of the room started laughing.

"Looks like we found our proof." Two-Bit said, laughing his head off.

"That proves nothing." Pony stubbornly tried to deny that he had actually been jealous of Dallas Winston.

"Proves everything, little man." Darry said, smirking.

"**Yet in his hard face there was character, pride and a savaged defiance of the world. He could never love Cherry Valance back. It would be a miracle if Dally loved anything."**

"Stupid, stupid." Pony muttered under his breath.

"**The fight for self-preservation had hardened him beyond caring. He didn't bat an eye when Johnny told him what had happened, only grinned and said "Good for you" when Johnny told how he had knifed the Soc. Finally Johnny finished. "We figured you could get us out if anyone could. I'm sorry we got you away from the party.""**

"Knowing Dally, he was probably in the bedroom." Steve said, smirking.

""**Oh, shoot, kid"—Dally glanced contemptuously over his shoulder—"I was in the bedroom.""**

"See."

"Yeah, yeah. You're a genius."

"**He suddenly stared at me. "Glory, but your ears can get red, Ponyboy." ****I was remembering what usually went on in the bedroom at Buck's parties,"**

The whole room fell into fits of hysterical laughter, even Darry. Ponyboy blushed beet red and hurried on.

"**Then Dally grinned in amused realization. "It wasn't anything like that, kid. I was asleep, or tryin' to be, with all this racked. Hank Williams"—he rolled his eyes and added a few adjectives after 'Hank Williams.'"**

"How many times had I told him—"

"Not to curse in front of me, I know." Pony interrupted Darry before he could get into a full rant.

""**Me and Shepard had a run-in and I cracked some ribs. I just needed a place to lay over." He rubbed his side ruefully. "Ol' Tim sure can't pack a punch. He won't be able to see outa one eye for a week.""**

"Ain't that the truth," Tim grinned. "Dal's got a mean right hook."

"**He looked us over and sighed. "Well, wait a sec and I'll see what I can do about this mess." Then he took a good look at me. "Ponyboy, are you wet?" "Y-y-yes-s," I stammered through chattering teeth. "Glory hallelujah!" He opened the screen door and pulled me in, motioning for Johnny to follow. "You'll die of pneumonia 'fore the cops ever get you.""**

"He had to say that." Pony muttered before Soda squeezed him again.

"Soda, let the kid go." Steve chuckled, but anyone could see that he was nervous. There was a lot about the kid that he didn't know.

"**He half-dragged me into an empty bedroom, swearing at me all the way. "Get that sweat shirt off." He threw a towel at me. "Dry off and wait here. At least Johnny's got his jeans jacket. You out to know better than to run away in just a sweat shirt and a wet one at that. Don't you ever use your head?" He sounded so much like Darry that I stared at him."**

"First Johnny, now Dally. Man, who are you going to compare to Darry next?" Soda said, laughing. Steve joined in. Darry just rolled his eyes, and whacked both of them with a pillow.

"Shut up you two."

"**He didn't notice, and left us sitting on the bed. Johnny laid back on it. "Wish I had me a weed." My knees were shaking as I finished drying off, sitting there in my jeans. Dally appeared after a minute. He carefully shut the door. "Here"—he handed us a gun and a roll of bills—"the gun's loaded. For Pete's sake, Johnny, don't point the thing at me. Here's fifty bucks. That's all I could get out of Merril tonight. He's blowin' his loot from the last race.""**

"If that boy wasn't cold in the ground, I'd—"

"Kill him myself." Soda finished for his elder brother. Here they had been worrying for Pony and Dally knew where he was the whole time.

"**You might have thought it was Dally who fixed those races for Buck, being a jockey and all, but it wasn't. The last guy to suggest it lost three teeth. It's the truth. Dally rode the ponies honestly and did his best to win. It was the only thing Dally did honestly. "Pony, do Darry and Sodapop know about this?" I shook my head. Dally sighed. "Boy howdy, I ain't itchin' to be the one to tell Darry and get my head busted.""**

"Please, I'd wait until after I had my little brother back home before killing him." Darry said, rolling his eyes.

""**Then don't tell him." I said. I hated to worry Sodapop, and would have liked to let him know I had gotten this far okay, but I didn't care if Darry worried himself gray-headed."**

Darry got up. He couldn't hear anymore. He didn't want to hear how his youngest brother hated him, and thought that he had hated Ponyboy. He didn't want to hear about his youngest brother almost drowning, or running away because Johnny had saved his life. He stepped outside, on the back porch. He hadn't noticed Soda following him.

"Darry, what are you doing?" he asked. "Are you beating yourself up for something that happened two years ago?"

"If only it were that simple Soda." He murmured.

"Look, Pony should have told us about this, but I'm sure it's just his imagination when he talks about you."

"Really? Then why do I feel so miserable when he says it? How do I know that some of those feelings aren't still there?" Darry asked his little brother. "You don't have to worry about that. I've heard nothing but good things from him about you."

"Darry."

Both of the elder Curtis brothers turned around to see Pony standing there.

"Dar, look. I'm sorry about what I wrote. Come inside and hear the rest. If not for me then because you and Soda are getting soping wet and probably going to catch a cold. Oh, and because Steve and Tim are fighting."

Those were the magic words. Both Soda and Darry ran back inside the house to see that no one had been fighting.

"Pay up, Tim." Steve smirked.

"Smartass."

"**I was too tired to tell myself I was being mean and unreasonable. I convinced myself it wouldn't be fair to make Dally tell him. Darry would beat him to death for giving us the money and the gun and getting us out of town."**

"You bet I would," Darry mumbled.

"But you didn't." Two-Bit stated.

"I sure as anything wanted to," Darry finished.

"**Here!" Dally handed me a shirt about sixty-million sizes too big. "It's Buck's—you and him ain't exactly the same size but it's dry." He handed me his worn brown leather jacket with the yellow sheep's wool lining. "It'll get cold where you're going, but you can't risk being loaded down with blankets." I started buttoning up the shirt. It about swallowed me.**

Some chuckles could be heard.

""**Hop the three-fifteen freight to Windrixville," Dally instructed. "There's an old abandoned church on top of Jay Mountain. There's a pump in back so don't worry about water. Buy a week's supply of food as soon as you get there—this morning, before the story gets out, and then don't so much as stick your noses out the door. I'll be up there as soon as I think it's clear. Man, I thought New York was the only place I could get mixed up in a murder rap," At the word 'murder,' Johnny made a small noise in the back of his throat and shuddered."**

Pony shuddered as he remembered the week in the church. It wasn't the time of his life, if you know what I mean.

"**Dally walked us to the back door, turning off the porch light before we stepped out. "Git goin'!" He messed up Johnny's hair "Take care kid," he said softly. "Sure, Dally, thanks." And we ran into darkness. "**

"He's so lucky I didn't find out about this." Dally muttered.

"**We crouched in the weeds beside the railroad tracks, listening to the whistle grow louder. The train slowed to a screaming halt. "Now," whispered Johnny. We ran and pulled ourselves into an open boxcar. We pressed against the side, trying to hold our breath while we listened to the railroad workers walk up and down outside. One poked his head inside, and we froze."**

The tension was palpable in the room.

"**But he didn't see us, and the boxcar fatted as the train started up. "The first stop'll be Windrixville," Johnny said, laying the gun down gingerly. He shook his head. "I don't see why he gave me this. I couldn't shoot anybody." Then for the first time, really, I realized what we were in for. Johnny had killed someone. Quiet soft-spoken little Johnny who wouldn't hurt a living thing on purpose had taken a human life. We were really running away, with the police after us for murder and a loaded gun by our side. I wished we'd asked Dally for a pack of cigarettes…"**

"Really, Pony?" Soda said, smirking.

"I was nervous."

"**I stretched out and used Johnny's legs for a pillow. Curling up, I was thankful for Dally's jacket. It was too big, but it was war,. Not even the rattling of the train could keep me awake and I went to sleep in a hoodlum's jacket, with a gun lying next to my hand. I was hardly awake when Johnny and I leaped off the train into a meadow. Now until I landed in the dew and got a wet shock did I realize what I was doing. Johnny must have woke me up and told me to jump, but I didn't remember it. We lay in the tall weeds and damp grass, breathing heavily."**

"Yay! They made it!" Two-Bit cheered, and for the first time there were no pillows being thrown in his direction.

"**The dawn was coming. It was lightening the sky in the east and a ray of gold touched the hills. The clouds were pink and meadowlarks were singing. This is the country, I though, half asleep. My dream's come true and I'm in the country."**

Soda and Darry looked at their little brother. This book was revealing things that they should have already known. But it seemed there had been more than meet the eye with Pony.

"Maybe sometime we could go up there?" Darry suggested.

"Really?" Pony asked.

"The boss has been yelling at me to take some time off." Darry shrugged. "So, sure."

""**Blast it Ponyboy"—Johnny was rubbing his legs—"you must have put my legs to sleep. I can't even stand up. I barely got off that train." "I'm sorry. Why didn't you wake me up?" "That's okay. I didn't want to wake you until I had to." "Now how do we find Jay Mountain?" I asked Johnny. I was still groggy with sleep and wanted to sleep forever right there in the dew and the dawn."**

"Should we have warned Johnny that you never were and never will be a morning person?" Soda asked. Pony whacked his elder brother with a pillow.

""**Go ask someone. The story won't be in the paper yet. Make like a farm boy taking a walk or something." " I don't look like a farm boy." I said. I suddenly thought of my long hair, combed back, and the slouching stride I used from habit."**

"Why do you walk like that Pony?" Soda asked.

"Habit." Pony shrugged.

"**I looked at Johnny. He didn't look like any farm boy to me. He still reminded me of a lost puppy who had been kicked too often, but for the first time I saw him as a stranger might see him. He looked hard and tough, because of his black T-shirt and his blue jeans and jacket, and because his hair was heavily greased and so long. I saw how his hair curled behind his ears and I thought: We both need a haircut and some decent clothes."**

"Right. And where were you going to get those?" Steve smirked as Pony flushed.

"**I looked down at my worn faded blue jeans, my too-big shirt and Dally's worn out jacket. They'll know we were hood the minute they see us, I thought. "I'll have to stay here," Johnny said, rubbing his legs. "You go down the road and ask the first person you see where Jay Mountain is." He winced at the pain in his legs. "Then come back. And for Pete's sake, run a comb through your hair and quit slouching down like a thug." So Johnny had noticed it too. I pulled a comb from my back pocket and combed my hair carefully. "I guess I look okay now, huh Johnny?" He was studying me."**

"Was there a test?" Two-Bit asked.

""**You know, you look an awful lot like Sodapop, the way you've got your hair and everything. I mean, except your eyes are green." "They ain't green, they're gray." I said, reddening. "And I look about as much like Soda as you do." I got to my feet. "He's good-looking." "Shoot," Johnny said with a grin," you are too.""**

"Okay." Steve said. "One thing I have to know. What is the deal with you and green eyes?"

"I don't know. I just don't like them."

Soda leaned over to Darry. "You know our little brother really is good looking. Think we should give him the talk soon?"

"I will. You'll turn it into a wild good time. It has to be awkward." Darry smirked.

**I climbed over the barbed wire fence without saying anything else. I could hear Johnny laughing at me, but I didn't care. I went strolling down the red dirt road, hoping my natural color would come back before I met anyone. I thought what Darry and Sodapop are doing now, I thought, yawning. Soda had the whole bed to himself for once. I bet Darry's sorry he ever hit me. He'll really get worried when he finds out Johnny and I killed that Soc. Then, for a moment, I pictured Sodapop's face when he heard about it.**

With every word, Darry felt as if he was getting slapped in the face with something heavy. Soda saw the look on his brother's face, and gripped his shoulder.

**I wish I were home, I thought absently, I wish I were home and still in bed. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm just dreaming. It was only last night that Dally and I had sat down behind those girls at the Nightly Double. Glory, I thought with a bewildering feeling of being rushed, things are happening too quick. Too fast. I figured I couldn't get into any worse trouble than murder. Johnny and I would be hiding for the rest of our lives. Nobody but Dally would know where we were, and he couldn't tell anyone because he'd get jailed again for giving us that gun. If Johnny got caught, they'd give him the electric chair, and if they caught me, I'd be sent to a reformatory. I'd heard about reformatories from Curly Shepard and I didn't' want to go to one at all. So we'd have to be hermits for the rest of our lives and never see anyone but Dally. Maybe I'd never see Darry or Soda again. Or even Two-Bit or Steve.**

"And you'd die without our brillance." Two-Bit cried.

"Actually, I'd probably die of boredom." Pony smirked.

**I was in the country, but I knew I wasn't going to enjoy it as much as I thought I would. There are worse things than being a greaser. I met a sunburned farmer driving a tractor down the road. I waved at him and he stopped. "Could you tell me where Jay Mountain is?" I asked as politely as I could. He pointed on down the road. "Follow this road to that big hill over there. That's it. Taking a walk?" "Yessir." I managed to look sheepish. "We're playing army and I'm supposed to report to headquarters there." I can lie so easily that it spooks me sometimes—Soda says it comes from reading so much. But then, Two-Bit lies all the time too, and he never opens a book.**

"And proud of it." Two-Bit said, puffing out his chest.

"Of course you are." Pony muttered.

"**Boys will be boys," the farmer said with a grin, and I thought dully that he sounded as corn-poney as Hank Williams. He went on and I walked back to where Johnny was waiting. We climbed up the road to the church, although it was a lot farther away than it looked. The road got steeper with every step. I was feeling kind of drunk**

Darry raised an eyebrow.

"Be patient." Pony muttered.

—**I always do when I get too sleepy—and my legs got heavier and heavier. I guess Johnny was sleepier than I was—he had stayed awake on the train to make sure we got off at the right place. It took us about forty five minutes to get there. We climbed in a back window It was a small church, real old and spooky and spiderwebby. It gave me the creeps.**

"Sounds lovely." Tim smirked.

"Interesting décor." Steve snorted.

**I'd been in church before. I used to go all the time, even after Mom and Dad were gone. Then one Sunday I talked Soda into coming with Johnny and me. He didn't want to come unless Steve did, and Two-Bit decided he might as well come too. Dally was sleeping off a hangover and Darry was working. **

"Of course he was." Soda and Steve sighed.

"Someone has too." Darry shot back.

**When Johnny and I went, we sat int the back, trying to get something out of the sermon and avoiding the people, because we weren't dressed so sharp most of the time. Nobody seemed to mind, and Johnny and I really liked to go. But that day…well, Soda can't sit still long enough to enjoy a moive, much less a sermon. It wasn't long before he and Steve and Two-Bit were throwing paper wands at each other and clowning, and finally Steve dropped a hymn book with a bang—accidentally of course. Everyone in the place turned to look at us, and Johnny and I nearly crawled under the pews. And then Two-Bit waved at them.**

"Way to go, idiots." Darry said jokingly to Two-Bit, Steve, and Sodapop. "Since when've you got an interest in church?" he asked his kid brother.

"I dunno," Pony said with a shrug.

"Well, if you're still interested, I could take ya," Darry offered.

"Thanks, Dar," Pony responded, smiling. He continued reading.

"**I hadn't been to church since. But this church gave me a kind of creepy feeling. What do you call it? Premonition? I flopped down on the floor—and immediately decided not to do anymore flopping. That floor was stone and hard. Johnny stretched out beside me, resting his head on his arm. I started to say something to him, but I went to sleep before I could get the words out of my mouth. But Johnny didn't notice. He was asleep too."**

"That's it." Pony said, grinning.

"Food!" Two-Bit cried and they made their way into the kitchen for lunch. After they ate, they sat back down in the living room where Pony passed the book to Soda.

"Your turn, big brother." Pony said smirking.

A/N: Don't hate me! I know I haven't updated in a while, but it takes time to write this, time I don't really have at the moment. So once a week updates aren't really going to happen. Review! Oh, and a shout out to Today-Only-Happens-Once for more comment ideas. If anyone has ideas on what the gang should comment on just send them in a PM.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

A/N: I do not own the Outsiders.

"Alright. Chapter five." Soda said, slightly nervous about what the book would reveal next.

"**I woke up late in the afternoon. For a second I didn't know where I was. You know how it is, when you wake up in a strange place and wonder where in the world you are, until memory comes rushing over you like a wave."**

"And that's why you're not a morning person."

"Shut it Two-Bit."

"**I half convinced myself that I had dreamed everything that had happened the night before. I'm really home in bed, I thought. It's late and both Darry and Sodapop are up. Darry's cooking breakfast, and in a minute he and Soda will come in and drag me out of bed and wrestle me down and tickle me until I think I'll die if they don't stop. It's me and Soda's turn to do the dishes after we eat, and then we'll all go outside and play football. Johnny and Two-Bit and I will get Darry on our side, since Johnny and I are so small and Darry's the best player."**

"So like this?" Darry reached over and began to tickle his youngest brother. Soda set the book down and helped out a bit.

"Uncle!"

"Alright."

They missed the small look that had passed between Two-Bit and Steve. It was simple: _Thank God Pony's not bashing Darry anymore_.

"**It'll go like the usual weekend morning. I tried telling myself that while I lay on the cold rock floor, wrapped up in Dally's jacket and listening to the wind rushing through the tree's dry leaves outside. Finally I quit pretending and pushed myself up. I was stiff and sore from sleeping on that rock floor, but I had never slept so soundly."**

Soda paused there and looked at his little brother. For as long as he could remember, Pony always had nighmares.

"What Soda?" Pony asked, as he noticed him staring at him.

"I'm not sleeping on a stone floor for you to get a good night's sleep."

"Good. I'm not asking you to."

"**I was still groggy. I pushed off Johnny's jeans jacket, which had somehow got thrown across me, and blinked, scratching my head. It was awful quiet, with just the sound of the rushing wind in the trees. Suddenly, I realized that Johnny wasn't there. "Johnny?" I called loudly, and that old wooden church echoed me, **_**onny, onny**_**,…I looked around wildly, almost panic-stricken, but then caught sight of some crooked lettering written in the dust of the floor. Went to get supplies. Be back soon. J.C. I sighed, and went to the pump to get a drink. The water from it was like liquid ice and it tasted funny, but it was water. I splashed some on my face and that woke me up pretty quick."**

"Of course it did." Steve muttered. He remembered some of the conversations he had with the kid before and after he'd taken a shower. The kid was easier to talk to when awake, that's all Steve had to say.

**I wiped my face off on Johnny's jacked and sat down on the back steps. The hill the church was on dropped off suddenly about twenty feet from the back door and you could see for miles and miles. It was like sitting on the top of the world. When you haven't got anything to do, you remember things in spite of yourself. I could remember every detail of the whole night, but it had the unreal quality of a dream. It seemed much longer than twenty-four hours since Johnny and I had met Dally at the corner of Pickett and Sutton.**

"Wouldn't it be less? Seeing as it wasn't that evening yet?" Two-Bit asked, and then ducked. When he didn't feel the fluffy goodness of the pillows, he looked up to see everyone staring at him.

"What?"

"Dude, you made sense!" Soda said, getting a laugh out of everyone.

"**Maybe it was. Maybe Johnny had been gone a whole week and I had just slept. Maybe he had already been worked over by the fuzz and was waiting to get the electric chair since he wouldn't tell where I was. Maybe Dally had been killed in a car wreck or something and no one would ever know where I was and I'd just die up here, alone, and turn into a skeleton. My over-active imagination was running away with me again. Sweat ran down my face and back, and I was trembling. My head swam, and I leaned back and closed my eyes. I guess it was partly delayed shock. Finally my stomach calmed down and I relaxed a little, hoping Johnny would remember cigarettes."**

"Pony, if you become an author," Darry said, "leave out any imagination. It might be a little too nerve wracking."

"Yeah, yeah. Everyone's a comedian." Pony grumbled.

"**I was scared, sitting there by myself. I heard someone coming up through the dead leaves toward the back of the church, and I ducked inside the door. Then I heard a whistle, long and low, ending in a sudden high note. I knew that whistle well enough. It was used by us and the Shepard gang for "Who's there?" I returned it carefully, and darted out the door so fast that I fell off the steps and sprawled flat under Johnny's nose. I propped myself on my elbows and grinned up at him. "Hey, Johnny. Fancy meetin' you here." He looked down at me over a big package.**

Steve, Two-Bit and Tim took one look at Pony and burst out laughing.

"Oh get your mind out of the gutter." Darry said, slapping Two-Bit over the head while pelting a pillow at the other two.

"**I swear, Ponyboy, you're getting' to act more like Two-Bit every day.""**

"And that's a bad thing?" Two-Bit asked.

"Yes." Almost everyone else stated.

"**I tried unsuccessfully to cock up an eyebrow. "Who's acting?""**

"Hey! There is only one Two-Bit Mathews!"

"Sure, Two-Bit."

"Whatever you say."

"**I rolled over and sprang up, happy that someone was there. "What'd you get?" "Come on inside. Dally told us to stay inside." We went in. Johnny dusted off a table with his jacket and stated taking things out of the sack and lining them neatly "A week's supply of baloney, two loaves of bread, a box of matches…" Johnny went on. I got tired of watching him do it all, so I started digging into the sack myself. "Whee!" I sat down on a dusty chair and stared. "A paperback copy of **_**Gone with the Wind**_**! How'd you know I always wanted one?""**

"Because it's you and it was a book?" Steve asked.

"Shut it Randle."

"**Johnny reddened. "I remembered you sayin' something about it once. And me and you went to see that movie, 'member? I thought you could maybe read it out loud and help kill time or something." "Gee, thanks." I put the book down reluctantly. I wanted to start it right then. "Peroxide? A deck of cards…" Suddenly I realized something. "Johnny you ain't thinking of…" Johnny sat down and pulled out his knife. "We're gonna cut our hair, and you're gonna bleach yours." He looked at the ground carefully. "They'll have our descriptions in the paper. We can't fit 'em.""**

"Smart." Darry said.

"Stupid" Soda interjected.

"But smart." Pony finished.

""**Oh, no!" My hand flew to my hair. "No, Johnny, not my hair!""**

Steve burst out in laughter. "You know how girlish you just sounded?"

"What if it were you?" Pony asked amid the gall of laughter.

That shut them up nice and good.

"**It was my prided. It was long and silky, just like Soda's, only a little redder. Our hair was tuff—we didn't have to use much grease on it. Out hair labeled us greasers, too—it was our trademark. The one thing we were proud of. Maybe we couldn't have Corvairs or madras shirts, but we could have hair. "We'd have to anyway if we got caught. You know the first thing the judge does is make you get a haircut." " I don't see why," I said sourly. "Dally could just as easily mug somebody with short hair.""**

"So true." Two-Bit muttered.

""**I don't know either—it's just a way of trying to break us. They can't really do anything to guys like Curly Shepard of Tim; they've had about everything done to them. And they can't take anything away from them because they don't have anything in the first place. So they cut their hair." I looked at Johnny imploringly. Johnny sighed. "I'm gonna cut mine too, and wash the grease out, but I can't bleach it. I'm too dark-skinned to look okay blond. Oh, come on, Ponyboy," he pleaded. "It'll grow back." "Okay," I said, wide-eyed. "Get it over with.""**

"You, dear sir," Two-Bit said with a look of shock on his face.

"Are a good friend." Steve finished. No one else there would have done that.

"**Johnny flipped out the razor-edge of his switch, took hold of my hair, and started sawing on it. I shuddered. "Not too short," I begged. "Johnny, please…" Finally it was over with. My hair looked funny, scattered over the floor in tufts. "It's lighter than I thought it was," I said, examining it. "Can I see what I look like now?" "No," Johnny said slowly, staring at me. "We gotta bleach it first." After I'd sat in the sun for fifteen minutes to dry the bleach, Johnny let me look in the old cracked mirror we'd found in a closet. I did a double take. My hair was even lighter than Sodapop's. I'd never combed it back to the side like that. It just didn't look like me. It made me younger, and scareder too. Boy howdy, I though, this really makes me look tuff."**

"No it doesn't." Two-Bit said, confused.

"Sarcasm goes right over your head doesn't it?" Steve asked.

"Yep."

"**I look like a blasted pansy. I was miserable. Johnny handed me the knife. He looked scared too. "Cut the front and thin out the rest. I'll comb it back after I wash it." "Johnny," I said tiredly, "you can't wash your hair in that freezing water in this weather. You'll get a cold." He only shrugged. "Go ahead and cut it." I did the best I could. He went ahead and washed it anyway, using the bar of soap he'd bought. I was glad I had had to run away with him instead of with Two-Bit or Steve or Dally. That would be one thing they'd never think of—soap. I gave him Dally's jacket to wrap up in, and he sat shivering in the sunlight on the back steps, leaning against the door, combing his hair back. It was the first time I could see that he had eyebrows. His forehead was whiter where his bangs had been; it would have been funny if we hadn't been so scared. He was still shivering with cold." **

"That's not good." Darry looked grim. "If you two had gotten sick, it might have been worse. No one but Dally knew where you were but you had no phone to reach him with."

""**I guess, " he said weakly, "I guess we're disguised." I leaned back next to him sullenly. "I guess so." "Oh shoot," Johnny said with fake cheerfulness, "it's just hair." "Shoot nothing," I snapped. "It took me along time to get that hair just the way I wanted it. And besides, this just ain't us. It's like being in a Halloween costume we can't get out of." "Well, we got to get used to it," Johnny said with finality. "We're in big trouble and it's our looks or us.""**

"Could someone tell me what the point of that was?" Tim asked. "Dally said to not go outside, and he wouldn't have picked a place for you two to hide if there were a ton of people there. Was Johnny going to throw a party or something?"

"I guess it was so we could feel safer, I dunno."

"**I started eating a candy bar. "I'm still tired," I said. To my surprise, the ground blurred and I felt tears running down my cheeks. I brushed them off hurriedly. Johnny looked as miserable as I felt. "I'm sorry I cut your hair off Ponyboy." "Oh it ain't that," I said between bites of chocolate. "I mean, not all of it. I'm just a little spooky. I really don't know what's the matter. I'm just mixed up." "I know," Johnny said through chattering teeth as we went inside. "Things have been happening so fast…" I put my arm across his shoulders to warm him up. "Two-Bit shoulda been in that little one-horse store. Man, we're in the middle of nowhere, the nearest house is two miles away Things were layin' right open, just waitin' for somebody slick like Two-Bit to come and pick 'em up. He coulda walked out with half the store.""**

"Now there's a complement."

"Your ego's bigger than your sideburns. I think you can live without one or two adorations of your illegal talent."

"**He leaned back beside me, and I could feel him trembling. "Good ol' Two-Bit," he said in a quavering voice. He must have been as homesick as I was. "Remember how he was wisecrakin' last night?" I said. "Last night...just last night we were walkin' Cherry and Marcia over to Two-Bit's. Just last night we were layin' in the lot, looking up at the stars and dreaming…" "Stop it!" Johnny gasped from between clenched teeth. "Shut up about last night! I killed a kid last night. He couldn't of been over seventeen or eighteen, and I killed him. How'd you like to live with that?"**

"But it was self-defense!" Soda cried. "It wasn't murder."

"Beside, Johnny probably did the Soc a favor. Better to die on a greaser's blade than by a grenade halfway around the world." Steve muttered.

"There is no good way to die, Steve." Pony said, but even he felt nervous talking about the war. It was a taboo subject; if they didn't talk about it, it didn't exist. Simple.

"**He was crying. I held him like Soda had held him the day we found him lying in the lot. "I didn't mean to," he finally blurted out, "but they were drownin' you and I was so cared…" He was quiet for minute. "There sure is a lot of blood in people." He got up suddenly and began pacing back and forth, slapping his pockets. "Whatta we gonna do?" I was crying by then. It was getting dark and I was cold and lonesome. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, but the tears came anyway. "This is my fault," Johnny said in a miserable voice. He had stopped crying when I started. "For bringin' a little thirteen-year-old kid along. You ought to go home. You can't get into any trouble. You didn't kill him.""**

"Out of complete and utter curiosity, why didn't you listen to him?" Steve asked.

"You'll see."

""**No!""**

"Glory, Soda!" Darry said, rubbing his ears. "You didn't have to shout."

"But I wanted to."

"**I screamed at him. "I'm fourteen! I've been fourteen for a month! And I'm in it as much as you are. I'll stop crying in a minute…I can't help it." He slumped down beside me. "I didn't mean it like that Ponyboy. Don't cry, Pony, we'll be okay. Don't cry…" I leaned against him and bawled until I went to sleep. I woke up late that night. Johnny was resting against the wall and I was asleep on his shoulder. "Johnny?" I yawned. "You awake?" I was warm and sleepy. "Yeah," he said quietly. "We ain't gonna cry no more, are we?" "Nope. We're all cried out now. We're gettin' used to the idea. We're gonna be okay now." "That's what I thought." I said drowsily. Then for the first time since Dally and I had sat down behind those girls at the Nightly Double, I relaxed."**

"Someone call the newspapers! Pony knows how to relax."

"Shut it Steve."

"Seriously kid. You are wound up."

"**We could take whatever was coming now. The next four or five days were the longest days I've ever spent in my life. We killed time by reading Gone with the Wind and playing poker. Johnny sure did like that book, although he didn't know anything about the Civil War and even less about plantations, and I had to explain a lot of it to him. It amazed me how Johnny could get more meaning out of some of the stuff in there than I could—I was supposed to the deep one. Johnny had failed a year in school and never made good grades—he couldn't grasp anything that was shoved at him too fast, and I guess his teachers thought he was just plain dumb. But he wasn't. He was just a little slow to get things, and he liked to explore things once he did get them. He was especially stuck on the Southern gentlemen—impressed with their manners and charm. "I bet they were cool ol' guys," he said, his eyes glowing, after I had read the part about them riding into sure death because they were gallant. "They remind me of Dally.""**

At the part where Pony explained that Johnny got stuff when it wasn't thrown in his face, Darry began to wonder if that wasn't the case for Soda as well. He was bright, in his own right.

"Dally?" Two-Bit laughed at the thought of Dally being gallant.

"**Dally?"**

"See?"

"No one was disagreeing with you Two-Bit."

"**I said, startled. "Shoot, he ain't got any more manners than I do. And you saw how he treated those girls the other night. Soda's more like them Southern boys.""**

"Okay!" Steve threw his hands up. "How many more complements are there in this dang book? Greek god, doll, southern boy… the list is endless."

"You're just jealous."

""**Yeah…in the manners bit, and the charm, too, I guess," Johnny said slowly, "but one night I saw Dally getting picked up by the fuzz and he kept real cool and calm the whole time. They was gettin' him for breakin' out the windows in the school building, and it was Two-Bit who did that. And Dally knew it. But he just took the sentence without battin' an eye or even denyin' it. That's gallant.""**

"I guess it is." Soda sighed.

"Wow, I never knew Dally took the fall for me. I just thought no one called the fuzz."

"**That was the first time I realized the extent of Johnny's hero-worship for Dally Winston. Of all of us, Dally was the one I liked least. He didn't have Soda's understanding or dash, or Two-Bit's humor, or even Darry's superman qualities. But I realized that these three appealed to me because they were like the heroes in the novels I read. Dally was real. I liked my books and clouds and sunsets. Dally was so real he scared me."**

Darry, Soda and Two-Bit looked over at Pony. They were touched that he felt so highly of them to compare them to heroes in his novels. It was the highest complement coming from him.

"**Johnny and I never went to the front of the church. You could see the front from the road, and sometimes farm kids rode their horses by on their way to the store. So we stayed in the very back, usually sitting on the steps and looking across the valley. We could see for miles; see the ribbon of highway and the small dots that were houses and cars. We couldn't watch the sunset, since the back faced east, but I loved to look at the colors of the fields and the soft shadings of the horizon. One morning I woke up earlier than usual. Johnny and I slept huddled together for warmth—Dally had been right when he said it would get cold where we were going. Being careful not to wake Johnny up, I went to sit on the steps and smoke a cigarette."**

"Pony, you're sitting on the steps of a wooden church smoking." Darry said, shaking his head.

"Yeah, pretty dumb huh?"

"**The dawn was coming then. All the lower valley was covered with mist, and sometimes little pieces of it broke off and floated away in small clouds. The sky was lighter in the east, and the horizon was a thin golden line. The clouds changed from gray to pink, and the mist was touched with gold. There was a silent moment when everything held its breath, and then the sun rose. It was beautiful."**

The group of boys—minus Pony—took a minute to visualize it in their heads. It did sound amazing. Darry looked over at his little brothers, and promised himself that he'd see one of those with Pony. If only so that he could see it for himself.

""**Golly"—Johnny's voice beside me made me jump—"that sure was pretty." "Yeah." I sighed, wishing I had some paint to do a picture with while the sight was still fresh in my mind. "The mist was what was pretty," Johnny said. "All gold and silver." "Uhmmmm," I said, trying to blow a smoke ring. "Too bad it couldn't stay like that all the time." "Nothing gold can stay." I was remembering a poem I'd read once. "What?""**

"Kid, if I can't do it," Tim chuckled, "I doubt you can."

"_**Nature's first green is gold, **_

_**Her hardest hue to hold. **_

_**Her early leaf's a flower; **_

_**But only so an hour. **_

_**Then leaf subsides to leaf. **_

_**So Eden sake to grief, **_

_**So dawn goes down to day. **_

_**Nothing gold can stay."**_

Everybody was staring at Ponyboy, who had recited the whole thing as Soda read it.

"Glory kid! You still remember that?" Steve asked, running his hand through his hair.

"I like it," Pony shrugged.

"I should think so," Soda responded.

"What does it mean?" Two-Bit asked, genuinely curious.

"It depends on how you look at it," Pony responded.

"Huh?" Two-Bit asked, getting more and more confused.

"Soda, just read, will ya?" Pony said, laughing.

"**Johnny was staring at me. "Where'd you learn that? That was what I meant." "Robert Frost wrote it. He meant more to it than I'm getting, though" I was trying to find the meaning the poem had in mind, but it eluded me. "I always remembered it because I never quite got what he meant by it." "You know," Johnny said slowly, "I never noticed colors and clouds and stuff until you kept reminding me about them. It seems like they were never there before." He thought for a minute. "Your family sure is funny.""**

"And what does he mean by that?" Darry asked, his mood darkening swiftly.

"Chill, Dar."

""**And what happens to be so funny about it?" I asked stiffly."**

Darry smiled at his youngest brother, happy to not be the only one who thought Johnny was making fun of them or something.

"**Johnny looked at me quickly. "I didn't mean nothing. I meant, well, Soda kinda looks like your mother did, but he acts jut exactly like your father. And Darry is the spittin' image of your father, but he ain't wild and laughing all the time like he was. He acts like your mother. And you don't act like either one." "I know," I said. "Well," I said thinking this over, "you ain't like any of the gang. I mean, I couldn't tell Two-Bit or Steve or even Darry about the sunrise and clouds and stuff. I couldn't even remember that poem around them. I mean, they just don't dig. Just you and Sodapop. And maybe Cherry Valance.""**

"YES!" Steve jumped up and punched the air. "You, Soda buddy, just got dissed."

"I don't think so."

"Pepsi, you got compared to a Soc. That's the lowest of low."

"Pony would never insult me."

"**Johnny shrugged. "Yeah," he said with a sigh. "I guess we're different." "Shoot," I said, blowing a perfect smoke ring, "maybe **_**they**_** are.""**

"I don't believe it."

"Believe it Tim."

"**By the fifth day I was so tired of baloney I nearly got sick every time I looked at it. We had eaten all our candy bars in the first two days. I was dying for a Pepsi. I'm what you might call a Pepsi addict. I drink them like a fiend, and going for five days without one was about to kill me. Johnny promised to get some if we ran out of supplies and had to get some more, but that didn't help me right then. I was smoking a lot more than I usually did—I guess because it was something to do—although Johnny warned me that I would get sick smoking so much. We were careful with our cigarettes—if that old church ever caught fire there'd be no stopping it. On the fifth day I had read up to Sherman's siege of Atlanta in **_**Gone with the Wind**_**, owed Johnny one hundred and fifty bucks from poker games, smoked two packs of Camels, and as Johnny had predicted, got sick. I hadn't eaten anything all day; and smoking on an empty stomach doesn't make you feel real great. I curled up in a corner to sleep off the smoke. I was just about asleep when I hear, as if from a great distance, a low long whistle that went off in a sudden high note."**

"How did you lose that much money?"

"How did you have that much money?"

"Who from our gang would be up there?"

The questions were like rapid fire.

"I stink at poker, we agreed to wait until we got back—if we got back—and you'll have to let Soda read to find out."

"**I was too sleepy to pay any attention, although Johnny didn't have any reason to be whistling like that. He was sitting on the back steps trying to read **_**Gone with the Wind**_**. I had almost decided I had dreamed the outside world and there was nothing real but baloney sandwiches and the Civil War and the old church and he mist in the valley. It seemed to me that I had always lived in the church, or maybe lived during the Civil War and had somehow got transplanted. That shows you what a wild imagination I have. A toe nudged me in the ribs. "Glory," said a rough but familiar voice, "he looks different with his hair like that." I rolled over and sat up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and yawning. Suddenly I blinked. "Hey, Dally!""**

"Dally!"

"Good, you'll be able to get something not related to baloney to eat." Darry nodded. He got worried when it said that they weren't eating much.

""**Hey Ponyboy!" He grinned down at me. "Or should I say Sleeping Beauty?" I never thought I'd live to see the day when I would be so glad to see Dally Winston, but right then he meant one thing: contact with the outside world. And that suddenly became real and vital. "How's Sodapop? Are the fuzz after us? Is Darry alright? Do the boys know where we are? What…""**

"Now that's what I call rapid fire questions." Steve said, in awe.

"I think that's the most the kid's said after waking up." Two-Bit chuckled.

"Yeah, get yer jollies."

Darry on the other hand was touched that Pony, despite his feelings, thought enough of him to ask about his well-being.

"**"Hold on, kid," Dally broke in. "I can't answer everything at once. You two want to go get something to eat first? I skipped breakfast and I'm about starved." "**_**You're **_**starved?" Johnny was so indignant he nearly squeaked. I remembered the baloney. "Is it safe to go out?" I asked eagerly. "Yep." Dally searched his shirt pocket for a cigarette, and finding none, said, "Gotta cancer stick, Johnnycake?" Johnny tossed him a whole package. "The fuzz won't be lookin' for you around here," Dally said, lighting up. "They think you've lit out for Texas. I've got Buck's T-bird parked down the road a little way. Godshamighty, boys, ain't you been eatin' anything?" Johnny looked startled. "Yeah. Whatever gave you the idea we ain't?""**

"Because all you have left is baloney?" Steve made a face.

"**Dally shook his head. "You're both pale and you've lost weight. After this, get out in the sun more. You look like you've been thought the mill." I started to say "Look who's talking" but decided it would be safer not to. Dally needed a shave—a stubble of colorless beard covered his jaw—and he looked like he was the one who'd been sleeping in his clothes for a week instead of us; I knew he hadn't seen a barber in months. But it was safer not to get mouthy with Dally Winston."**

"Smart kid," everyone there muttered under his breath

"**"Hey, Ponyboy"—he fumbled with a piece of paper in his back pocket—"I gotta letter for you." "A letter? Who from?" "The President, of course, stupid. It's from Soda." "Sodapop?" I said, bewildered. "But how did he know…?" "He came over to Buck's a couple of days ago for something and fount that sweat shirt. I told him I didn't know where you were, but he didn't believe me. He gave me this letter and half of his pay check to give you. Kid, you ought to see Darry. He's takin' this mighty hard…." I wasn't listening. I leaned back against the side of the church and read: "**

"That obvious?" Darry muttered into Soda's ear.

"Blind squirrels would have been able to tell you were worried about him, Darry."

"You've spent too much time around Two-Bit."

_**Ponyboy, **_

_** Well I guess you got yourself into some trouble, huh? Darry and me nearly went nuts when you ran out like that. Darry is awful sorry he hit you. You know he didn't mean it. And then you and Johnny turned up missing and what with that dead kid in the park and Dally getting hauled into the station, well it scared us something awful. The policed came by to question us and we told them as much as we could. I can't believe little old Johnny could kill somebody. I know Dally knows where you are, but you know him. He keeps his trap shut and won't tell me nothing. Darry hasn't got the slightest notion where you're at and it is nearly killing him. I wish you'd come back and turn your selfves in but I guess you can't since Johnny might get hurt. You sure are famous. You got a paragraph in the paper even. Take care and say hi to Johnny for us. **_

_**Sodapop Curtis**_

"Nice letter buddy." Steve said, serious for once.

"Where'd you find the time?" Two-Bit asked.

"When I was at the desk at the DX." Soda shrugged.

"**He could improve his spelling, I thought after reading it through three or four times."**

"Hey!"

"An insult!"

"Can it, Steve!"

"Three or four times? Wow, that's almost obsessive."

"I don't obsess."

Everyone shot Pony a look of disbelief.

"I think a lot."

""**How come you got hauled in?" I asked Dally. **

"Because he's Dallas Winston." Tim replied with a smirk.

"**Shoot, kid"—he grinned wolfishly—"them boys at the station know me by now. I get hauled in for everything that happens in our turf. While I was there I kinda let it slip that y'all were headin' for Texas."**

"How in the world did he come up with that?" Soda asked.

"Johnny always wanted to go to Texas. Guess he remembered."

"**So that's where they're lookin'." He took a drag on his cigarette and cussed it good- naturedly for it not being a Kool. Johnny listened n admiration. "You sure can cuss good, Dally." "Sure can," Dally agreed wholeheartedly, proud of his vocabulary. "But don't you kids get to pickin' up my bad habits." He gave me a hard rub on the head. "Kid, I swear it don't look like you with your hair all cut off. It used to look tuff. You and Soda had the coolest-lookin' hair in town." "I know," I said sourly. "I look lousy, but don't rub it in." "Do y'all want something to eat or not?" Johnny and I leaped up. "You'd better believe it." "Gee," Johnny said wistfully, "it sure will be good to get into a car again." "Well," Dally drawled, "I'll give you a ride for your money." Dally always did like to drive fast, as if he didn't care whether he got where he was going or not, and we came down the red dirt road off Jay Mountain going eighty-five."**

"The man was insane, that's all I'm gonna say." Darry said.

"Wow, and I thought Dally was gonna get another death threat." Steve muttered.

"**I like fast driving and Johnny was crazy about drag races, but we both got a little green around the gills when Dally took a corner on two wheels with the brakes screaming. Maybe it was because we hadn't been in a car for so long. We stopped at a Dairy Queen and the first thing I got was a Pepsi. Johnny and I gorged on barbecue sandwiches and banana splits. "Glory," Dallas said, amazed, watching us gulp the stuff down."**

"Pigs." Steve sneered.

"Baloney." Pony sang/hissed.

"I meant pig. As in Dally, being a pig for watching you eat."

"Nice save." Soda gave his friend a pat on the back.

""**You don't need to make like every mouthfuls' your last. I got plenty of money. Take it easy, I don't want you getting sick on me. And I thought I was hungry." Johnny merely ate faster."**

"A Dally order? Disobeyed?" Two-Bit gasped, clutching his heart.

"It must not be Johnny!" Steve cried.

"**I didn't slow down until I got a headache. "I didn't tell y'all something," Dally said, finishing his third hamburger. "The Socs and us are having all-out-warfare all over the city. That kid you killed had plenty of friends and all over town it's Soc against grease. We can't walk alone at all. I started carryin' a heater…" "Dally!" I said, frightened. "You kill people with heaters!" "Ya kill 'em with switchblades, too, don't ya, kid?""**

"Uncalled for!" Tim yelled. "It wasn't the kid, it was Johnny and Dally knew it."

"**Dally said in a hard voice. Johnny gulped. "Don't worry," Dally went on. "it ain't loaded. I ain't aiming to get picked up for murder. But it sure does help a bluff. Tim Shepard's gang and our outfit are havin' it out with the Socs tomorrow night at the vacant log. We got hold of the president of one of their social clubs and had a war council. Yeah"—Dally sighed, and I knew he was remembering New York—"just like the good old days. If they win, things go on as usual. If we do, they stay outa our territory but good.""**

"Wish it would stay that way." Steve muttered. He was always getting Socs hounding him around the DX on his way to work.

"**Two-Bit got jumped a few days ago. Darry and me came along in time, but he wasn't havin' too much trouble. Two-Bit's a good fighter. He, I didn't tell you we got us a spy." "A spy?" Johnny looked up from his banana split. "Who?" "That good-lookin' broad I tried to pick up that night you kill the Soc. The redhead, Cherry what's-her-name.""**

"And that's the end of that chapter." Soda smirked. "Tim, it's your turn to read."

"No, I don't think so."

"Please?" Everyone but Darry begged.

"Oh, fine. Give me the stupid book."

A/N: Yes, this is an update. Not a test. I had some free time today, so I thought I'd finish up and post this chapter. Someone asked for an update before the end of the month, so I'm updating.

Thanks to Today-Only-Happens-Once for more comment ideas. If anyone else has something that they want to add, just PM me.

Review, please!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

A/N: I do not own the Outsiders

"Alright, let's get this over with." Tim muttered. "Chapter Six."

"**Johnny gagged and I almost dropped my hot-fudge sundae. "Cherry?" we both said at the same time. "The Soc?" "Yeah," Dally said. "She came over to the vacant lot the night Two-Bit was jumped. Shepard and some of his outfit and us were hanging around there when she drives up in her little ol' Sting Ray. That took a lot of nerve. Some of us were for jumping her then and there, her bein' the dead kid's girl and all, but Two-Bit stopped us. Man, next time I want a broad I'll pick up my own kind.""**

"Why did you?" Tim asked Two-Bit.

"I remembered her from the movies. Seemed all right. Liked Pony and Johnny and besides, jumping her seemed such a Socy thing to do."

""**Yeah," Johnny said slowly, and I wondered if, like me, he was remembering another voice, also tough and just deepened into manhood, saying "Next time you want a broad, pick up your own kind…" It gave me the creeps."**

"It would give anyone the creeps." Soda muttered.

"**Dally was going on: "She said she felt that the whole mess was her fault, which it is, and that she'd keep up with what was comin' off with the Socs in the rumble and would testify that the Socs were drunk and looking for a fight and that you fought back in self-defense." He gave a grim laugh. "That little gal sure does hate me. I offered to take her over to the Dingo for a Coke and she said 'No, thank you' and told me where I could go in very polite terms.""**

"Now that's a Soc I like." Tim said, and then blinked.

"Did Tim just say—"?

"Randle, if you repeat that I will cheerfully beat you to death with a paper napkin."

"Is that possible?" Soda asked, smirking.

"I don't know and if Randle's smart I never will."

"**She was afraid of loving you, I thought. So Cherry Valance, the cheerleader, Bob's girl, the Soc, was trying to help us. No, it wasn't Cherry the Soc who was helping us, it was Cherry the dreamer who watched sunsets and couldn't stand fights. It was hard to believe a Soc would help us, even one that dug sunsets. Dally didn't notice. He had forgotten about it already."**

Every time Cherry was complemented in some way, Tim's eyebrow would twitch ever so slightly. It was if he was forcing himself to do this.

""**Man, this place is out of it. What do they do for kicks around here, play checkers?" Dally surveyed the scene without interest. "I ain't never been in the country before. Have you two?" Johnny shook his head but I said, "Dad use to take us all huntin'. I've been in the country before. How'd you know about the church?" "I got a cousin that lives around here somewhere. Tipped me off that it'd make a tuff hide-out in case of something. Hey, Ponyboy, I heard you was the best shot in the family." "Yeah," I said. "Darry always got the most ducks, though. Him and Dad. Soda and I goofed around too much, scared most of our game away." I couldn't tell Dally that I hated to shoot things. He'd think I was soft."**

"Only you, Pony," Darry said amid laughter from idiots one and two (Steve and Two-Bit), "would put a thought down on paper and then have it read aloud by one of the toughest hoods on the east side."

"I guess I'm just lucky." Pony muttered, but didn't blush.

""**That was a good idea, I mean cuttin' your hair and bleachin' it. They printed your descriptions in the paper but you sure wouldn't fit 'em now." Johnny had been quietly finishing his fifth barbecue sandwich, but now he announce: "We're goin' back and turn ourselves in." It was Dally's turn to gag."**

The group (minus Pony) stared at the book in shock. That just didn't seem like Johnny.

"What?" Soda gasped.

"**Then he swore awhile. Then he turned to Johnny and demanded: "What?""**

"See, Dally wants to know too!"

""**I said we're goin' back and turn ourselves in," Johnny repeated in a quiet voice. I was surprised but not shocked. I had thought about turning ourselves in lots of times, but apparently the whole idea was a jolt to Dallas. "I got a good chance of bein' let off easy," Johnny said desperately, and I didn't know if it was Dally he was trying to convince or himself. "I ain't got no record with the fuzz and it was self-defense. Ponyboy and Cherry can testify to that. And I don't aim to stay in that church all my life." That was quite a speech for Johnny. His big black eyes grew bigger than ever at the thought of going to the police station, for Johnny had a deathly fear of cops, but he went on: "We won't tell that you helped us, Dally, and we'll give you back the gun and what's left of the money and say we hitchhiked back so you won't get into trouble. Okay?""**

"Dally won't care about any of that. In fact, he'd love to have something else put on his record. It's more like he's gonna be pissed at you two." Tim said, as if he knew a thing or two about the inner workings of Dally Winston's brain.

"**Dally was chewing the corner of his ID card, which gave his age as twenty-one so he could buy liquor. "You sure you want to go back? Us greasers get it worse than anyone else." Johnny nodded. "I'm sure. It ain't fair for Ponyboy to have to stay up in that church with Darry and Soda worryin' about him all the time. I don't guess…" –he swallowed and tried not to look eager—" I don't guess my parents are worried about me or anything?" "The boys are worried," Dally said in a matter-of-fact voice. "Two-Bit was going to Texas to hunt for you.""**

"Did you really?" Pony looked over at Two-Bit.

"We had to tackle him to stop him from taking the truck." Soda said, laughing at the memory.

""**My parents," Johnny repeated doggedly, "did they ask about me?""**

"Determined, ain't he?" Steve asked.

"Almost as bad as you, Steve, when that new girl gave me her name but wouldn't give you the time of day." Pony smirked.

"You swore—"

"Yeah, yeah. Keep your hair on, Steve."

""**No," snapped Dally, "they didn't. Blast it, Johnny, what do they matter? Shoot, my old man doesn't give a hang whether I'm in jail or dead in a car wreck or drunk in the gutter. That don't bother me none." Johnny didn't say anything. But he sated at the dashboard with such hurt bewilderment that I could have bawled. Dally cused under his breath and nearly tore out the transmission of the T-bird as we roared out of the Dairy Queen. I felt sorry for Dally. He meant it when he said he didn't care about his parents. But he and the rest of the gang knew Johnny cared and did everything they could to make it up to him. I don't know what it was about Johnny-maybe that lost-puppy look and those big scared eyes were what made everyone his big brother. But they couldn't, no matter how much they tried, take the place of his parents. I thought about it for a moment-Darry and Sodapop were my brothers and I loved both of them, even if Darry did scare me; but not even Soda could take Mom and Dad's place. And they were my real brothers, not just sort of adopted ones. No wonder Johnny was hurt because his parents didn't want him. Dally could take it-Dally was of the breed that could take anything, because he was hard and tough, and when he wasn't, he could turn hard and tough. Johnny was a good fighter and could play it cool, but he was sensitive and that isn't a good way to be when you're a greaser."**

Tim paused. "Wow, longest paragraph I've been able to get through. What going on?"

"Just a lot to take in." Darry said simply. It was. Darry had winced when Tim read the part of Pony being scared by him, but other than that his mind was on Johnny and his parents.

""**Blast it, Johnny," Dally growled as we flew along the red road, "why didn't you think of turning youfelf in five days ago? It would have saved a lot of troube." "I was scared," Johnny said with conviction. "I still am." He ran his finger down one of his short black sideburns. "I guess we ruined our hair for nothing, Ponyboy." "I guess so." I was glad we were going back. I was sick of that church. I didn't care if I was bald. Dally was scowling, and from long and painful experience I knew better than to talk to him when his eyes were blazing like that. I'd likely as not get clobbered over the head. That had happened before, just as it had happened to all the gang at one time or another. We rarely fought among ourselves—Darry was the unofficial leader, since he kept his head best, Soda and Steve had been best friends since grade school and never fought, and Two-Bit was just too lazy to argue with anyone. Johnny kept his mouth shut too much to get into arguments, and nobody ever fought with Johnny. I kept my mouth shut too. But Dally was a different matter. If something beefed him, he didn't keep quiet about it, and if you rubbed him the wrong way—look out. Not even Darry wanted to tangle with him. He was dangerous."**

"Well, he was." Darry muttered. He hadn't liked that part of Dallas—it had made him feel weak.

"I am not lazy!" Two-Bit said, indigently.

"Yeah, you are."

"**Johnny just sat there and stared at his feet. He hated for any one of us to be mad at him. He looked awful sad. Dally glanced at him out of the corner of his eye I looked out the window. "Johnny," Dally said in a pleading, high voice, using a tone I had never heard from him before, "Johnny, I ain't mad at you. I just don't want you to get hurt. You don't know want a few months in jail can do to you. O, blast it, Johnny"—he pushed his white-blond hair back out of his eyes—" you get hardened in jail. I don't want that to happen to you. Like it happened to me…" I kept starting out the window at the rapidly passing scenery, but I felt my eyes getting round. Dally never talked like that. Never. Dally didn't give a Yankee dime about anyone but himself, and he was cold and hard and mean. He never talked about his past or being in jail that way—if he talked about it at all, it was to brag. And I suddenly thought of Dally….in jail at the age of ten…Dally growing up in the streets…"**

"Tim, read that last part again." Steve said in a deadly whisper. Tim obliged.

"Who was the idiot who put a ten year old in jail?" Soda asked.

"The New York Police." Two-Bit replied, serious for the first time in his life.

""**Would you rather have me living in hide-outs for the rest of my life?" Johnny asked seriously. If Dally had said yes, Johnny would have gone back to the church without hesitation. He figured Dally knew more than he did, and Dally's word was law. But he never heard Dally's answer, for we had reached the top of Jay Mountain and Dally suddenly slammed on the brakes and stared. "Oh, glory!" he whispered. The church was on fire! "Let's go see what the deal is," I said, hopping out."**

"Let's not." Steve and Soda said at the same time.

""**What for?" Dally sounded irritated. "Get back in here before I beat your head in." I knew Dally would have to park the car and catch me before he could carry out his threat, and Johnny was already out and following me, so I figured I was safe. We could hear him cussing us out, but he wasn't mad enough to come after us. There was a crowd at the front of the church, mostly little kids, and I wondered how they'd gotten there so quickly. I tapped the nearest grownup. "What's going on?" "Well, we don't know for sure," the man said with a good-natured grin."**

"Oh, Glory!" Soda cried.

"It's an adult Two-Bit!" Steve continued.

"Run away, Pony. Run for your life!" Darry ended it for them. The three of them burst out laughing.

"Why are little kids around a burning church?" Tim asked and that quieted the peanut gallery down.

""**We were having a school picnic up here and the first thing we knew the place is burning up. Than goodness this is a wet season and the old thing is worthless anyway." Then, to the kids, he shouted, "Stand back, children. The firemen will be coming soon" "I bet we started it," I said to Johnny. "We must have dropped a lighted cigarette or something." About that time a lady came running up. "Jerry, some of the kids are missing.""**

"Uh oh." Steve gulped.

"Please tell me you didn't…" Two-Bit gasped.

"Keep reading, Tim" Pony sighed.

""**They're probably around here somewhere. You can't tell with all this excitement where they might be.""**

"Yep, an adult Two-Bit alright."

"Shut it, Curtis."

"Which one?" all three brothers asked, innocently.

""**No." She shook her head. "They've been missing for at least a half an hour. I thought they were climbing the hill…." Then we all froze. Faintly, just faintly, you could hear someone yelling. And it sounded like it was coming from inside the church. The woman went white. "I told them not to play in the church…I told them…" She looked like she was going to faint, so Jerry shook her. "I'll get them, don't worry!" I started at a dead run for the church, and the man caught my arm. "I'll get them. You kids stay out!""**

"Listen to the adult Two-Bit, Pony." Soda groaned.

"How'd he catch you? Didn't you start from a dead run?" Darry asked at the same time.

"I dunno." Pony said, shrugging his shoulders.

"**I jerked loose and ran on. All I could think was: We started it. We started it. We started it. I wasn't about to go through the flaming door, so I slammed a big rock through a window and pulled myself in. It was a wonder I didn't cut myself to death, now that I think about it. "Hey, Ponyboy." I looked around, startled. I hadn't realized Johnny had been right behind me all the way. I took in a deep breath, and started coughing. The smoke filled my eyes and they started watering. "Is that guy coming?" Johnny shook his head. "The window stopped him." "Too scared?" "Naw…" Johnny gave me a grin. "Too fat.""**

The reading had to be paused due to the galls of laughter that was coming from each of the boys. As they finally calmed down, Soda looked at his little brother.

"You'd be grounded for a month if you weren't doing a good thing, you know that?"

"Yeah, Soda." Pony grinned. "I do."

"**I couldn't laugh because I was scared I'd drown in the smoke. The roar and crackling was getting louder, and Johnny shouted the next question. "Where's the kids?" "In the back, I guess," I hollered, and we started stumbling through the church. I should be scared, I thought with an odd detached feeling, but I'm not. The cinders and embers began falling on us, stinging and smarting like ants. Suddenly, in the red glow and the haze, I remembered wondering what it was like to be in a burning ember, and I thought: Now I know, it's a red hell. Why aren't I scared?"**

"Pony, you think too much." Two-Bit muttered. Pony heard him.

"And you don't think at all."

"**We pushed open the door to the back room and found four or five kids huddled in a corner. One was screaming hi head off, and Johnny yelled, "Shut up! We're goin' to get you out!" The kid looked surprised and quit hollering. I blinked myself—Johnny wasn't behaving at all like his old self. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the door was blocked by flames, then pushed open the window and tossed out the nearest kid. I caught one look at his face; it was red marked from falling embers and sweat streaked, but he grinned at me. He wasn't scared either. That was the only time I can think of when I saw him without that defeated, suspicious look in his eyes. He looked like he was having the time of his life."**

"I guess that's good then." Soda said in a stiff voice. "He had one good moment in his life."

"Yeah, but really?" Steve asked. "In a burning church? You'd think a sixteen year old boy would want some action!"

At that, the two elder Curtises remembered that they were due to give Pony the talk.

"**I picked up a kid, and he promptly bit me, but I leaned out the window and dropped him as gently as I could, being in a hurry like that. A crowd was there by that time. Dally was standing there, and when he saw me he screamed, "For Pete's sake, get outta there! That roof's gonna cave in any minute. Forget those blasted kids!""**

"Listen to Dally!" Darry almost yelled. "Wow, did those words actually come out of my mouth?"

"Yep."

"**I didn't pay any attention, although pieces of the old roof were crashing down too close for comfort. I snatched up another kid, hoping he didn't bite, and dropped him without seeing if he landed okay or not. I was coughing so hard I could hardly stand up, and I wished I had time to take off Dally's jacket. It was hot. We dropped the last of the kids out as the front of the church started to crumble. Johnny shoved me toward the window. "Get out!""**

"Listen to Johnny!"

"I'm fine, Soda!" Pony said, from underneath his brother's arms. "You can stop squishing me."

"Oh, sorry."

"**I leaped out the window and heard timbers crashing and the flames roaring right behind me. I staggered, almost falling, coughing and sobbing for breath. Then I heard Johnny scream and as I turned to go back for him, Dally swore at me and clubbed me across the back as hard as he could, and I went down into a peaceful darkness."**

"Dal didn't know his own strength, I guess." Tim shrugged.

"Or someone fainted."

"Shut it Matthews."

"**When I came to I was being bounced around, and I ached and smarted, and wondered dimly where I was. I tried to think but there was this high-pitched screaming going on, and I couldn't tell whether it was inside my head or out. Then I realized it was a siren. The fuzz, I thought dully. The cops have come for us. I tried to swallow a groan and wished wildly for Soda. Someone with a cold wet rag was gently sponging off my face, and a voice said "I think he's coming around." I opened my eyes. It was dark. I'm moving, I thought. Are they taking me to jail?"**

"Pon, you have really pessimistic thoughts." Soda said, frowning.

"Wouldn't you if you were in my shoes?"

"True."

""**Where…?" I said hoarsely, not able to get anything else out of my mouth. My throat was sore. I blinked at the stranger sitting beside me. But he wasn't a stranger…I'd seen him before. "Take it easy, kid. You're in an ambulance." "Where's Johnny?" I cried, frightened at being in this car with strangers. "And Dallas?" "They're in the other ambulance, right behind us. Just calm down. You're going to be okay. You just passed out." "I didn't either." I said in the bored, tough voice we reserved for strangers and cops. "Dallas hit me. How come?" "Because your back was in flames, that's why.""**

"Really?" Darry said, shocked. "Pony, stop getting in these situations."

"Darry, I promise. I won't go in any more burning churches."

"Not funny."

"**I was surprised."**

"So were we." Darry muttered under his breath.

""**It was? Golly, I didn't feel it. It don't hurt." "We put it out before you got burned. That jacket saved you from a bad burning, maybe saved your life. You just keeled over from smoke inhalation and a little shock—of course, that slap on the back didn't help much." I remembered who he was then—Jerry somebody-or-other who was too heavy to get in the window. He must be a school teacher, I thought. "Are you taking us to the police station?" I was still a little mixed up as to what was coming off. "The police station?" It was his turn to be surprised. "What would we want to take you to the police station for? We're talking all three of you to the hospital." I let his first remark slide by. "Are Johnny and Dallas all right?" "Which one's which?" "Johnny has black hair. Dally's the mean looking one.""**

"Simple yet so descriptive at the same time." Steve chuckled.

"**He studied his wedding right. Maybe he's thinking about his wife, I thought I wished he'd say something. "We think the towheaded kid is going to be all right. He burned one arm pretty badly, though, trying to drag the other kid out the window. Johnny, well, I don't know about him. A piece of timber caught him across the back—he might have a broken back, and he was burned pretty severely. He passed out before he got out the window. They're giving him plasma now." He must have seen the look on my face because he hurriedly changed the subject. "I swear, you three are the bravest kids I've seen in a long time. First you and the black-haired kid climbing in that window, and then the tough looking kid going back in to save him. Mrs. O'Briant and I think you were sent straight from heaven. Or are you just professional heroes or something?""**

"Did he see Dally?" Soda choked out.

"Didn't the kid give him Dally and Johnny's names like two minutes ago?" Two-Bit asked.

**Sent from heaven? Had he gotten a good look at Dallas? " "No, we're greasers," I said. I was too worried and scared to appreciate the fact that he was trying to be funny. "You're what?" "Greasers. You know, like hood's JD's. Johnny's wanted for murder, and Dallas has a record with the fuzz a mile long." "Are you kidding me?" Jerry stared at me as if he thought I was still in shock or something. "I am not. Take me to town and you'll find out pretty quick." "We're taking you to a hospital there anyway. The address card in your billfold said that was where you lived. Your name's really Ponyboy?" "Yeah. Even on my birth certificate. And don't bug me about it. Are…" –I felt weak—"are the little kids okay?" "Just find. A little frightened maybe. There were some short explosions right after you all got out. Sounded like gunfire." Gunfire. There went our gun. And **_**Gone with the Wind**_**. Were we sent from heaven? I started to laugh weakly. I guess that guy knew how close to hysterics I really was, for he talked to me in a low soothing voice all the way to the hospital.**

"Guess Pony's got the same thoughts as you, Pepsi."

"Ah, finally. A guy who doesn't know what greasers and Socs are. You owe me two bucks, Tim."

"I'll pay ya soon."

"**I was sitting in the waiting room, waiting to hear how Dally and Johnny were. I had been checked over, and except for a few burns and a big bruise across my back, I was all right. I had watched them bring Dally and Johnny in on stretchers. Dally's eyes were closed, but when I spoke he tried to grin and had told me that if I ever did a stupid thing like that again he'd beat the tar out of me. He was still swearing at me when he took him on in."**

"Sounds like Dal all right." Soda smiled at the memory of his buddy.

" **Johnny was unconscious. I had been afraid to look at him, but I was relieved to see that his face wasn't burned. He just looked very pale and still and sort of sick. I would have cried at the sight of him so still except I couldn't in front of strangers. Jerry Wood and stayed with me all the time. He kept thanking me for getting the kids out. He didn't seem to mind our being hoods. I told him the whole story—starting when Dallas and Johnny and I had met at the corner of Pickett and Sutton. I left out the part about the gun and our hitching a ride in the freight car. He was real nice about it and said that being heroes would help us get out of trouble, especially since it was self-defense and all. I was sitting there, smoking a cigarette, when Jerry came back in from making a phone call.""**

"Really, Pon? You couldn't wait?" Darry shook his head.

"No, not really." Pony shrugged.

"**He stared at me for a second. "You shouldn't be smoking."**

"No, you shouldn't." Darry shot Pony a look.

"It ain't gonna kill me."

"It might."

**I was startled. "How come?" I looked at my cigarette. It looked okay to me. I looked for a "No Smoking" sign and couldn't find one. "How come?" "Why, uh," Jerry stammered, "uh, you're too young." "I am?" I had never thought about it. Everyone in our neighborhood, even the girls, smoked. Except for Darry, who was too proud of his athletic health to risk a cigarette, we had all started smoking at an early age. Johnny had been smoking since he was nine; Steve started at eleven. So no one thought it unusual when I started. I was the weed-fiend in my family—Soda only smokes to steady his nerves or when he wants to look tough."**

"And to impress a certain owner of a pool bar we –"

"Keep reading, Tim!" Soda said, shooting Steve a look.

"**Jerry simply sighed, then grinned. "There are some people here to see you. Claim to be your brothers or something." I leaped up and ran for the door, but it was already open and Soda had me in a bear hug and was swinging me around. I was so glad to see him I could have bawled. Finally he set me down and looked at me. He pushed my hair back. "Oh, Ponyboy, your hair…your tuff, tuff, hair….""**

"Only you, Soda." Steve said, chuckling. "Only you."

Two-Bit smiled at the mention of the scene, though wished he could have been there to see it for himself.

"**Then I saw Darry."**

"And this isn't going to be awkward at all." Steve muttered.

"**He was leaning in the doorway, wearing his olive jeans and black T-shirt. He was still tall, broad-shouldered Darry; but his fists were jammed in his pockets and his eyes were pleading. I simply looked at him. He swallowed and said in a husky voice, "Ponyboy…""**

Two-Bit and Steve looked ill and Darry groaned.

"What is with your minds? He's my brother, you dolts!"

"**I let go of Soda and stood there for a minute. Darry didn't like me…he had driven me away that night…he had hit me…Darry hollered at me all the time…he didn't give a hang about me… Suddenly I realized, horrified that Darry was crying."**

"I was?" Darry asked, shocked. He only remembered leaving the hospital the night before the rumble. Everything else he tried to repress. He winced a little at each accusation but tried to not let it show.

"**He didn't make a sound, but tears were running down his cheeks. I hadn't seen him cry in years, not even when Mom and Dad had been killed. (I remember the funeral. I had sobbed in spite of myself; Soda had broken down and bawled like a baby; but Darry had only stood there, his fists in his pockets and that look on his face, the same helpless, pleading look that he was wearing now.) In that second what Soda and Dally and Two-Bit had been trying to tell me came through. Darry did care about me, maybe as much as he cared about Soda, and because he cared he was trying too hard to make something of me."**

"Finally!" Steve cried, causing the Curtis brothers to chuckle. "He can be taught!"

"**When he cried "Pony, where have you been all this time?" he meant "Pony, you've scared me to death. Please be careful, because I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you." Darry looked down and turned away silently."**

"Hey Dar?" Soda asked. "What were you thinking right then?"

"That he hated me." Darry said this in almost a whisper.

"Sorry." Pony grinned.

"**Suddenly I broke out of my daze. "Darry!" I screamed, and the next thing I knew I had him around the waist and was squeezing the daylights out of him. "Darry," I'm sorry…" He was stroking my hair and I could hear the sobs racking him as he fought to keep back the tears."**

"Awww!" Two-Bit cried, and then ducked the pillows sent his way.

"Ha!"

Pony's pillow hit Two-Bit square in the face.

""**Oh, Pony, I thought we'd lost you…like we did Mom and Dad…" That was his silent fear then—of losing another person he loved. I remembered how close he and Dad had been and I wondered how I could have ever thought him hard and unfeeling. I listened to his heart pounding though his T-shirt and knew everything was going to be okay now. I had taken the long way around, but I was finally home. To stay. "**

"That's the end. Someone else read the damn thing." Tim scowled.

"I'll take it." Darry said, and the cycle resumed.

A/n: Oh, I'm half way there! There are twelve chapters in the Outsiders and I just wrote Chapter Six. Yes! Another update out of the way, and I am on fire. Hoped you enjoyed.

Review, please!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

A/N: I do not own the Outsiders

"Alright." Darry said, taking the book. The cycle had gone full swing and had come back to him. "Chapter seven.

"**Now there were three of us sitting in the waiting room waiting to hear how Dally and Johnny were. Then the reporters and the police came. They asked too many questions too fast, and got me mixed up."**

"I'd have loved to see your face," Two-Bit chuckled.

"**If you want to know the truth, I wasn't feeling real good in the first place. Kind of sick, really. And I'm scared of policemen anyway."**

"Who isn't?" Steve muttered.

"Dally." Tim replied.

Darry frowned when he read that Pony hadn't been feeling well. Why hadn't he told them?

"**The reporters fired one question after another at me and got me so confused I didn't know what was coming off. Darry finally told them I wasn't in any shape to be yelled at so much and they slowed down a little. Darry's kinda big."**

"And that's just stating the obvious," Two-Bit muttered.

"I have a pillow and I'm not afraid to use it," Pony glared.

"**Sodapop kept them in stitches. He'd grab one guy's press hat and another's camera and walk around interviewing the nurses and mimicking TV reporters. He tried to lift a policeman's gun and grinned so crazily when he was caught that the policeman had to grin too. Soda can make anyone grin."**

Steve twitched at yet another complement that was directed at his buddy. It wasn't Soda's fault that the kid adored him. Steve was just getting annoyed was all.

"**I managed to get hold of some hair grease and comb my hair back so that it looked a little better before they got any pictures. I'd die if I got my picture in the paper with my hair looking so lousy. Darry and Sodapop were in the pictures too; Jerry Wood told me that if Sodapop and Darry hadn't been so good looking, they wouldn't have taken so many. That was public appeal, he said."**

"And the fact that Darry looks very scary when he hasn't gotten much sleep…" Two-Bit asked.

"Was irrelevant." Pony finished, glaring at Two-Bit.

"**Soda was really getting a kick out of all this. I guess he would have enjoyed it more if it hadn't been so serious, but he couldn't resist anything that caused that much excitement. I swear, sometimes he reminds me of a colt. A long legged palomino colt that has to get his nose into everything."**

Soda looked up, a grin plastered on his face. Horses were his favorite animal of all time, and to be compared to one by his little brother just made his day.

"Soda?" Pony asked, alarmed as Soda scooped him up in a big hug. "You alright?"

"Just fine, little brother. Just fine," Soda said as he sat back down.

"**The reporters stared at him admiringly; I told you he looks like a movie star, and he kind of radiates. Finally, even Sodapop got tired of the reporters—he gets bored with the same old thing after a time—and stretching out on the long bench, he put his head in Darry's lap and went to sleep. I guess both of them were tired—it was late at night and I knew they hadn't slept much during the week. Even while I was answering questions I remembered that it had been only a few hours since I was sleeping off a smoke in the corner of the church. Already it was an unreal dream and yet, at the time I couldn't have imagined any other world. Finally, the reporters started to leave, along with the police."**

"Wow. That was the longest we've lasted without an interruption. What's up?" Darry asked.

"Just happy the cops are leaving," Tim said. It was true. Cops bugged him.

"**One of them turned and asked, "What would you do right now if you could do anything you wanted?" I looked at him tiredly. "Take a bath." They thought that was pretty funny, but I meant it. I felt lousy. The hospital got real quiet after they left. The only noise was the nurse's soft footsteps and Soda's light breathing. Darry looked down at him and grinned half-heartedly. "He didn't get much sleep this week," he said softly. "He hardly slept at all." "Hhhmmm," Soda said drowsily, "you didn't either.""**

"I still can't believe you heard that," Darry muttered under his breath. Soda was the deepest sleeper that he knew; even deeper than Ponyboy.

"**The nurses wouldn't tell us anything about Johnny and Dally, so Darry got hold of the doctor. The doctor told us that he would talk only to the family, but Darry finally got it through the guy's head that we were about as much family that Dally and Johnny had."**

"So true!" Steve said, and Two-Bit nodded.

"**Dally would be okay after two or three days in the hospital, he said. One arm was badly burned and would be scarred for the rest of his life, but he would have full use of it in a couple of weeks. Dally'll be okay, I though. Dallas is always okay. He could take anything."**

'_Not anything,'_ Ponyboy thought as he remembered Dally's reaction to Johnny's death.

"**It was Johnny I was worried about. He was in critical condition. His back had been broken when that piece of timber fell on him. He was in severe shock and suffering from third-degree burns. They were doing everything they could to ease the pain, although since his back was broken he couldn't even feel the burns below his waste. He kept calling for Dallas and Ponyboy."**

"And what are we? Chopped liver?" Two-Bit asked, trying to alleviate the tension.

"You might be."

"**If he lived…. If? Please, no, I thought. Please not "if." The blood was draining from my face and Darry put an arm across my shoulder and squeezed it hard…Even if he lived he'd be crippled for the rest of his life. "You wanted it straight and you got it straight," the doctor said. "Now go home and get some rest." I was trembling. A pain was growing in my throat and I wanted to cry, but greasers don't cry in front of strangers."**

Darry shook his head at this. His little brother was trying so hard to be like the rest of the gang that he didn't see that it was okay to cry sometimes. Hell, Tim had just read that he'd been crying in the last chapter.

"Great doctor," Tim muttered.

"**Some of us never cry at all. Like Dally and Two-Bit and Tim Shepard—they forgot how at an early age."**

Two-Bit rolled his eyes. He remembered crying when a Soc's car had almost hit his little sister three years ago. He'd cut school just in time to pull her out of the way.

"**Johnny crippled for life? I'm dreaming, I thought in panic. I'm dreaming. I'll wake up at home or in the church and everything'll be like it used to be. But I didn't believe myself. Even if Johnny did live he'd be crippled and never play football or help us out in a rumble again. He'd have to stay in that house, he hated, where he wasn't wanted and things could never be like they used to be. I didn't trust myself to speak. If I said one word, the hard not in my throat would swell and I'd be crying in spit of myself. I took a deep breath and kept my mouth shut. Soda was awake by then, and although he looked stony-faced, as if he hadn't heard a word the doctor had said, his eyes were bleak and stunned. Serious reality had a hard time coming through to Soda, but when it does, it hits him hard. He looked like I felt when I had seen that black-haired Soc lying doubled up and still in the moonlight."**

"Hey! I can handle reality!" Soda said.

"Keep telling yourself that Soda," Pony muttered

"**Darry was rubbing the back of my head softly. "We'd better go home. We can't do anything here." In our Ford I was suddenly overcome with sleepiness. I leaned back and closed my eyes and we were home before I knew it. Soda was shaking me gently. "Hey, Ponyboy, wake up. You still got to get to the house." "Hmmmmm," I said sleepily, and lay down in the seat. I couldn't have gotten up to save my life. I could hear Soda and Darry, but as if from a great distance."**

"I knew it! I knew you could hear us!" Soda yelled and then proceeded to tickle his little brother.

"What was that for?" Pony asked after Soda finished.

"For not waking up. I was tired." Soda pouted.

""**Oh, come on, Ponyboy," Soda pleaded, shaking me a little harder, "we're sleepy, too." I guess Darry was tired of fooling around, because he picked me up and carried me in. "He's getting mighty big to be carried." Soda said. I wanted to tell him to shut up and let me sleep but I only yawned."**

Tim, Steve, and Two-Bit laughed.

"So that's what you were trying to say," Soda chuckled.

"Yeah." Pony shook his head.

""**He's sure lost a lot of weight," Darry said. I thought sleepily that I should at least pull off my shoes, but I didn't. I went to sleep the minute Darry tossed me on the bed. I'd forgotten how soft a bed really was. I was the first one up the next morning. Soda must have pulled off my shoes and shirt off for me; I was still wearing my jeans. He must have been too sleepy to undress himself though; he lay stretched out beside me fully clothed. I wiggled out from under his arm and pulled the blanket up over him, then went to take a shower. Asleep, he looked a lot younger than going on seventeen, but I had noticed that Johnny looked younger when he was asleep too, so I figured everyone did. Maybe people are younger when they are asleep."**

"Yep. You do too." Darry muttered into Pony's ear.

"Darry, did you have to state the obvious?" Two-Bit asked about the statement of Pony's weight.

"Well yeah, since you weren't there to do it."

"**After my shower, I put on some clean clothes and spent five minutes or so hunting for a hint of beard on my face and mourning over my hair. That bum haircut made my ears stick out. Darry was still asleep when I went into the kitchen to fix breakfast. The first one up has to fix breakfast and the other two do the dishes. That's the rule around our house and usually it's Darry who fixes breakfast and me and Soda who are left with the dishes. I hunted through the icebox and found some eggs. We all like our eggs done differently. I like them hard, Darry likes them in a bacon and tomato sandwich and Sodapop eats his with grape jelly. All of us like chocolate cake for breakfast. Mom had never allowed it with ham and eggs, but Darry lets Soda and me talk him into it. We really didn't have to twist his arm; Darry loves chocolate cake as much as we do. Sodapop always makes sure there's some in the icebox every night and if there isn't he cooks one up real quick. I like Darry's cakes better; Sodapop always puts too much sugar in the icing."**

"You got up before me?" Darry turned to his little brother in shock.

"Umm? You already knew this." Pony pointed out.

"Pony, stop making us hungry!" Two-Bit moaned, clutching his stomach.

"You just ate!" Steve said, in shock.

"I'm wounded Pony! I thought you loved me!" Soda cried.

"I do, just not your cakes."

"**I don't see how he stands jelly and eggs and chocolate cake all at once, but he seems to like it. Darry drinks black coffee, but Sodapop and I drink chocolate milk. We could have coffee if we wanted it, but we like chocolate milk. All three of us are crazy about chocolate stuff. Soda says if they ever make a chocolate cigarette I'll have it made."**

"So true." Tim, Steve, Darry, and Two-Bit muttered under their breath.

""**Anybody home?" a familiar voice called through the front screen, and Two-Bit and Steve came in. We always just stick our heads into each other's houses and holler "Hey" and walk in. Our front door is always unlocked in case one of the boys is hacked off at his parents and needs a place to lay over and cool off. We never could tell who we'd find stretched out on the sofa in the morning. It was usually Steve, whose father told him about once a week to get out and never come back. It kind of bugs Steve, even if his old man does give him five or six bucks the next day to make up for it."**

Steve clenched his fist. He hated his old man, hated that he controlled Steve with such ease.

"**Or it might be Dally, who lived anywhere he could. Once we even found Tim Shepard, leader of the Shepard gang and far from his own turf, reading the morning paper in the armchair. He merely looked up, said "Hi," and strolled out without staying for breakfast. Two-Bit's mother warned us about burglars, but Darry, flexing his muscles so that they bulged like oversized baseballs, drawled that he wasn't afraid of any burglars, and that we didn't really have anything worth taking."**

"What were you doing there, Tim?" Steve asked.

"Some Socs were chasing me, I was out of my territory, and your place was closest."

"**He'd risk a robbery, he said, if it meant keeping one of the boys from blowing up and robbing a gas station or something. So the door was never locked. "In here!" I yelled, forgetting that Darry and Sodapop were still asleep. "Don't slam the door." They slammed the door, of course, and Two-Bit came running into the kitchen."**

"Of course they did." Darry shook his head. He was already up when he heard the door slam.

"They always do." Soda finished.

"**He caught me by the upper arms and swung me around, ignoring the fact that I had two uncooked eggs in my hand. "Hey, Ponyboy," he cried gleefully, "long time no see." You would have thought it had been five years instead of five days since I'd seen him last, but I didn't mind. I like ol' Two-Bit; he's a good buddy to have."**

"Oh, thanks kid." Two-Bit said with a smile.

"You still owe me breakfast."

"Darn it."

"**He spun me into Steve, who gave me a playful slap on my bruised back and shoved me across the room."**

"Sorry, Pony." Steve said with a small smile.

"It's okay."

"**One of the eggs went flying. It landed on the clock and I tightened my grip on the other one, so that it crushed and ran all over my hand. "Now look what you did," I griped. "There went our breakfast. Can't you two wait until I set the eggs down before you go shovin' me all over the country?" I really was a little mad, because I had just realized how long it had been since I'd eaten anything. The last thing I'd eaten was a hot-fudge sundae at the Dairy Queen in Windrixville, and I was hungry."**

Two-Bit and Steve looked at each other, and were thankful that it'd only been a little griping. Pony without food was an grouch.

"**Two-Bit was walking in a slow circle around me, and I sighed because I knew what was coming. "Man, did baldy here!" he was staring at my head as he circled me. "I wouldn't have believed it. I thought all the wild Indians in Oklahoma had been tamed. What little squaw's got that tuff-lookin' mop of yours, Ponyboy?" "Aw, lay off." I said. I wasn't feeling too good in the first place, kind of like I was coming down with something."**

"We really were lucky." Steve whispered to Two-Bit.

"I think it was because he didn't want to wake up Darry or Soda." Two-Bit whispered back.

"**Two-Bit winked at Steve, and Steve said, "Why, he had to get a haircut to get his picture in the paper. They'd never believe a greasy-lookin' mug could be a hero. How do you like bein' a hero, big shot?" "How do I like **_**what**_**?""**

"Slow in the morning, Pony?"

"Shut it Soda."

""**Being a hero. You know"—he shoved the morning paper at me impatiently—" like a big shot, even." I stared at the newspaper. On the front page of the section was the headline: Juvenile Delinquents turn heroes. "What I like is the 'turn' bit," Two-Bit said, cleaning off the egg up the floor. "Y'all were heroes from the beginning. You didn't just 'turn' all of a sudden." I hardly heard him."**

"I'm wounded Pony."

"Good."

"**I was reading the paper. That whole page was covered with stories about us—the fight, the murder, the church burning, the Socs being drunk, everything. My picture was there, with Darry and Sodapop. The article told how Johnny and I had risked our lives saving those little kids, and there was a comment from one of the parents, who said that they would have all burned to death if it hadn't been for us. It told the whole story of our fight with the Socs—only they didn't say "Socs," because most grownups don't know about the battles that go on between us. They had interviewed Cherry Valance, and she said Bob had been drunk and that the boys had been looking for a fight when they took her home. Bob had told her he'd fix us for picking up his girl. His buddy Randy Adderson, who had helped up us, also said it was their fault and that we'd only fought back in self-defense. But they were charging Johnny with manslaughter. Then I discovered that I was supposed to appear in juvenile court for running away, and Johnny was too, if he recovered."**

"Okay what happened to Two-Bit?" Darry asked. "That's the longest I've gone without getting interrupted."

"He's in the bathroom." Soda answered. Sure enough, the toilet flushed and out walked Two-Bit.

**(Not **_**if, **_**I thought again. Why do they keep saying **_**if**_**?)**

"To annoy you." Tim said, rolling his eyes.

"It worked."

"**For once, there were no charges against Dally, and I knew he'd be mad because the paper made him out a hero for saving Johnny and didn't say much about his police record, which he was kind of proud of. He'd kill those reporters if he got hold of them. There was another column about just Darry and Soda and me: how Darry worked on two jobs at once and made good at both of them, and about his outstanding record at school; it mentioned Sodapop dropping out of school so we could stay together, and that I made the honor roll at school all the time and might be a future track star. (Oh, yeah, I forgot—I'm on the A-squad track team, the youngest one. I'm a good runner.)"**

"Better than good!" Two-Bit yelled, as he'd seen one or two of his matches. Pony blushed.

"**Then it said we shouldn't be separated after we had worked so hard to stay together. The meaning of that last line finally hit me. "You mean…."—I swallowed hard—"that they're thinking of putting me and Soda in a boy's home or something?" Steve was carefully combing back his hair in complicated swirls. "Somthin' like that." I sat down in a daze. We couldn't get hauled off now. Not after me and Darry finally got through to each other, and now that the big rumble was coming up and we would settle this Soc-greaser thing once and for all. Not now, when Johnny needed us and Dally was still in the hospital and wouldn't be out for the rumble."**

"Only you, Pony, only you." Soda shook his head. Only his little brother would put his relationship with Darry on the same level as the rumble.

""**No," I said out loud, and Two-Bit, who was scraping the egg off the clock, turned to stare at me. "No what?" "No, they ain't goin' to put us in a boy's home." "Don't worry about it," Steve said, cocksure that he and Sodapop could handle anything that came up. "They don't do things like that to heroes. Where's Soda and Superman?" That was as far as he got, because Darry, shaved and dressed, came in behind Steve and lifted him up off the floor, then dropped him. We all call Darry "Superman" or "Muscles" at one time or another; but one time Steve made the mistake of referring to him as "all brawn and no brain," and Darry almost shattered Steve's jaw."**

Steve gulped at Darry's glare and felt his jaw. To this day, he still remembered the punch.

"**Steve didn't call him that again, but Darry never forgave him; Darry has never really gotten over not going to college. That was the only time I've ever seen Soda mad at Steve, although Soda attaches no importance to education. School bored Soda. No action."**

"Not true!" Soda said.

"You ain't dumb Soda so drop it." Darry said, looking at his little brother.

"**Soda came running in."**

"Speak of the devil." Steve laughed.

""**Where's that blue shirt I washed yesterday?" he took a swig of chocolate milk out of the container. "Hate to tell you, buddy," Steve said, still flat on the floor, "but you have to wear clothes to work. There's a law or something." "Oh, yeah," Soda said. "Where're those wheat jeans, too?" "I ironed. They're in my closet," Darry said. "Hurry up, you're gonna be late." Soda ran back, muttering, "I'm hurryin', I'm hurryin'." Steve followed him and in a second there was the general racket of a pillow fight.**

"Of course there was." Tim shook his head. "How is the house still standing?"

"With luck." Darry told him.

"**I absent-mindedly watched Darry as he searched the icebox for chocolate cake." **

"I could feel your eyes on me. I was wondering what you wanted to talk about." Darry leaned over and ruffled Pony's hair.

""**Darry," I said suddenly, "did you know about the juvenile court?" Without turning to look at me he said evenly, "Yeah, the cops told me last night." I knew then that he realized that we might be separated. I didn't want to worry him any more, but I said, "I had one of those dreams last night. The one I can't even remember.""**

"What!" Soda shouted. He looked at Darry and Pony. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I forgot." Darry put his hands up to placate his little brother.

"I didn't want to worry you." Pony muttered.

"You two will be the death of me" Soda muttered, rubbing his face.

"**Darry spun around to face me, genuine fear on his face. "What?" I had a nightmare the night of Mom and Dad's funeral. I'd had nightmares and wild dreams every once in a while when I was little, but nothing like this one. I woke up screaming bloody murder. And I could never remember what it was that had scared me. It scared Sodapop and Darry almost as bad as it scared me; for night after night, for weeks on end, I would dream this dream and wake up in a cold sweat or screaming. And I could never remember exactly what happened in it. Soda began sleeping with me, and it stopped recurring so often, but it happened enough for Darry to take me to a doctor. The doctor said I had too much imagination."**

"That doctor hated us. I was happy after he said that. It meant we didn't have to see him again." Darry sighed.

"**He had a simple cure, too: Study harder, read more, draw more, and play football more. After a hard game of football and four or five hours of reading, I was too exhausted, mentally and physically, to dream anything. But Darry never got over it, and every once in a while he would ask me if I ever dreamed any more. "Was it very bad?" Two-Bit questioned. He knew the whole story, and never dreamed about anything but blondes, he was interested."**

"Hey!" Two-Bit shouted.

"Nice one kid." Steve laughed along with Tim and Soda.

""**No," I lied. I had awakened in a cold sweat and shivering, but Soda was dead to the world. I had just wiggled closer to him and stayed away for a couple of hours, trembling under his arm. That dream scared the heck out of me. Darry started to say something, but before he could begin, Sodapop and Steve came in. "You know what?" Sodapop said to no one in particular. "When we stomp the Socies good, me and Steve here are gonna throw a big party and everybody can get stoned, Then we'll go chase the Socs clear to Mexico.""**

"I think you've got the order backwards Soda. If we were stoned, then we wouldn't want to do anything." Pony said. Then he flushed as he felt all eyes drift towards him.

"How do you know this?" Soda and Darry asked at the same time.

"Curly might have told me once or twice."

Tim shook his head. "Keep reading Darry. I doubt the kid did anything illegal."

""**Where you gonna get the dough, little man?" Darry had found the cake and started handing out pieces." **

"And you're encouraging it." Tim shook his head with amusement. It was nice to know that Darry had a fun lovin' side as well.

""**I'll think of somethin'," Sodapop assured him between bites. "You going to take Sandy to the party?" I asked, just to be saying something. Instant silence."**

Just like in the room. Darry glanced over at his brother and was glad to see that the reaction wasn't as sever as it was two years ago. He still missed Sandy, but he wasn't as depressed.

"**I looked around. "What's the deal?" Sodapop was staring at his feet, but his ears were reddening. "No. She went to live with her grandmother in Florida." "How come?" "Look," Steve said, surprisingly angry, "does he have to draw you a picture? It was either that or get married, and her parents almost hit the roof at the idea of her marryin' a sixteen year old." "Seventeen," Soda said softly. "I'll be seventeen in a couple of weeks.""**

Steve winced; maybe he'd been a little too harsh on the kid. He'd just gotten back after all.

"Yeah Steve, get it right." Two-Bit chuckled. Tim threw a pillow into his face.

""**Oh," I said, embarrassed. Soda was no innocent; I had been in on bull sessions and his bragging was as loud as anyone's. But never about Sandy. Not ever about Sandy. I remembered how her blue eyes had glowed when she looked at him, and I was sorry for her. There was a heavy silence. Then Darry said, "We'd better get on to work, Pepsi-Cola." Darry rarely called Soda by Dad's pet nickname for him, but he did so then because he knew how miserable Sodapop was about Sandy."**

"Thanks Dar." Soda said. He'd missed his old nickname.

"No problem Soda."

""**I hate to leave you here by yourself, Ponyboy," Darry said slowly. "Maybe I ought to take the day off." "I've stayed by my lonesome before. You can't afford a day off." "Yeah, but you just got back and I really ought to stay." "I'll baby-sit him," Two-Bit said, ducking as I took a swing at him. "I haven't anything better to do." "Why don't you get a job?" Steve said. "Ever consider working for a living?""**

"Good point Steve!" Pony said. "Why don't you work, Two-Bit?"

"Same reason you don't."

Soda though was worried that Pony hadn't wanted to stay with Darry. How was their relationship gonna improve if Pony was avoiding Darry?

""**Work?" Two-Bit was aghast. "And ruin my rep? I wouldn't be baby-sittin' the kid here if I knew some good day-nursery open on Saturdays." I pulled his chair over backward and jumped on him, but he had me down in a second. I was kind of short on wind. I've got to cut back on smoking or I won't make track next year."**

Darry shot Pony a look.

"Alright, I'll cut back. Sheesh."

"**Holler uncle." "Nope," I said, struggling, but I didn't have my usual strength. Darry was pulling on his jacket. "You two do up the dishes. You can go to the movies if you want before you go see dally and Johnny." He paused for a second, watching Two-Bit squash the heck out of me. "Two-Bit, lay off. He ain't lookin' so good. Ponyboy, you take a couple of aspirins and go easy. You smoke more than a pack today and I'll skin you. Understood?"**

Darry looked at Pony. "You know I never did find out how much you smoked that day."

"He only smoked one weed, Darry." Two-Bit said, not wanting to getting the kid in trouble.

""**Yeah," I said, getting to my feet. "You carry more than one bundle of roofing at a time today and me and Soda'll skin you. Understood?" He grinned one of his rare grins. "Yeah. See y'all this afternoon." "Bye," I said. I heard our Ford's **_**vvrrrrooooom **_** and thought: Soda's driving."**

"Hey! I'm not that bad!" Soda protested.

"Yes you are Pepsi Cola. Yes you are." Darry said, through his laughter.

"**And they left. "…anyway, I was walking around downtown and started to take this short cut through an alley"—Two-Bit was telling me about one of his many exploits while we did the dishes. I mean, while I did the dishes. He was sitting on the cabinet, sharpening that black-handled switchblade he was so proud of—"…and I ran into three guys. I says 'Howdy' and they just look at each other. Then one says 'We could jump you but since you're as slick as us we figure you don't have nothin' worth takin'.' I says 'Buddy, that's the truth' and went right on. Moral: What's the safest thing to be when one is met by a gang of social outcasts in an alley?""**

"Dally?" Steve asked.

"Tim?" Soda asked.

"Darry?" Tim asked.

""**A judo expert?" I suggested." **

"Another excellent guess." Soda grinned.

""**No, another social outcast!" Two-Bit yelped, and nearly fell off the cabinet from laughing so hard. I had to grin, too. He saw things straight and made them into something funny. "We're gonna clean up the house," I said. "The reporters or police or somebody might come by, and anyway, it's time for those guys from the state to come by and check up on us." "This house ain't messy. You oughtta see my house.""**

"I thought torture was illegal?" Tim asked.

"It is."

"Then why is Two-Bit offering to torture the kid by inviting him over to his messy house?"

"Dunno."

""**I have. And if you had the sense of a billy goat you'd try to help around your place instead of bumming around." **

"Nice one kid." Steve gasped out. Everyone else was too busy laughing to speak.

"**Shoot, kid, if I ever did that my mom would die of shock." I liked Two-Bit's mother. She had the same good humor and easygoing ways that he did. She wasn't' lazy like him but she let him get away with murder. I don't know, though—it's just about impossible to get mad at him. When we had finished, I pulled on Dally's brown leather jacket—the back was burned black—and we started for Tenth Street. "I would drive us," Two-Bit said as we waked up the street trying to hitch a ride, "but the brakes are out on my car. Almost killed me and Kathy the other night.""**

"Because you're too lazy to get them checked regularly and so are surprised when they fail." Steve gripped.

"To get them checked costs money Steve." Two-Bit shot back.

"You know a mechanic who'll do it for free!"

"**He flipped the collar of his black leather jacket up to serve as s windbreak while he lit a cigarette. "You oughtta see Kathy's brother. Now there's a hood. He's so greasy he glides when he walks. He goes to the barber for an oil change, not a hair cut." I would have laughed, but I had a terrific headache. We stopped by the tasty Freeze to buy cokes and rest up, and the blue Mustang that had been trailing us for eight blocks pulled in. I almost decided to run, and Two-Bit must have guessed this, for he shook his head ever so slightly and tossed me a cigarette."**

"See Dar? Only one!" Pony said at Darry's look of disbelief.

"**As I lit up, the Socs who had jumped Johnny and me at the park hopped out of the Mustang. I recognized Randy Adderson, Marcia's boyfriend, and the tall guy that had almost drowned me. I hated them. It was there fault Bob was dead; their fault Johnny was dying; their fault Soda and I might get put in a boy's home. I hated them as bitterly and as contemptuously as Dally Winston hated."**

"Is that even possible?" Steve asked.

"I didn't think it was." Soda said in shock.

"**Two-Bit put an elbow on my shoulder and leaned against me, dragging on his cigarette. "You know the rules. No jazz before the rumble," he said to the Socs. "We know," Randy said. He looked at me. "Come here. I want to talk to you." I glanced at Two-Bit. He shrugged. I followed Randy over to his car, out of earshot of the rest. We sat there in his car for a second, silent. Golly, that was the tuffest car I've ever been in. "I read about you in the paper," Randy said finally."**

"He can read?" Two-Bit asked in shock.

"You let him go into a Soc's car alone?" Soda glared at Two-Bit.

"Just read Darry," Pony motioned for his eldest brother to read.

""**How come?" "I don't know. Maybe I felt like playing the hero." "I wouldn't have. I would have let those kids burn to death." "You might not have. You might have done the same thing." Randy pulled out a cigarette and pressed in the car lighter. "I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I would never have believed a greaser could pull something like that." "'Greaser' didn't have anything to do with it."**

"You tell him, Pon." Darry smiled. He loved hearing about his youngest brother getting mouthy with Socs. Just not when they were drunk and wanted to kill him.

"**My buddy over there wouldn't have don't it. Maybe you would have don't the same thing, maybe a friend of yours wouldn't have. It's the individual.""**

"Uncalled for, kid." Two-Bit muttered.

"But oh so true." Steve said grinning.

Soda just smiled at his little brother. Who knew he was so wise?

""**I'm not going to show at the rumble tonight," Randy said slowly."**

"Does everyone talk slowly in this book?" Tim complained. "Johnny, this Soc…" he trailed off.

"Good point."

"**I took a good look at him. He was seventeen or so, but he was already old. Like Dallas was old. Cherry had said her friends were too cool to feel anything, and yet she could remember watching sunsets Randy was supposed to be too cool to feel anything, and yet there was pain in his eyes. "I'm sick of all this. Sick and tired. Bob was a good guy. He was the best buddy a guy ever had. I mean, he was a good fighter and tuff and everything, but he was a real person too. You dig?" I nodded. "He's dead—his mother has had a nervous breakdown."**

Everyone exchanged glances. They may have hated Bob but there was no need to hate the parents.

Soda felt sorry for her. He remembered Bob from school. A little annoying, but a relatively good guy for a Soc. Well, until he decided it'd be a good idea to jump Johnny and then Pony.

Darry grimaced, He could easily put himself in the mother's shoes as it might have been him who had the breakdown when his parents died if it hadn't been for his brothers and the gang.

Pony frowned. He didn't remember that part of the conversation.

"**They spoiled him rotten. I mean, most parents would be proud of a kid like that—good-lookin' and smart and everything, but they gave in to him all the time. He kept trying to make someone say 'No' and they never did. They never did. That was what he wanted. For someone to tell him 'No.' To have someone lay down the law, set the limits, give him something solid to stand on."**

"Well, Pony's like that and we've no problem telling him no," Soda chuckled. It was true. Except for being a Soc, Pony had great grades and certainly was good looking.

"**That's what we all want, really. One time…"—Randy tried to grin, but I could tell he was close to tears—"one time he came home drunker than anything. He thought sure they were gonna raise the roof. You know what they did? They thought it was something **_**they'd **_** done. They thought it was their fault—that they'd failed him and driven him to it or something. They took all the blame and didn't do anything to him. If his old man had just belted him—just once, he might still be alive. I don't know why I'm telling you this."**

"I still don't know why he decided to tell me that," Pony muttered.

"Man kid, what's with Socs confessing their secrets to you? First Cherry now this guy." Two-Bit shook his head.

"**I couldn't tell anyone else. My friends—they'd think I was off my rocker or turning soft. Maybe I am. I just know that I'm sick of this whole mess. That kid—you buddy, the one that got burned—he might die?" "Yeah," I said, trying not to think of Johnny."**

"He had to bring that up," Tim growled.

"He wasn't being mean. He was using that as example of how the gang warfare between our two gangs is gonna kill us all." Pony said absentmindedly.

""**And tonight…people get hurt in rumbles, maybe killed. I'm sick of it because it doesn't do any good. You can't win, you know that, don't you?" And when I remained silent he went on: "You can't win, even if you whip us. You'll still be where you where before—at the bottom. And we'll still be the lucky ones with all the breaks. So it doesn't do any good, the fighting and the killing. It doesn't prove a thing. We'll forget it if win, or if you don't. Greasers will still be greasers and Socs will still be Socs. Sometimes I think it's the ones in the middle that are really the lucky stiffs…""**

"He makes a good point. When you're in the middle class, you don't have to worry about getting jumped. You can enjoy life." Soda said, reluctantly.

"**he took a deep breath. "So I'd fight if I thought it would do any good. I think I might leave town. Take my little old Mustang and all the dough I can carry and get out." "Running away won't help." "Oh, hell, I know it," Randy half- sobbed, "but what can I do? I'm marked chicken if I punk out at the rumble, and I'd hate myself if I didn't. I don't know what to do." "I'd help you if I could," I said. I remembered Cherry's voice: **_** Things are rough all over. **_**I knew then what she meant."**

Everyone looked at Pony, who started to fidget at the looks.

Darry smiled. It just seemed like his youngest brother to try to help out even his worst enemy.

"**He looked at me. "No, you wouldn't. I'm a Soc. You get a little money and the whole world hates you." "No," I said, "you hate the whole world." He just looked at me—from the way he looked he could have been ten years older than he was. I got out of the car."**

"Good." Tim nodded his head.

Soda agreed but kept quiet. Though nothing had happened, he was tense and was happy when his brother decided to leave that car.

""**You would have saved those kids if you had been there," I said. "You'd have saved them the same as we did." "Thanks, grease," he said, trying to grin. Then he stopped. "I didn't mean that. I meant, thanks, kid.""**

Tim mashed his head into a pillow.

"Oh don't mind him." Two-Bit said. "His whole belief system is crashing down is all."

The gang chuckled.

"**My name's Ponyboy," I said. "Nice talkin' to you, Randy." I walked over to Two-Bit, and Randy honked for his friends to come and get into the car. "What'd he want?" Two-Bit asked. "What'd Mr. Super-Soc have to say?" "He ain't a Soc," I said, "he's just a guy. He just wanted to talk."**

"Yeah Two-Bit," Steve teased. "Can't you tell a Soc from a guy who just wants to chat?"

"Shut it Randle. If you were there you'd probably start the rumble five hours head of time."

"True."

""**You want to go see a movie before we go see Johnny and Dallas?" "Nope," I said, lighting up another weed."**

"Okay, so I smoked two," Pony said at Darry's look. "It's not like it's gonna kill me."

"Pony not wanting to see a movie? The world must be ending!" Soda exclaimed.

"**I still had a headache, but I felt better. Socs were just guys after all. Things were rough all over, but it was better that way. That way you could tell the other guy was human too. "**

"That's the end of the chapter." Darry said. "Who wants to read next?"

"Oh just give it here." Steve said. "Continue the pattern and all that crap."

A/N: Whoo! An update!

Sorry it's so late, but I've been busy.

Please review.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

A/N: I do not own the Outsiders

"Alright. Chapter Eight," Steve sighed.

**The nurses wouldn't let us see Johnny. He was in critical condition. No visitors. But Two-Bit wouldn't take no for an answer. That was his buddy in there and he aimed to see him.**

"Good job, Two-Bit." Soda said, patting him on the back.

"Like the essay said, my buddy was in there." Two-Bit said and smiled. If anyone looked close enough, they'd have seen that the smile hadn't gone up to his eyes.

**We both begged and pleaded, but we were getting nowhere until the doctor found out what was going on.**

"Whoo! You're gonna see Johnny." Steve cheered, trying to keep the mood from going into a pit of despair.

**"Let them go in," he said to the nurse. "He's been asking for them. It can't hurt now." **

Soda stiffened as Steve read this. He'd known Johnny was in bad shape, but he hadn't known just how bad. If the doctor was giving up, he knew it had to be bad.

**Two-Bit didn't notice the expression in his voice. It's true, I thought numbly, he is dying. We went in, practically on tiptoe, because the quietness of the hospital scared us. **

"Nice one kid," Tim shook his head at the statement. He was the only one who was still unaware of the extent of the damage Johnny had sustained.

**Johnny was lying still, with his eyes closed, but when Two-Bit said, "Hey, Johnnykid," he opened them and looked at us, trying to grin. "Hey, y'all." **

"Should he have been talking?" Darry muttered to Soda. "Wouldn't it have been better if he saved his strength?"

"Dar, I don't know." Soda whispered back. "Besides that, the fact that he talked at all with the pain he probably was in is amazing."

**The nurse, who was pulling the shades open, smiled and said, "So he can talk after all." Two-Bit looked around. "They treatin' you okay, kid?" "Don't…"—Johnny gasped—"don't let me put enough grease on my hair."**

"Oh, the torture!" Tim cried, but stopped when he saw the grim looks on the others' faces.

"**Don't talk," Two-Bit said, pulling up a chair, "just listen. We'll bring you some hair grease next time.**

_If only there'd been a next time, _Two-Bit thought. He was kicking himself for not going with Dally and Pony when they went to the hospital. At least they got to say goodbye.

**We're having the big rumble tonight." Johnny's huge black eyes widened a little, but he didn't say anything. "It's too bad you and Dally can't be in it.**

At this, everyone smirked at the memory of Dally running up to the group before the rumble. It just seemed like a Dally thing to do.

**It's the first big rumble we've had—not counting the time we whipped Shepard's outfit."**

"I'll let it slide, only because you're talking to the kid," Tim growled. He hated any reminder of his gang's loss to the Curtis gang.

"**He came by," Johnny said. "Tim Shepard?"**

"No, the milkman," Tim said sarcastically. "Of course I came by you idiot."

"I was surprised." Two-Bit said in his defense.

**Johnny nodded. "Came to see Dally." Tim and Dallas had always been buddies. "Did you know you got your name in the paper for being a hero?" Johnny almost grinned as he nodded. "Tuff enough," he managed, and by the way his eyes were glowing, I figured Southern gentlemen had nothing on Johnny Cade.**

"Which means that Johnny's better than Soda," Steve said with a smug grin.

"Read, Randle." Tim growled. He was annoyed by the constant interruptions.

**I could see that even a few words were tiring him out; he was as pale as the pillow and looked awful. Two-Bit pretended not to notice. "You want anything besides hair grease, kid?" Johnny barely nodded. "The book"—he looked at me—"can you get another one?" Two-Bit looked at me too.**

"Err? Why?" Soda asked. Everyone but Two-Bit and Pony shrugged.

**I hadn't told him about **_**Gone with the Wind**_**.**

"Ah." Soda smirked. "

"**He wants a copy of **_**Gone with the Wind**_** so I can read it to him," I explained. "You want to run down to the drugstore and get one?" "Okay," Two-Bit said cheerfully. "Don't y'all run off."**

_You idiot, why didn't you stay, or taken less time in that store? That broad could have waited another two hours, or even another day, _Two-Bit thought. Had he known that that would have been the last time he would see Johnny alive, he'd have stayed longer.

"Don't beat yourself up, Two-Bit," Ponyboy whispered to him. "I was the one to ask."

"But I was the one to leave, kid." Two-Bit pointed out. "You went back to him."

**I sat down in Two-Bit's chair and tried to think of something to say. "Dally's gonna be okay," I said finally. "And Darry and me, we're okay now."**

Darry smiled, though it was a tight one. While he was happy that his relationship with his brother had improved, he was beating himself up by not staying home with Pony. Maybe then, he could have seen Johnny too.

**I knew Johnny knew what I meant. We had always been close buddies, and those lonely days in the church strengthened our friendship. He tried to smile again, and then suddenly went white and closed his eyes tight. "Johnny!" I said, alarmed. "Are you okay?" He nodded, keeping his eyes closed. "Yeah, it just hurts sometimes. It usually don't…I can't feel anything below the middle of my back."**

Soda grimaced as Steve read that. He felt bad that he hadn't gone and seen Johnny after work. Heck, five minutes would have been enough. But work had gone on later than normal—a lot more broads needed work done on their cars for some reason—and Soda only had enough time to get home and eat.

**He lay breathing heavily for a moment. "I'm pretty bad off, ain't I, Pony?" "You'll be okay," I said with fake cheerfulness.**

"Good friend, Pony." Two-Bit muttered. "Better than me, at least."

"Stop it Two-Bit. At least you told off his mother."

"**You gotta be. We couldn't get along without you." The truth of that last statement hit me. We couldn't get along without him. We needed Johnny as much as he needed the gang. And for the same reason. "I won't be able to walk again," Johnny started, then faltered. "Not even on crutches. Busted my back."**

_I wish that's all he had to worry about,_ Steve thought as he read. Sure, he'd be stuck in that house of his, but at least he'd be alive.

"**You'll be okay," I repeated firmly. Don't start crying, I commanded myself, don't start crying, you'll scare Johnny. "You want to know something, Ponyboy? I'm scared stiff. I used to talk about killing myself…" He drew a quivering breath. "I don't want to die now. it ain't long enough. Sixteen years ain't long enough. I wouldn't mind it so much if there wasn't so much stuff I ain't done yet. It's not fair.**

_Ain't that the truth, _Soda thought. It wasn't fair that Johnny had died at such a young age, and it wasn't fair that before that he'd been so miserable that he thought of killing himself.

**You know what? That time we were in Windrixville was the only time I've been away from our neighborhood."**

"Like his folks would take him anywhere if they were sober," Soda muttered. "They were almost always drunk anyway, or his dad was at least."

"**You ain't gonna die," I said, trying to hold my voice down. "And don't get juiced up, cause the doc won't let us see you no more if you do." Sixteen years on the streets and you can learn a lot. But all the wrong things, not the things you want to learn. Sixteen years on the street and you see a lot. But all the wrong sights, not the sights you want to see. Johnny closed his eyes and rested quietly for a minute. Years of living on the East Side teaches you how to shut off your emotions. If you didn't, you would explode. You learn to cool it.**

Darry and Soda glanced at their little brother, and then looked at each other. How many times had there been a miscommunication between the three of them just because they didn't know how to talk to each other? Emotions could be used against you, but it's what helped keep their family together as well.

**A nurse appeared in the doorway. "Johnny," she said quietly, "your mother's here to see you."**

"What the fuck?" Soda sputtered. Darry was so shocked at that line that he didn't even tell Soda off for swearing.

"You're joking, right?" Tim asked Steve. Although he didn't know Johnny well (or at all) he'd heard enough from Dally to know how much Johnny hated his parents and vice versa.

**Johnny opened his eyes. At first they were wide with surprise, then they darkened. "I don't want to see her," he said firmly.**

"This essay's full of surprises," Steve muttered. First Johnny's mother actually wanted to see her son, and then Johnny refusing to see his mother. Johnny yearned for her love when he was alive. It was a shame that he realized what she really was too late.

"**She's your mother."**

"Don't remind us," Pony muttered.

"**I said I don't want to see her." His voice was rising. "She's probably come to tell me all the trouble I'm causing her and about how glad her and the old man'll be when I'm dead. Well, tell her to leave me alone. For once"—his voice broke—"for once just to leave me alone." **

Everyone was shocked by Johnny's speech. He'd always stuck up for his parents, even though he knew they were worthless pieces of garbage who didn't deserve to have a great kid like Johnny.

**He was struggling to sit up, but he suddenly gasped, went whiter than the pillowcase, and passed out cold. The nurse hurried me out the door. "I was afraid something like this would happen if he saw anyone." **

"She's blaming _you_?" Soda asked, looking at Pony. "She's the idiot who told him his harpy of a mother wanted to see him."

"Harpy, Soda?" Steve asked him.

"Work with me," Soda replied. He didn't want to admit that he'd read one or two of Pony's books when he worked the cash register at the DX. He just wanted to see what his brothers got out of it.

**I ran into Two-Bit who was coming in. "You can't see him now," the nurse said, so Two-Bit handed her the book. "Make sure he can see it when he comes around." She took it and closed the door behind her. Two-Bit looked at the door a long time.**

_Why didn't I get there faster? _Two-Bit thought again.

"**I wish it was any one of us except Johnny," he said, and his voice was serious for once. "We could get along without anyone but Johnny." Turning abruptly, he said, "Let's go see Dallas."**

The room seemed stifling with all the tension. The two members who they missed more than anything were Dally and Johnny and those were the two who were mentioned back to back.

**As we walked out into the hall, we saw Johnny's mother.**

"Pleasant," Steve snorted.

**I knew her.**

"Regrettably," Pony muttered.

**She was a little woman, with straight black hair and big black eyes like Johnny's.**

"Wha…you…" Soda was speechless.

"Keep reading Steve." Pony told him.

**But that was as far as the resemblance went.**

"Much better," Soda said with a nod. Pony just shook his head at his brother's antics.

**Johnnycake's eyes were fearful and sensitive; her's were cheap and hard. As we passed her she was saying, "But I have a right to see him.**

"No you don't. Seeing as you didn't do anything for him when he was alive," Two-Bit glared at the essay.

**He's my son.**

"Not by his choice," Steve growled.

"Steve, calm down. I actually want this essay intact," Pony said when he noticed how tight Steve's hands were becoming.

"Some people should not be parents," Darry shook his head. He remembered something his father used to tell him: You need a license to drive a car, but any idiot can be a parent.

**After all the trouble—**

Steve had to stop reading for a minute due to all the shouting that occurred after that line. It sounded as if a bomb had gone off.

"TROUBLE?" Soda yelled incredulously. "What trouble? Beating him at every chance and generally ignoring him counts as trouble? If that's the case, then they should be saints!"

"Pepsi-Cola, calm down!" Darry hollered. "It ain't gonna change anything that happened with you yellin'."

"Can we go and teach those two a lesson?" Steve asked, his eyes hard. Even Two-Bit, who was usually easy going in nature, had a frown on his face.

"No, you can't. They'll get their due someday." Pony said. Steve frowned, but picked up the book and continued reading.

**After all the trouble his father and I've gone to raise him, this is our reward! He'd rather see those no-count hoodlums than his own folks…"**

"And with good reason!" Tim said, nodding his head. "Anyone with a brain would rather see Two-Bit and the kid than that foul woman."

"Don't hold back Tim, tell us how you really feel." Pony smirked.

"Cheeky kid," Tim muttered.

**She saw us and gave us such a look of hatred that I almost backed up.**

"Good. Don't get too close to her."

Everyone looked at Darry with shock. Soda saying that, they'd expect. Tim they counted on. But Darry?

"What? They'd had their water cut off a few days before this. She must have reeked."

"She kinda did." Pony admitted. "But I didn't want to embarrass her and put it in there."

"**It was your fault.**

"You didn't listen to her, did ya Pon?" Soda asked his little brother.

"I think she was drunk," Pony said in response. "So, no I didn't."

**Always running around in the middle of the night getting jailed and heaven knows what else…"**

"I think she confused you with Dally," Tim smirked. "He's the one who had the record of the greaser community."

**I thought she was going to cuss us out. I really did. Two-Bit's eyes got narrow and I was afraid he was gonna start something. I don't like to hear women get sworn at, even if they did deserve it.**

"Go Two-Bit!" Soda cheered. "Tell off that harpy!"

"Okay, we're gonna talk and you're gonna tell me why you keep calling her a harpy," Darry smirked. "And you're right, Pony. Women at least shouldn't get sworn at." _Neither should you, _Darry thought looking at Pony.

"**No wonder he hates your guts," Two-Bit snapped.**

Two-Bit was hailed like a hero by the people in the room who hadn't heard it.

"Two-Bit, I'm buying you a drink at Buck's later. Remind me, alright?" Steve said, smiling. He'd promised himself that he'd buy a drink for whoever managed to tell that woman off.

**He was going to tell her off real god, but I shoved him along. I felt sick. No wonder Johnny didn't want to see her. No wonder he stayed overnight at Two-Bit's or at our house, and slept in the vacant lot in good weather. I remembered my mother…beautiful and golden, like Soda, and wise and firm, like Darry.**

"See, Darry? I'm better!" Soda said.

"Huh?" Pony, Tim, Two-Bit and Steve asked.

"An argument we had after Pony was born," Darry said, then looked at Soda. "I can't believe you still remember that!"

"How is Soda better?" Two-Bit asked.

"I'm golden; it even says so. Written proof," Soda said with a smirk.

"But wouldn't it be better to be wise?" Pony asked innocently. He smirked as Soda's face fell.

"You cruel brother," Soda shook his head and then proceeded to tickle Pony.

"Say it! Say that I'm better!"

Pony was able to last a few minutes, but had to give in.

"Information under torture. Doesn't count." Darry said, shaking his head. Steve proceeded to read.

**"Oh, lordy!" There was a catch in Two-Bit's voice and he was closer to tears than I'd ever seen him. "He has to live with that."**

"Kid, why'd you have to notice that?" Two-Bit whined. "I mean, you—"

"Yes, I know." Pony interrupted. "I notice everything. Now, stop mentioning it!"

**We hurried to the elevator to get to the next floor. I hoped the nurse would have enough sense not to let Johnny's mother see him. It would kill him.**

_It only saved him mere hours, _was the thought of everyone in the room.

**Dally was arguing with one of the nurses when we came in. He grinned at us. "Man, am I glad to see you! These—hospital people won't let me smoke, and I want out!" We sat down , grinning at each other. Dally was his usual mean, ornery self. He was okay.**

"I actually think he was nicer," Pony muttered to Two-Bit.

"He was worried about Johnny," Two-Bit muttered back. "Of course he was nicer."

**"Shepard came by to see me a while ago." "That's what Johnny said. What'd he want?" "Said he saw my picture in the paper and couldn't believe it didn't have 'Wanted Dead or Alive' under it.**

"So true. When I saw that, I nearly choked." Tim said, smirking. "How'd no one try to arrest him anyway?"

"Would you want to be the cop who arrested a hero?" Pony asked. "There was no mention of Dally's record, so the public would have probably have backed Dally instead of the cop."

**He mostly came in to rub it in about the rumble. Man, I hate not bein' in that."**

"He had to show up," Tim shook his head. "That…" He then proceeded to call Dally a series of unprintable words. Pony moved next to Steve so that Darry would be unable to clasp his hands over his ears.

**Only last week Tim Shepard had cracked three of Dally's ribs. But Dally and Tim Shepard had always been buddies; no matter how they fought, they were two of a kind and they knew it.**

"Naw. I think Dallas was crazier." Tim chuckled.

**Dally was grinning at me. "Kid, you scared the devil outa me the other day. I thought I'd killed you." "Me?" I said, puzzled. "Why?" "When you jumped out of that church. I meant to hit you just hard enough to knock you down and put out the fire, but when you dropped like a ton of lead I thought I'd aimed too high and broke your neck." He thought for a minute. "I'm glad I didn't, though."**

"We are too," Soda and Darry nodded their heads.

"What might have happened if Dally had accidently killed the kid?" Steve whispered to Two-Bit.

"Darry would have pummeled him within an inch of his life, taken a break to let Soda have a chance, and then both of them would have disposed of the body."

"**I'll bet," I said, with a grin. I'd never liked Dally—but then, for the first time, I felt like he was my buddy. And all because he was glad he hadn't killed me. **

"You are a strange kid," Two-Bit shook his head.

**Dally looked out the window. "Uh…" –he sounded very casual—"how's the kid?" "We just left him," Two-Bit said, and I could tell that he was debating whether to tell Dally the truth or not. "I don't know about stuff like this…but…well, he seemed pretty bad to me. He passed out cold before we left him." Dally's jaw line went white as he swore between clenched teeth. "Two-Bit, you still got that fancy black-handled switch?" **

"Random." Soda blinked.

Pony however was mentally kicking himself for not seeing how much Johnny's condition had affected Dally.

"**Yeah." "Give it here." **

"Wow. He needed a blade," Steve whistled. "Umm? Why did he need a blade?"

**Two-Bit reached into his black pocket for his prize possession. It was a jet-handled switchblade, ten inches long, that would flash open at a mere breath. It was the reward of two hours of walking aimlessly around a hardware store to divert suspicion. He kept it razor sharp. As far as I knew, he had never pulled it on anyone; he used his plain pocketknife when he needed a blade. But it was his showpiece, his pride and joy—every time he ran into a new hood he pulled it out and showed off with it. Dally knew how much that knife meant to Two-Bit, and if he needed a blade bad enough to ask for it, well, he needed a blade. That was all there was to it. **

Pony shot a glare to every person in the room; daring them to mention how much he noticed.

**Two-Bit handed it over to Dally without a moment's hesitation. "We gotta win that fight tonight," Dally said. His voice was hard. "We gotta get even with the Socs. For Johnny." He put the switch under his pillow and lay back, staring at the ceiling. We left. We knew better than to talk to Dally when his eyes were blazing and he was in a mood like that.**

"We'd be the ones missing the rumble instead if we'd stayed," Pony muttered.

**We decided to catch a bus home. I just didn't feel much like walking or trying to hitch a ride. Two-Bit left me sitting on the bench at the bus stop while he went to a gas station to buy some cigarettes. I was sick to my stomach and sort of groggy. I was nearly asleep when I felt someone's hand on my forehead. I almost jumped out of my skin. Two-Bit was looking down at me worriedly. "You feel okay? You're awful hot."**

Something began to clear up for Darry. A memory of the night of the rumble. Two-Bit had come in blathering about Pony being sick before hand, but he couldn't' have. Could he?

"**I'm alright," I said, and when he looked at me as if he didn't believe me, I got a little panicky. "Don't tell Darry, okay? Come on, Two-Bit, be a buddy. I'll be well by tonight. I'll take a bunch of aspirins." "All right," Two-Bit said reluctantly. "But Darry'll kill me if you're really sick and go ahead and fight anyway."**

"A fourteen year old with a fever managed to convince you to lie to his brother," Steve muttered to Two-Bit. "Man, you're a good friend."

Darry was currently looking at Pony with an expression of half shock, half disappointment. A fight shouldn't come before one's personal health.

"**I'm okay," I said, getting a little angry. "And if you keep your mouth shut, Darry won't know a thing."**

"That's what you think," Two-Bit smirked. Pony rolled his eyes.

"**You know somethin'?" Two-Bit said as we were riding home on the bus. "You'd think you could get away murder, living with your big brother and all, but Darry's stricter with you than your folks were, ain't he?" "Yeah," I said, "but they'd raised two boys before me. Darry hasn't."**

"And I wonder every day how they managed it," Darry shook his head.

"**You know, the only thing that keeps Darry from bein' a Soc is us." "I know," I said. I had known it for a long time. In spite of not having much money, the only reason Darry couldn't be a Soc was us. The gang. Me and Soda. Darry was too smart to be a greaser. I don't know how I knew, I just did. And I was kind of sorry.**

"While I'm treating this as a complement, don't be sorry Pony," Darry said. "I'd rather be a greaser and have the gang, Soda and you than be a Soc and be by myself."

**I was silent most of the way home. I was thinking about the rumble. I had a sick feeling in my stomach and it wasn't from being ill. It was the same kind of helplessness I'd felt that night Darry yelled at me for going to sleep in the lot. I had the same deathly fear that something was going to happen that none of us could stop. As we got off the bus, I finally said it. "Tonight—I don't like it one bit."**

Soda raised an eyebrow, "So, you're psychic now Pon?"

"Shut it, Soda."

**Two-Bit pretended not to understand. "I never knew you to play chicken in a rumble before. Not even when you was a little kid."**

"Low blow," Steve whistled. "He's got the Curtis temper after all."

**I knew he was trying to make me mad, but I took the bait anyway. "I ain't chicken, Two-Bit Matthew, and you know it," I said angrily. "Ain't I a Curtis, same as Soda and Darry?"**

"Well, there was that one guy Mom kept hanging around with…" Soda trailed off after Pony hit him with a pillow.

"Idiot," Darry chuckled.

**Two-Bit couldn't deny this, so I went on: "I mean, I got an awful feeling something's gonna happen." "Somethin' is gonna happen. We're gonna stomp the Soc's guts, that's what."**

"Both of you were right," Tim stared in shock. "How often does that happen?"

"Once every two years." Pony replied. "When I was twelve, we both were right as well."

"Eh?"

"When I was studying the Civil War, Two-Bit was helping me study. We couldn't agree on an answer so we looked it up. Turns out we were both right."

**Two-Bit knew what I meant, but doggedly pretended not to. He seemed to feel that if you said something was alright , it immediately was, no matter what. He's been that way all his life, and I don't expect he'll change. Sodapop would have understood, and we would have tried to figure it out together, but Two-Bit just ain't Soda. Not by a long shot.**

"Glory! I don't think the world could handle two Sodas!" Steve cried.

"I'm kinda partial to just one myself." Pony chuckled.

"One's plenty." Darry said, draping an arm around Soda's shoulders.

**Cherry Valance was sitting there in her Corvette by the vacant lot when we came by. Her long hair was pinned up, and in daylight she was even better looking.**

"That even possible?" Two-Bit chuckled as Pony burned bright red.

**That Sting Ray was one tuff car. A bright red one. It was cool. "Hi Ponyboy," she said. "Hi, Two-Bit." Two-Bit stopped. Apparently Cherry had shown up there before during the week Johnny and I had spent in Windrixville.**

"Dally already told you that," Steve looked at Pony in shock. "You already forgot about that."

"Er…um…keep reading," was all Pony had to say.

Darry and Soda smirked at their brother's discomfort.

"**What's up with the big-times?" She tightened the strings on her ski jacket. "They play your way. No weapons, fair deal. Your rules." "You sure?" She nodded. "Randy told me. He knows for sure." Two-Bit turned and started home. "Thanks, Cherry." "Ponyboy, stay a minute," Cherry said.**

"Oooh!" Two-Bit said, waggling his eyebrows. "What'd you and Cherry do?" Pony hid his face in his hands, and started to mutter something.

"Eh? What's he saying?" Tim asked.

"God you gave him brains which he does not use. You gave him a mouth and he never shuts up," Steve said. He could hear it better than anyone else cause he was so close to Pony.

**I stopped and went back to her car. "Randy's not going to show up at the rumble." "Yeah," I said. "I know." "He's not scared. He's just sick of fighting. Bob…" She swallowed, then went on quietly. "Bob was his best buddy. Since grade school." I thought of Soda and Steve.**

"Should we be insulted?" Soda asked.

"No."

"Good."

**What if one of them saw the other killed? Would that make them stop fighting? No, I thought, maybe it would make Soda stop, but not Steve. He'd go on hating and fighting. Maybe that was what Bob would have done if it had been Randy instead of him.**

"You know us so well," Steve smirked. If he saw Soda get killed, he'd fight to the death trying to avenge his buddy.

"**How's Johnny?" "Not so good," I said. "Will you go and see him?" She shook her head. "No. I couldn't."**

"Why not?" Soda demanded. "It's her boyfriend who's the reason he's in there."

Steve started to chuckle.

"What?"

"**Why not?" I demanded. It was the least she could do. It was her boyfriend who had caused it all…**

"That's what," Steve said smirking. Soda looked pleased that he thought along the same lines as his little brother.

**and then I stopped. Her boyfriend… "I couldn't," she said in a quiet, desperate voice. "He killed Bob. Oh, maybe Bob asked for it. I know he did. But I could never look at the person who killed him. You only knew his bad side.**

"He had a good one?" Tim blurted out.

"Tim, you've just seen two examples of good Socs," Pony said.

"Yeah, but that guy was evil! Evil, I tell you."

**He could be sweet sometimes, and friendly. But when he got drunk…it was that part of him that beat up Johnny.**

"You know, I could have lived my whole life without knowing Johnny wasn't even given the respect of being jumped while the jumpers were sober," Pony muttered.

"Kid, that didn't make any sense," Two-Bit said. "I've never been more proud."

**I knew it was Bob when you told me the story. He was so proud of his rings. Why do people see liquor to boys? Why? I know there's a law against it, but kids get it anyway. I can' t go see Johnny. I know I'm too young to be in love and all that, but Bob was something special. He wasn't just any boy. He had something that made people follow him, something that marked him different, maybe a little better, than the crowd. Do you know what I mean?"**

"Not a clue," Tim smirked

**I did. Cherry saw the same things in Dallas.**

The group paused for a moment and then shuddered. The thought of Dally with a Soc was something no one wanted to picture.

**That was why she was afraid to see him, afraid of loving him. I knew what she meant all right. But she also meant she wouldn't go see Johnny because he had killed Bob. "That's okay," I said sharply.**

Soda looked at Pony in surprise; never had he heard his brother show his temper towards a girl.

"What'd I tell ya?" Steve asked. "Curtis temper."

**It wasn't Johnny's fault that Bob was a booze-hound and Cherry went for boys who were bound for trouble.**

"I like this side of the kid," Two-Bit whispered to Tim.

"Me too," Tim whispered back. The world was back to normal; Socs were being insulted.

"**I wouldn't want you to see him. You're a traitor to your own kind and not loyal to us. Do you think your spying for us makes up for the fact that you're sitting there in a Corvette while my bother drops out of school to get a job? Don't you ever feel sorry for us. Don't you ever try to give us handouts and then feel high and mighty about it."**

Tim's smirk became more pronounced. The kid couldn't tell him off for thinking badly of Socs, he did so himself.

**I started to turn and walk off, but something in Cherry's face made me stop. I was ashamed**

"Damn it," Tim muttered. He knew it was gonna go back to making the Socs seem human again.

—**I can't stand to see girls cry. She wasn't crying, but she was close to it. "I wasn't trying to give you charity, Ponyboy. I only wanted to help. I liked you from the start…the way you talked. You're a nice kid, Ponyboy. Do you realize how scarce nice kids are nowadays? Wouldn't you try to help me if you could?'**

"Yes," said Darry, Soda, Steve, and Two-Bit. It was so obvious that even Tim had to grin a little.

**I would. I'd help her and Randy both, if I could.**

"Pony, we just said that." Soda said with a smirk. "You don't need to say it again."

"Oh, be quiet."

"**Hey," I said suddenly, "can you see the sunset real good from the West Side?"**

"Random," Steve muttered.

**She blinked, startled, then smiled. "Real good."**

"What's so great about sunsets?" Tim muttered.

"If you have to ask, you'll never know," Pony smirked.

"**You can see it good from the East Side, too, "I said quietly. "Thanks, Ponyboy." She smiled through her tears. "You dig okay."**

"Oooh!"

"Shut it Two-Bit," Pony muttered. He still had some feelings for Cherry, which made it awkward whenever he saw her.

**She had green eyes.**

Soda burst out laughing. "I thought you didn't like people with green eyes?" he asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Get yer jollies," Pony muttered.

**I went on, walking home slowly. **

"And that's the end of the chapter." Steve said. "Two-Bit, it's your turn."

Two-Bit grabbed the book and flipped the page. He grinned a grin so big that Ponyboy thought his face would split.

"It's the rumble!"

A/N: Another Chapter! I shall try to get chapter ten up by next week Tuesday. If I don't, remind me. I've got exams coming up and so writing's not high on my list of things to do.

Oh, yeah. REVIEW!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

A/N: I do not own the Outsiders

Two-Bit cleared his throat and said, "Alright. Chapter nine."

**It was almost six-thirty when I got home. The rumble was set for seven, so I was late for supper, as usual. I always come in late. I forget what time it is.**

"Isn't that what got this started in the first place?" Tim asked.

"I fell asleep in the lot," Ponyboy reminded him. "Losing track of time had nothing to do with it."

**Darry had cooked dinner: baked chicken and potatoes and corn—two chickens because all three of us eat like horses. Especially Darry.**

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Darry asked Pony, a smirk on his face.

"Exactly that."

**But although I love baked chicken, I could barely swallow any. I swallowed five aspirins, thought, when Darry and Soda weren't looking.**

"You did what now?" Soda asked his brother. "You know how dangerous that might be?"

"Sheesh Soda, as I've been telling Darry about smoking, it ain't gonna kill me."

**I do that all the time because I can't sleep very well at night. Darry thinks I take just one, but I usually take four. I figured five would keep me going through the rumble and maybe get rid of my headache. Then I hurried to take a shower and change clothes. Me and Soda and Darry always got spruced up before a rumble. And besides, we wanted to show those Socs we weren't trash, that we were just as good as they were.**

"We do that just by living," Tim said with a smug grin.

"**Soda," I called from the bathroom, "when did you start shaving?" "When I was fifteen," he yelled back. "When did Darry?" "When he was thirteen. Why? You figgerin' on growing a beard for the rumble?" "You're funny. We ought to send you in to the **_**Reader's Digest**_**. I hear they pay a lot for funny things."**

"Ah, there's the little smart-alec we all know, love, and really hope doesn't get directed at us," Two-Bit said fondly.

"You know that made absolutely no sense, right?" Steve asked.

"Yep."

**Soda laughed and went right on playing poker with Steve in the living room. Darry had on a tight black T-shirt that showed off every muscle on his chest and even the flat hard muscles of his stomach.**

"His favorite one," Soda said with a smirk. Darry just rolled his eyes at his brother. At least he didn't spend five hours in the bathroom.

**I'd hate to be the Soc who takes a crack at him, I thought as I pulled on a clean T-shirt and a fresh pair of jeans.**

"Hey thanks kiddo," Darry said smiling, pulling Ponyboy into a one armed hug.

**I wished my T-shirt was tighter—I have a pretty good build for my size, but I'd lost a lot of weight in Windrixville and it just didn't fit right. It was a chilly night and T-shirts aren't the warmest clothes in the world, but nobody ever gets cold in a rumble, and besides, jackets interfere with your swinging ability.**

"Ain't that the truth?" Soda sighed. He'd tried wearing a jacket to a fight once, lets just say it didn't end up too pretty.

Darry frowned though. The signs were all there that Pony wasn't ready for this rumble. Why'd he let him fight?

**Soda and Steve and I had put on more hair oil than was necessary, but we wanted to show that we were greasers. Tonight, we could be proud of it. Greasers may not have much, but they have a rep. That and long hair.**

"And family," Soda said seriously. "Those Socs may have more in means of money, but family's better than that any day."

"Agreed." Steve said.

**(What kind of world is it where all I have to be proud of is a reputation for being a hood, and greasy hair? I don't want to be a hood, but even if I don't steal things and mug people and get boozed up, I'm marked lousy. Why should I be proud of it? Why should I even pretend to be proud of it?) Darry never went in for the long hair. His was short and clean all the time.**

"Of course it was," Soda sighed.

"Well, it's easier to maintain and so I'm not spending five hours drying it later on after a shower," Darry defended.

**I sat in the armchair in the living room, waiting for the rest of the outfit to show up. But of course, tonight the only one coming would be Two-Bit; Johnny and Dallas wouldn't show. Soda and Steve were playing cards and arguing as usual. Soda was keeping up a steady stream of wisecracks and clowning, and Steve had turned up the radio so loud that it almost broke my eardrums. Of course everybody listens to it loud like that, but it wasn't just the best thing for a headache.**

"You really need to speak up when you don't feel well," Soda said. Steve nodded. After hearing what Two-Bit had said, he felt a little bad that he'd been tormenting the kid and didn't even know it.

"**You like fights, don't you, Soda?" I asked suddenly.**

"You ask the most random things," Steve said, shaking his head.

"**Yeah, sure." He shrugged. "I like fights." "How come?" "I don't know." He looked at me, puzzled. "It's action. It's a contest. Like a drag race or a dance or something." "Shoot," said Steve, "I want to beat those Soc's heads in. When I get in a fight I want to stomp the other guy good. I like it, too." "How come you like fights, Darry?" I asked, looking up at him as he stood behind me, leaning in the kitchen doorway.**

"What were you doing there anyway?" Pony asked.

"I wanted to get to the kitchen. You were in my way," Darry said with a smirk.

**He gave me one of those looks that hide what he's thinking, but Soda piped up: "He likes to show off his muscles." "I'm gonna show 'em off on you, little buddy, if you get any mouthier." I digested what Soda had said. It was the truth. Darry liked anything that took strength, like weight lifting or playing football or roofing houses, even if he was proud of being smart too. Darry never said anything about it, but I knew he liked fights. I felt out of things. I'll fight anyone anytime, but I don't like to.**

"That is so like you, kid," Steve smirked.

"What does that mean?" Ponyboy shot back.

"That you're the only greaser who doesn't like fights."

"**I don't know if you ought to be in this rumble, Pony," Darry said slowly.**

"I can't believe I let you," Darry said quietly.

"Read the next sentence, Two-Bit," Ponyboy urged.

**Oh, no, I thought in mortal fear, I've got to be in it. Right then the most important thing in my life was helping us whip the Socs.**

"See?" Ponyboy asked.

"Not really. It shouldn't have mattered how bad you wanted to be in it. You were sick. I shouldn't have let you."

"Darry, stop guilt trippin' and let me get on with the story!" Two-Bit announced.

**Don't let me stay home now. I've got to be in it. "How come? I've always come through before, ain't I?" "Yeah," Darry said with a proud grin. "You fight real good for a kid your size.**

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pony asked Darry.

"It means you're short and a good fighter." Darry told him, rolling his eyes.

**But you were in shape before. You've lost weight and you don't look so great, kid. You're tensed up too much." "Shoot," said Soda, trying to get the ace out of his shoe without Steve's seeing him, "we all get tensed before a rumble. Let him fight tonight. Skin never hurt anyone—no weapons, no danger."**

"More importantly, how did I let you talk me into letting him go?" Darry asked Soda.

"Cause I'm awesome?"

"**I'll be okay," I pleaded. "I'll get hold of a little one, okay?" "Well Johnny won't be there this time…"—Johnny and I sometimes ganged up on one big guy—"but then, Curly Shepard won't be there either, or Dally, and we'll need every man we can get." "What happened to Shepard?" I asked, remembering Tim Shepard's kid brother, Curly, who was a tough, cool, hard-as-nails Tim in miniature, I had once play chicken by holding our cigarette ends against each other's fingers.**

"I must be getting old, because I know I didn't just hear that," Darry growled, looking over at his brother. Ponyboy, not Sodapop.

**We had stood there, clenching our teeth and grimacing, with sweat pouring down our faces and smell of burning flesh making us sick, each refusing to holler, when Tim happened to stroll by. When he saw that we were really burning holes into each other he cracked our heads together, swearing to kill us both if we ever pulled a stunt like that again.**

"What in the Sam heck were you thinkin'?" Darry and Tim both shouted at the same time, looking at Ponyboy.

"Ah!" Steve shouted.

"What?" Two-Bit asked, alarmed.

"Saying the same thing at the same time is not just a Curtis thing! It's contagious! First with Darry and Soda, and Ponyboy and Darry, and Ponyboy and Soda, and now Darry and Tim!"

**I still have the scar on my forefinger. Curly was an average downtown hood, tough and not real bright,**

"Hey!" Tim shouted. He did have to admit, sometimes his brother was dimmer than the bulb on their front porch.

**but I liked him. He could take anything. "He's in the cooler," Steve said, kicking the ace out of Soda's shoe. "In the reformatory." Again? I thought, and said, "Let me fight, Darry. If it was blades or chains or something it'd be different. Nobody ever gets hurt in a skin rumble." "Well"—Darry gave in—"I guess you can. But be careful, and if you get in a jam, holler and I'll get you out." "I'll be okay," I said wearily. "How come you never worry about Sodapop as much? I don't see you lecturin' him."**

"Like I said before, I am awesome," Soda said with a smirk.

"**Man"—Darry grinned and put his arm across Soda's shoulders—"this is one kid brother I don't have to worry about."**

"Nah. Instead of losing his cool in a rumble, Soda here's a lady's man," Darry chuckled. "That is worrisome."

**Soda punched him in the ribs affectionately.**

"You know, that was really hard," Darry shook his head at his brother. "I think someone had too much sugar."

"Oh, shut it," Soda grumbled.

"**This kiddo can use his head." Soda looked down at me with mock superiority, but Darry went on: "You can see he uses it for one thing—to grow hair on."**

"Burn!" Two-Bit shouted. He looked around to find that no one was throwing pillows.

"Just read, Two-Bit," Steve rolled his eyes. "I'll hit you with a pillow later."

"Yay!"

"You are so weird."

**He ducked Soda's swing and took off for the door. Two-Bit stuck his head in the door just as Darry went flying out of it. Leaping as he went off the steps, Darry turned a somersault in mid-air, hit the ground, and bounced up before Soda could catch him.**

"I had thought he'd lost his mind," Two-Bit said. "Then I remembered about the rumble." **"Welup," Two-Bit said cheerfully, cocking an eyebrow, "I see we are in prime condition for a rumble. Is everybody happy?"**

"What was that for?" Two-Bit asked after Pony whacked him over the head with a pillow.

"For asking a stupid question," he replied. "Now read."

"**Yeah!" screamed Soda as he too did a flying somersault off the steps. He flipped up to walk on his hands and then did a no-hands cartwheel across the yard to bead Darry's performance.**

"What was it? A contest?" Steve laughed.

**The excitement was catching. Screeching like an Indian, Steve went running across the lawn in flying leaps, stopped suddenly, and flipped backwards. We could all do acrobatics because Darry had taken a course at the Y and then spend a whole summer teaching us everything he learned on the grounds that it might come in handy in a fight.**

"Well it could," Darry said at Tim's look of disbelief. They were greasers for crying out loud.

**It did,**

"See?"

"No one disagreed with you, Dar." Soda said with a smirk.

**but it also got Two-Bit and Soda jailed once. They were doing mid-air flips down a downtown sidewalk, walking on their hands, and otherwise disturbing the public and the police. Leave it to those two to pull something like that.**

"Idiots," Darry said, shaking his head and grinning. "Never a boring moment with you two."

**With a happy whoop I did a no-hands cartwheel off the porch steps, hit the ground, and rolled to my feet. Two-Bit followed me in a similar maner.**

"You couldn't have thought of anything else?" Pony asked Two-Bit,

"I was a little drunk and yours was the least likely for me to kill myself."

"When ain't you drunk?"

Two-Bit ignored him, and proceeded to read. He broke out in a big grin.

"You guys remember that chant we did that night?"

All but Tim nodded.

"Let's see how much we remember."

Soda grinned. "I know I went first. I think I did something like '**"**I am a greaser, I am a JD and a hood. I blacken the name of our fair city. I beat up people. I rob gas stations. I am a menace to society. Man, do I have fun!"

Steve popped up. "I was next. I did something like 'Greaser…greaser…greaser…O victim of environment, underprivileged, rotten, no-count hood!

"Juvenile Delinquent, you're no good!" Darry laughed.

"Get thee hence, white trash. I am a Soc. I am the privileged and the well-dressed. I throw beer blasts, drive fancy cars, break windows at fancy parties." Two-Bit continued. He'd turned over the essay so no one could accuse him of cheating on his part.

"And what do you do for fun?" Pony smirked.

"I JUMP GREASERS!" All of them yelled, laughing at the end. Two-Bit picked up the esssay and proceeded to read.

"**I am a greaser," Sodapop chanted. "I am a JD and a hood. I blacken the name of our fair city. I beat up people. I rob gas stations. I am a menace to society. Man, do I have fun!"**

"You got that right!" Steve yelled. Everyone else looked at each other in shock.

"**Greaser…greaser…greaser…" Steve singsonged. "O victim of environment, underprivileged, rotten, no-count hood!" "Juvenile delinquent, you're no good!" Darry shouted. "Get thee hence, white trash," Two-Bit said in a snobbish voice. "I am a Soc. I am the privileged and the well-dressed. I throw beer blasts, drive fancy cars, break windows at fancy parties." "And what do you do for fun?" I inquired in a serious, awed voice. "I jump greasers!" Two-Bit screamed, and did a cartwheel. **

"Word for word," Darry said, a slight awed undertone in his voice.

"Guess Pony's not the only one with a safe for a memory," Tim said with a smirk. He liked seeing how the gang acted before they'd gotten to the lot.

**We settled down as we walked to the lot.**

"Darn it," Tim muttered.

**Two-Bit was the only one wearing a jacket; he had a couple of cans of beer stuffed in it. He always gets high before a rumble. Before anything else, too, come to think of it. I shook my head. I'd hate to see the day when I had to get my nerve from a can.**

The room got silent. Everyone looked at Ponyboy as if they hadn't seen him before. Then Steve chuckled and grabbed Pony in a big bear hug.

"That was the best diss I've ever heard," he said through his laughter. "Nice one kid."

**I'd tried drinking once. The stuff tasted awful, I got sick, had a headache, and when Darry found out, he grounded me for two weeks.**

"For the record, I had planned on making it three weeks," Darry said.

"Kid, I didn't know you'd ever tried booze," Two-Bit commented.

"Once before, never again," Ponyboy responded.

"Your loss," Two-Bit shrugged.

"Don't encourage the kid!" Steve scolded.

"Besides, you say it's my loss but I like to think of it as my gain," Ponyboy replied.

**But that was the last time I'd ever drink. I'd seen too much of what drinking did for you at Johnny's house.**

Two-Bit got up and threw out his bottle. "I ain't gonna be like them."

"Two-Bit, you're too nice to be like 'em."

Two-Bit thought for a minute.

"Then why'd you let me throw out my beer?"

"Cause it was funny." Pony smirked.

"**Hey, Two-Bit," I said, deciding to complete my survey," how come you like to fight?" He looked at me as if I was off my nut. "Shoot, everybody fights." If everybody jumped in the Arkansas river, ol' Two-Bit would be right on their heels.**

The reading had to be paused on account of the laughter that was coming from Soda and Steve.

"What is this, Make Fun of Two-Bit Day?" Two-Bit asked.

"Yep."

**I had it then. Soda fought for fun, Steve for hatred, Darry for pride, and Two-Bit for conformity. Why do I fight? I thought, and couldn't' think or any real reason. There isn't any real reason for fighting except self defense.**

"And this was for self defense," Tim pipped up. "Without the rumble, Socs would be coming into our territorry any time they wished."

"**Listen, Soda, you and Ponyboy," Darry said as we strode down the street, "if the fuzz show, you two beat it out of there. The rest of us can only get jailed. You two can get sent to a boy's home." "Nobody in this neighborhood's going to call the fuzz," Steve said grimly. "They know what'd happened if they did." "All the same, you two blow at the first sign of trouble. You hear me?" "You sure don't need an amplifier," Soda said, and stuck out his tongue at the back of Darry's head. I stifled a giggle. If you want to see something funny, it's a tough hood sticking his tongue out at his big brother.**

Darry had Soda in a headlock through that whole sentence.

"Uncle!" Soda cried. Darry grinned and let go, messing up Sodapop's hair in the process.

**Tim Shepard and company were already waiting when we arrived at the vacant lot, along with a gang from Brumly, one of the suburbs. Tim was a lean, catlike eighteen year old who looked like the model JD you see in movies and magazines. He had the right curly black hair, smoldering dark eyes, and a long scar from temple to chin where a tramp had belted him with a broken pop bottle. He had a tough, hard look to him, and his nose had been broken twice. Like Dally's, his smile was grim and bitter. He was one of those who enjoyed being a hood. The rest of his bunch were the same way. The boys from Brumly, too. Young hoods—who would grow up to be old hoods.**

"The kid knows us well," Tim smirked. Darry and Soda looked at Pony, who shook his head.

"I. Am. Friends. With. Curly." he said slowly.

**I'd never thought about it before, but they'd just get worse as they got older, not better. I looked at Darry. He wasn't going to be any hood when he got old. He was going to get somewhere. Living the way we do would only make him more determined to get somewhere. That's why he's better than the rest of us, I thought. He's going somewhere.**

Darry glanced at his little brother. It was amazing how his opinion of Darry changed so quickly, though it must have taken days in real life.

**And I was going to be like him. I wasn't going to live in a lousy neighborhood all my life.**

"No! Pony, don't go to the dark side!" Soda cried.

"But they have cookies," Pony pouted.

**Tim had the tense, hungry look of an alley cat—that's what he always reminded me of, an alley cat—and he was constantly restless. His boys ranged from fifteen to nineteen, hard-looking characters who were used to the strict discipline Tim gave out. That was the difference between his gang and ours—they had a leader and were organized; we were just buddies who stuck together—each man was his own leader. Maybe that was why we could whip them.**

"You lose one fight and they all think they can whip ya," Tim muttered.

**Tim and the leader of the Brumly outfit moved forward to shake hands with each of us—proving that our gangs were on the same side in this fight, although most of the guys in those two outfits weren't exactly what I'd like to call my friends. When Tim got to me he studied me, maybe remembering how his kid brother and I had played chicken.**

"One of your more idiotic moves, Pony," Soda said, shaking his head.

"**You and the quiet black-headed kid were the ones who killed that Soc?" "Yeah," I said, pretending to be proud of it; then I thought of Cherry and Randy and got a sick feeling in my stomach. "Good goin', kid. Curly always said you were a good kid. Curly's in the reformatory for the next six months." Tim grinned ruefully, probably thinking of this roughneck, hard-headed brother. "He got caught breakin' into a liquor store, the little…" he went on to call Curly every unprintable name under the sun—in Tim's way of thinking, terms of affection.**

"Kid, they were Socs. You don't need to feel guilty about somethin' they're probably not gonna know." Steve chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah."

Tim felt a little guilty at being so glad about the death of the Soc, but squashed it. He was a Soc, for crying out loud!

**I surveyed the scene with pride. I was the youngest one there. Even Curly, if he had been there, had turned fifteen, so he was older than me. I could tell Darry realized this too, and although he was proud, I also knew he was worried. Shoot, I thought, I'll fight so good this time he won't ever worry about me again. I'll show him that someone besides Sodapop can use his head.**

Darry glanced at Soda. "Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" he whispered.

"Cause it's Pony?" Soda whispered back, "and his plans tend to fail?"

"You were the youngest?" Two-Bit asked.

"You didn't notice?"

"I was drunk!"

**One of the Brumly boys waved me over. We mostly stuck with our own outfits, so I was a little leery of going over to him, but I shrugged. He asked to borrow a weed, then lit up. "That big guy with y'all, you know him pretty well?"**

"Talking about me?" Darry smirked.

"**I ought to, he's my brother," I said. I couldn't' honestly say "Yes." I knew Darry as well as he knew me, and that isn't saying a whole lot.**

The smirk fell slowly off Darry's face. He knew two things he'd have to do after this. One: pound something heavy, like a Soc's face. Two: have an outing or something with Pony. Try to reestablish their relationship they had before Mom and Dad died.

"**No kiddin'? I got a feelin' he's gonna be asked to start the fireworks around here. He a pretty good bopper?"**

"You bet he is!" Soda cried.

**He meant rumbler. Those Brumly boys have weird vocabularies. I doubt if half of them can read a newspaper or spell much more than their names, and it comes out in their speech. I mean, you take a guy that calls a rumble "bob-action" and you can tell he isn't real educated.**

"Pony, be nice." Darry warned but his smirk was on his face. He disliked the Brumly boys as much as the next greaser.

"**Yep," I said. "But why him?" He shrugged. "Why anybody else?" I looked our outfits over. Most greasers don't have real tuff builds or anything. They're mostly lean and kind of panther-looking in a slouchy way. This is partly because they don't eat much and partly because they're slouchy. Darry looked like he could whip anyone there.**

"He could!" Four voices called out. They'd all seen Darry in a fight; lets just say the other guy had it worse.

**I think most of the guys were worried because of the 'no weapons' rule. I didn't know about the Brumly boys, but I knew that Shepard's gang were used to fighting with anything they could get their hands on—bicycle chains, blades, pop bottles, pieces of pipe, pool sticks or sometimes even heaters. I mean guns. I have a kind of lousy vocabulary, too, even if I am educated. Our gang never went in for weapons. We're just not that rough. The only weapons we ever used were knives, and shoot, we carried them mostly just for looks. Like Two-Bit and his black-handled switch. None of us had ever really hurt anybody, or wanted to. Just Johnny. And he hadn't wanted to.**

"I don't know," Two-Bit said with hesitation. "Didn't he say in the first or second chapter that he was never gonna get jumped like he did again?"

"Dying friend, remember? You tend to forget minor details like that." Pony shrugged.

"**Hey, Curtis!" Tim yelled. I jumped. "Which one?" I heard Soda yell back. "The big one. Come over here."**

"Nice description," Tim chuckled.

"You know you're the one who made it?" Darry asked with a glare. Tim gulped. Darry Curtis was not a guy you wanted mad at you.

**The guy from Brumly looked at me. "What did I tell ya?" I watched Darry going over Tim and the leader of the Brumly boys. He shouldn't be here, I thought suddenly. I shouldn't be here and Steve shouldn't be here and Soda shouldn't be here and Two-Bit shouldn't be here. We're greasers, but not hoods, and we don't belong with this bunch of future convicts. We could end up like them, I thought. We could. And the thought didn't help my headache.**

"Then don't think about it," Steve said. He was touched that he and Two-Bit were included in the list of people who shouldn't have been at the rumble. "Think about stomping the Socs."

"I think I had another reason," Pony muttered. "Johnny."

That sobered the gang up. If they hadn't been there, they'd all been able to say goodbye to Johnny.

**I went back to stand with Soda and Steve and Two-Bit then, because the Socs were arriving. Right on time. They came in four carloads, and filed out silently. I counted twenty-two of them. There were twenty of us, so I figured the odds were as even as we could get them. Darry always liked to take on two at a time anyway. They looked like they were all cut from the same piece of cloth: clean shaven with semi-Beatle haircuts, wearing striped or checkerd shirts with light red or tan colored jackets or madras ski jackets. They could just as easily been going to the movies as to a rumble. That's why people don't ever think to blame the Socs and are always ready to jump on us. We look hoody and they look decent. It could be just the other way around—half the hoods I know are pretty decent guys underneath all that grease, and from what I've heard, a lot of Socs are just cold-blooded mean—but people usually go by looks.**

"So that's why Soda gets away with a lot," Steve chuckled. "His looks?"

"Yep."

**They lined up silently, facing us, and we lined up facing them. I looked for Randy but didn't see him. I hoped he wasn't there. A guy with a madras shirt stepped up. "Let's get the rules straight—nothing but our fists, and the first to run lose. Right?" Tim flipped away his beer can.**

"I thought it was Two-Bit who did that?" Darry asked.

"So I get a detail wrong," Pony shrugged. "It's been two years since I wrote this, and some of the details of that night were hazy at best."

"**You savvy real good." There was an uneasy silence. Who was going to start it? Darry solved that problem. He stepped forward under the circle of light made by the street lamp. For a minute, everything looked unreal, like a scene out of a JD movie or something. Then Darry said, "I'll take on anyone." He stood there, tall, broad-shouldered, his muscles taut under his T-shirt and his eyes glittering like ice. For a second it didn't look like there was anyone brave enough to take him on.**

"This essay is not good for Darry's ego," Pony whispered to Soda.

"What do you mean?"

"He's developing one."

**Then there was a slight stir in the faceless mob of Socs, and a husky blond guy stepped forward. He looked at Darry and said quietly, "Hello, Darrel." Something flickered behind Darry's eyes and then they were ice again. "Hello, Paul."**

Soda stiffened, Pony sighed and Darry clenched his fists. Paul, Darry had told them later, was the one Soc he hadn't been expecting to fight.

**I heard Soda give a kind of squeak and I realized the blond was Paul Holden. He had been the best halfback on Darry's football team at high school and he and Darry used to buddy it around together all the time.**

"We were on the same team," Darry said at Tim's look. "We couldn't be jumping each other."

**He must be a junior in college by now, I thought. He was looking at Darry with an expression I couldn't quite place, but disliked. Contempt? Pity? Hate? All three? Why? Because Darry was standing there representing all of us, and maybe Paul felt only contempt and pity and hate for greasers? Darry hadn't moved a muscle or changed expression, but you could see he hated Paul now. It wasn't only jealousy—Darry had a right to be jealous; he was ashamed to be on our side, ashamed to be seen with the Brumly boys, Shepard's gang, maybe even us. Nobody realized it but me and Soda. It didn't matter to anyone but me and Soda.**

"Let me clear this up," Darry said. "I was not ashamed. There's nothing I want more than to just hang out with my family and friends, who are greasers.

**That's stupid, I thought swiftly, they've both come here to fight and they're both supposed to be smarter than that. What difference does the side make? Then Paul said, "I'll take you," and something like a smile crossed Darry's face. I knew Darry had thought he could take Paul anytime. But that was two or three years ago. What if Paul was better now? I swallowed. Neither one of my brothers had ever been beaten in a fight, but I wasn't exactly itching for someone to break the record.**

"Like that could ever happen," Soda and Darry scoffed.

**They moved in a circle under the light, counterclockwise, eyeing each other, sizing each other up, maybe remembering old faults and wondering if they were still there. The rest of us watched with mounting tension. I was reminded of Jack London's books—you know, where the wolf pack waits in silence for one of two members to go down in a fight. But it was different here. The moment either one swung a punch, the rumble would be on. The silence grew heavier, and I could ear the harsh heavy breathing of the boys around me. Still Darry and the Soc walked slowly in a circle.**

"You knew his name and still called him the Soc?" Darry asked.

"Giving him a name reminded me of your past fights. When you used to be buddies."

**Even I could feel their hatred. They used to be buddies, I thought, they used to be friends, and now they hate each other because one has to work for a living and the other comes from the West Side.**

Ponyboy looked at Darry, who was deep in thought and memories.

"If only it was that simple," he murmured. Only Sodapop and Ponyboy actually heard him.

**They shouldn't hate each other…I don't hate the Soc any more…they shouldn't hate… "Hold up!" a familiar voice yelled. "Hold it!" Darry turned to see who it was, and Paul swung—a hard right to the jaw that would have felled anyone but Darry. The rumble was on. Dallas Winston ran to join us.**

"Of course he did," the gang grinned. What else did they expect from the guy?

**I couldn't find a Soc my size, so I took the next-best size and jumped on him. Dallas was right beside me, already on top of someone. "I thought you were in the hospital," I yelled as the Soc knocked me to the ground and I rolled to avoid getting kicked. "I was." Dally was having a hard time because his left arm was still in bad shape. "I ain't now." "How?" I managed to ask as the Soc I was fighting leaped on me and we rolled near Dally. "Talked the nurse into it with Two-Bit's switch. Don't you know a rumble ain't a rumble unless I'm in it?"**

"Ah, my blade. Being used for such a good purpose." Two-Bit sighed and smiled. Pony scooted closer to Steve.

"Whatever he's on, I don't want it." he muttered. Steve bit back a laugh.

**I couldn't answer because the Soc, who was heaver than I took him for, had me pinned and was slugging the sense out of me. I thought dizzily that he was going to knock some of my teeth out or break my nose or something, and I knew I didn't have a chance. But Darry was keeping an eye out for me; he caught that guy by the shoulder and half lifted him up before knocking him three feet with a sledge-hammer blow.**

"Thanks Dar," Pony smiled.

"Hey, what are brothers for?" Darry ruffled Pony's hair. Everyone else was making a mental note to not make Darry pissed at them. It might just be the last thing they did.

**I decided it would be fair for me to help Dally since he could only use one arm.**

"More like safer for you," Soda chuckled.

**They were slugging it out, but Dallas was getting the worst of it, so I jumped on his Soc's back, pulling his hair and pounding him. He reached over and caught me by the neck and threw me over his head to the ground. Tim Shepard, who was fighting two at once, accidentially stepped on me, knocking my breath out.**

"Sorry kid," Tim shook his head. "Should have watched who was by me."

**I was up again as soon as I got my wind, and jumped right back on that Soc, trying my best to strangle him. While he was prying my fingers loose, Dally knocked him backward, so that all three of us rolled on the ground, gasping, cussing and punching. Somebody kicked me hard in the ribs and I yelped in spite of myself. Some Soc had knocked out one of our bunch and was kicking me as hard as he could. But I had both arms wrapped around the other Soc's neck and refused to let go. Dally was slugging him, and I hung on, desperately, althought that other Soc was kicking me and you'd better believe it hurt.**

"I had to stop Soda from pounding that Soc into the earth when he saw who he was kicking," Darry shook his head. "He managed to get a few good punches after he left."

"What happened to him?" Pony asked.

"Steve, Soda, and Two-Bit jumped him a few weeks later. He was in the hospital for three weeks."

"Soda!"

"Well, he hurt my brother." Soda crossed his arms.

**Finally he kicked me in the head so hard it stunned me, and I lay limp, trying to close my mind and keep from blacking out. I could hear the racket, but only dimly thought the buzzing in my ears. Mumerous bruises along my back and on my face were throubbing, but I felt detached from the pain, as if it wasn't really me feeling it. "They're running!" I heard a voice yell joyfully. "Look at the dirty—run!" It seemed to me that the voice belonged to Two-Bit, but I couldn't be sure.**

"It did." Two-Bit smirked. "I remember saying it."

**I tried to sit up, and saw that the Socs were getting into their cars and leaving. Tim Shepard was swearing blue and green because his nose was broken again, and the leader of the Brumly boys was working over one of his own men because he had broken the rules and used a piece of pipe in the fighting.**

"How did I not notice that?" Darry asked.

"Cause you're not Pony?" Steve smirked.

**Steve lay doubled up and groaning about ten feet from me. We found out later that he had three broken ribs.**

"Sorry about how I was treating you Steve," Darry grimaced. "I thought you just had bruised ribs."

"What's the difference?" Steve asked.

"Broken ribs have you cursing up a storm."

**Sodapop was beside him, talking in a low steady voice. I did a double take when I saw Two-Bit—blood was steaming down one side of his face and one hand was busted wide open, but he was grinning happily because the Socs were running.**

"Of course he was." Everyone shook their heads. That was Two-Bit for ya.

"**We won," Darry announced in a tired voice. He was going to have a black eye and there was a cut across his forehead. "We beat the Socs." Dally stood beside me quietly for a minute, trying to grasp the fact that we had really beaten the Socs.**

"Why was that so hard to believe?" Tim asked.

"Maybe because…"Pony began and then shook his head. "I don't recall. It was two years ago, and I had just been kicked in the head."

**Then, grabbing my shirt, he hauled me to my feet. "Come on!" He half dragged me down the street. "We're goin' to see Johny." I stried to run but stumbled, and Dally impatiently shoved me along. "Hurry! He was gettin' worse when I left. He wants to see you." I don't know how Dallas could travel so fast and hard after being knocked around and having his sore arm hurt some more, but I tried to keep up with him.**

"Wow," Two-Bit whistled. "I can't do that when I'm not aching in pain from whipping a Soc. You're good kid."

**Track wasn't ever like the running I did that night. I was still dizzy and had only a dim realization of where I was going and why. Dally had Buck Merril's T-bird parked in front of our house, and we hopped into it. I sat tight as Dally roared the car down the street. We were on Tenth when a siren came on behind us and I saw the reflection of the red light flashing in the windshidel. "Look sick," Dally commanded. "I'll say I'm taking you to the hospital, which'll be truth enough."**

"Dally? Telling the truth?" Steve gasped. "The world has got to be ending!"

"You're still here ain't ya?" Pony smirked.

"Smart ass."

**I leaned against the cold glass of the window and tried to look sick, whick wasn't too hard, feeling the way I was feeling. The policeman looked disgusted. "All right buddy, where's the fire?" "The kid"—Dally jerked a thumb toward me—"he fell over on his motercycle and I'm taking him to the hospital." I goaned, and it wasn't all fake-out. I guess I looked pretty bad, too, being cut and bruised like I was. The fuzz changed his tone. "Is he real bad? Do you need an escort?" "How would I know if he's bad or not? I ain't no doc. Yeah, we could use an escort." And as the policeman got back into his car I heard Dally hiss,**

"Sucker!" Pony whispered under his breath. He looked up to see Two-Bit staring at him.

"What?"

"**Sucker!"**

"Don't become like Dally," Steve chuckled.

"I won't. Too much time near Buck and I might strangle him." Pony muttered. Everyone heard though and chuckled.

**With the siren ahead of us, we made record time getting to the hospital. All the way over there, Dally kept talking and talking about something, but I was too dizzy to make most of it out.**

"Either that or he was cussing," Tim smirked.

"Probably cussing, yeah." Pony shook his head.

"**I was crazy, you know that kid? Crazy for wantin' Johnny to stay outa trouble, for not wantin' him to get hard. If he'd been like me he'd never have been in this mess If he'd been smart like me he'd never have run into that church. That's what you get for helpin' people. Editorials in the paper and a lot of trouble…You'd better wise up, Pony…you get tough like me and you don't get hurt. You look out for yourself and nothin' can touch you…"**

"What kind of advice was that?" Darry nearly shouted. The last thing he wanted for his kid brother was for him to turn out like Dallas Winston. Ponyboy barely heard him.

_But in the end, he still got hurt,_ Ponyboy thought over and over again.

"Kid? You okay?" Two-Bit asked, looking at Ponyboy. He shook himself loose.

"Yeah. Keep reading."

**He said a lot more stuff, but I didn't get it all. I had a stupid feeling that Dally was out of his mind, the way he kept raving on and on, because Dallas never talked like that, but I think now I would have understood if I hadn't been sick at the time. The cop left us at the hospital as Dally pretended to help me out of the car. The minute the cop was gone, dally let go of me so quick I almost fell. "Hurry!" we ran through the lobby and crowed past people into the elevator. Several people yelled at us, I think because we were pretty racked-up looking, but Dally had nothing on his mind except Johnny, and I was too mixed up to know anything but that I had to follow Dally. When we finally got to Johnny's room, the doctor stopped us.**

"No!" Soda shouted.

"Soda, you know we got to see him." Pony shook his head. Sometimes his brother was good for a laugh.

"**I'm sorry, boys, but he's dying." "We gotta see him," Dally said, and flicked out Two-Bit's switchblade. His voice was shaking.**

"I'm sorry, but did you just say Dally's voice was shaking?" Steve asked Two-Bit.

"Yeah." Two-Bit was surprised as well.

"**We're going to see him and if you give me any static you'll end up on your own operatin' table." The doctor didn't bat an eye. "You can see him, but it's because you're his friends, not because of that knife." Dally looked at him for a second, then put the knife back in his pocket. We both went into Johnny's room, standing there for a second, getting our breath back in heavy gulps.**

"Darn it, he wasn't impressed with my knife," Two-Bit pouted.

"Not the time Two-Bit," Pony muttered. He knew what was coming. He still saw that day in his dreams.

**It was awful quiet. It was scary quiet. I looked at Johnny. He was very still, and for a moment I thought in agony: He's dead already. We're too late. Dally swallowed, wiping the sweat off his upper lip. "Johnnycake?" he said in a hoarse voice. "Johnny?" Johnny stirred weakly, then opened his eyes. "Hey," he managed softly.**

"Well, that's a good thing. Right? He can still speak." Tim tried to think positively, even though he knew what was going to happen. You'd have to be a Soc not to see what was going to happen.

"**We won," Dally panted. "We beat the Socs. We stomped them—chased them outa our territory." Johnny didn't even try to grin at him. "Useless…fighting's no good…" He was awful white. Dally licked his lips nervously. "They're still writing editorials about you in the paper. For being a hero and all." He was talking too fast and too calmly.**

"Dally in a calm mood means he's panicking on the inside." Tim muttered, remembering that part of his long dead friend. The part that had been hidden since he was ten.

"**Yeah, they're calling you a hero now and heroizin' all the greasers. We're all proud of you buddy." Johnny's eyes glowed. Dally was proud of him. That was all Johnny had ever wanted.**

The room was silent. Nobody knew what to say. The only person that had ever known that about Johnny was Ponyboy. Sure, they all knew (even Tim) that the kid never asked for much. But they never realized how much Johnny really looked up to the hood. Tim was the first to break the silence.

"But...Dally was always proud of him," he stuttered.

"Yeah. He just didn't show it." Soda sighed.

"**Ponyboy." I barely heard him. I came closer and leaned over to hear what he was going to say. "Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold…"**

Ponyboy was crying now, silent tears running down his cheeks. He didn't want to. In fact, he felt like such a wimp. But he had never forgotten those words. Five words. It meant so much more than anyone else in the gang would be able to understand. But one thing that was not lost on them was the fact that those five words had a special meaning to Ponyboy. Darry squeezed his shoulder, trying to show his comfort in ways he knew words couldn't. But right now, there was no comforting Ponyboy. Two-Bit looked at him, and he nodded, motioning for him to continue.

**The pillow seemed to sink a little, and Johnny died. You read about people looking peacefully asleep when they're dead, but they don't. Johnny just looked dead. Like a candle with the flame gone. I tried to say something, but I couldn't make a sound. Dally swallowed and reached over to push Johnny's hair back. "Never couldkeep that hair back..that's what you get for tryin' to help people, you little punk, that's what you got…" Whirling suddenly, he slammed back against the wall. His face contracted in agony, and sweat streamed down his face.**

"I'm not sure that was sweat," Pony muttered. Unless one could sweat from the eyes, then Pony was pretty certain Dally'd been crying.

"**Damnit Johnny…" he begged, slamming one fist against the wall, hammering it to make it obey his will. "Oh, damnit , Johnny, don't die, please don't die…" He suddenly bolted through the door and down the hall.**

Nobody said a word. Nobody needed to.

"Kid, you up for this?" Two-Bit asked Pony. They all knew what would be coming.

"Yeah, just give me the ruddy thing."

Two-Bit handed the book to Pony, hoping they could get through this next chapter quickly.

A/N: I hated writing this chapter. I cried so many times, I lost count. Today-Only-Happens-Once, thank you again for your comment ideas. I love them and find them useful.

Review!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

A/N: I OWN NOTHING!

Pony wiped his tears off on the back of his hand and began to read.

"**Chapter ten**," he said.

"**I walked down the hall in a daze. Dally had taken the car and I started the long walk home in a stupor. Johnny was dead. But he wasn't. That still body back in the hospital wasn't Johnny. Johnny was somewhere else—maybe asleep in the log, or playing the pinball machine in the bowling alley or sitting on the back steps of the church in Windrixville. I'd go home and walk by the lot, and Johnny would be sitting on the curb smoking a cigarette, and maybe we'd lie on our backs and watch the stars. He isn't dead, I said to myself. He isn't dead. And this time my dreaming worked. I convinced myself that he wasn't dead." **

Soda looked over at his little brother. He should have been with him that moment.

"**I must have wandered around for hours; sometimes even out into the streets, getting honked at and cussed out. I might have stumbled around all night except for a man who asked me if I wanted a ride. "Huh? Oh. Yeah, I guess so," I said. I got in. The man, who was in his mid-twenties, looked at me. "Are you alright, kid? You look like you've been in a fight." "I have been. A rumble. I'm okay." Johnny is not dead, I told myself, and I believed it. "Hate to tell you this, kiddo," the guy said dryly, 'but you're bleedin' all over my car seats." I blinked. "I am?" "Your head." I reached up to scratch the side of my head where it'd been itching for a while, and when I looked at my hand it was smeared with blood. "Gosh mister, I'm sorry," I said dumbfounded. "Don't worry about it. This wreck's been through worse. What's your address? I'm not about to dump a hurt kid out on the streets this time of night."**

"Nice guy," Steve said shocked. There weren't many who would drive a greaser home, even someone who lived on their side of town.

**I told him. He drove me to my house, and I got out. "Thanks a lot." What was left of our gang was in the living room. Steve was stretched out on the sofa, his shirt unbuttoned and his side bandaged. His eyes were closed but when the door shut behind me he opened them, and I suddenly wondered if my own eyes looked as feverish and bewildered as his.**

"They were worse," Steve whispered to Pony.

**Soda had a wide up on his lip and a bruise across his cheek. There was a Band-Aid over Darry's forehead and he had a black eye. One side of Two-Bit's face was taped up—I found out later he had four stitches in his cheek and seven in his hand where he had busted his knuckles open over a Soc's head. They were lounging around, reading the paper and smoking. Where's the party? I thought dully. Weren't Soda and Steve planning a party after the rumble?**

"Didn't feel like it," Soda shrugged when everyone looked over at him. "None of us wanted to party."

**They all looked up when I walked in. Darry leaped to his feat. "Where have you been?" Oh, let's don't start that again, I thought.**

Despite the severity of the chapter, Tim snorted. It was slightly funny.

**He stopped suddenly. "Ponyboy, what's the matter?" I looked at all of them, a little frightened. "Johnny…he's dead." My voice sounded strange, even to me.**

Darry didn't want to remember how his little brother sounded that night. He sounded out of breath yet unable to catch it at the same time. He was scared and Darry had no idea how to comfort him.

**But he's not dead, a voice in my head said. "We told him about beatin' the Socs and…I don't know, he just died." He told me to stay gold, I remembered. What was he talking about? There was a stricken silence. I don't think any of us had realized how bad off Johnny really had been. Soda made a funny noise and looked like he was going to start crying.**

Soda looked away. He had wanted to cry but knew that he had to stay strong, until Dally got there. Little did he know…

**Two-Bit's eyes were closed and his teeth were clenched, and I suddenly remembered Dally…Dally pounding on the wall… "Dallas is gone," I said. "He ran out like the devil was after him. He's gonna blow up. He couldn't take it." How can **_**I **_**take it? I wondered. Dally is tougher than I am. Why can I take it when Dally can't? And then I knew. Johnny was the one thing that Dally loved.**

A sudden silence fell over the group. They knew what was coming but they didn't know the reason—except for Pony of course.

**And now Johnny was gone. "So he finally broke." Two-Bit spoke everyone's feelings. "So even Dally has a breaking point." I started shaking. Darry said something in a low voice to Soda.**

"What did you say to him?" Pony asked Darry.

"I just told him to get you to sit down," he said. "You looked like you were about to faint."

"**Ponyboy," Soda said softly, like he was talking to an injured animal, "you look sick. Sit down." I backed up, just like a frightened animal, shaking my head. "I'm okay." I felt sick. I felt as if any minute I was going to fall flat on my face, but I shook my head.**

"Stubborn," Darry muttered.

"**I don't want to sit down." Darry took a step toward me, but I backed away. "Don't touch me," I said.**

"Kiddo, you really had me freaked out," Sodapop commented. He remembered how scared and lost Ponyboy had looked when he came home that night.

"Shoot, you had all of us freaked out," Darry replied.

"Sorry, guys. I was a little...mixed up," Ponyboy said.

"Yeah, yeah. Loving brother moment. Can we let the kid read?" Tim interrupted.

**My heart was pounding in slow thumps, throbbing at the side of my head, and I wondered if everyone else could hear it. Maybe that's why they're all looking at me, I thought, they can hear my heart beating…**

"No we all were wondering what was wrong with you," Two-Bit said. "You looked like you were in a room full of Socs."

**The phone rang, and after a moment's hesitation, Darry turned from me to it. He said "Hello" and then listened. He hung up quickly. "It was Dally. He phoned from a booth. He's just robbed a grocery store and the cops are after him. We gotta hide him. He'll be at the lot in a minute." We all left the house at a dead run, even Steve,**

"Of course I would," Steve said. "Dally was my buddy after all. Us greasers have to stick together."

**and I wondered vaguely why no one was doing somersaults off the steps this time. Things were sliding in and out of focus and it seemed funny to me that I couldn't run in a straight line.**

Darry and Soda stared straight at their little brother. Why hadn't he told them? Was it because he really wanted to seem like the rest of the gang? To fit in? Or was it something else? His health came before anything, heck any of their health was more important that anything.

**We reached the vacant lot just as Dally came in, running as hard as he could, from the other direction. The wail of a siren grew louder and then a police car pulled up across the street from the lot. Doors slammed as the policemen leaped out. Dally had reached the circle of light under the street lamp, and skidding to a halt, he turned and jerked a black object from his waistband. I remembered his voice: **_**I been carrying' a heater. It ain't loaded, but it sure does help a bluff.**_

"WHAT?" Tim yelped. He'd figured out.

"You didn't know?" Steve asked surprised.

"No, all I knew is that Dallas got shot by cops. I didn't know that he prompted it," Tim growled and he almost seemed upset. Dally though had been his buddy too throughout the years. Who else had the right to know how he died besides the Curtis gang?

**It was only yesterday that Dally had told Johnny and me that. But yesterday was years ago. A lifetime ago. Dally raised the gun and I thought: You blasted fool.**

Two-Bit chuckled under his breath. If only Dally had been here to hear that…

**They don't know you're only bluffing. And even as the policemen's guns spit fire into the night I knew that was what Dally wanted. He was jerked half around by the impact of the bullets, then slowly crumpled with a look of grim triumph on his face.**

If anyone had passed by the Curtis's house that night, they would have been alarmed at the number of tear tracks that were making their way down every greasers' cheeks.

**He was dead before he hit the ground. But I knew that was what he wanted, even as the lot echoed with the cracks of shots, even as I begged silently—Please, not him…not him and Johnny both—I knew he would be dead, because Dally Winston wanted to be dead and he always got what he wanted. Nobody would write editorials praising Dally. Two friends of mine died that night: one a hero, the other a hoodlum. But I remembered Dally pulling Johnny thought the window of the burning church; Dally giving us his gun, although it could mean jail for him. Dally risking his life for us, trying to keep Johnny out of trouble. And now he was just a dead juvenile delinquent and there wouldn't be any editorials in his favor. Dally didn't die a hero. He died violent and young and desperate, just like we all knew he'd die someday. Just like Tim Shepard and Curly Shepard, and the Burmly boys and the other guys we knew would die someday.**

Tim didn't even comment. He knew that was the truth. Boys who lived the way he and his gang did were just destined to die young, violently and desperately.

**But Johnny was right. He died gallant.**

The room was silent. It felt...different hearing Ponyboy read it than it would if anyone else did. And though they couldn't explain it, each in their own way knew exactly what Ponyboy meant.

**Steve stumbled forward with a sob, but Soda caught him by the shoulders. "Easy, buddy, easy," I heard him say softly," there's nothing we can do now." Nothing we can do…not for Dally or Johnny or Tim Shepard or any of us…My stomach gave a violent start and turned into a hunk of ice. The world was spinning around me and blobs of faces and visions of things past were dancing in the red mist that covered the lot. It swirled into a mass of colors and I felt myself swaying on my feet. Someone cried, "Glory, look at the kid!" And the ground rushed up to meet me very suddenly.**

"Hey," Ponyboy began. "Who did say that, anyway?"

"I think it was Two-Bit," Soda replied.

"Actually it was me and Steve," Two-Bit said. "Kid, you really scared us when you just passed out like that."

"Sorry about that. But...what happened after I passed out?"

"Soda and Darry nearly had a heart attack when you hit the ground," Steve answered. He had been the first to notice the kid, despite his mourning over Dally. He had even pointed it out to Two-Bit when Pony began swaying like that. It just burst out of him at the same time Two-Bit said it. Sodapop and Darry offered a small smile.

"And then Darry realized you were bleedin' and you had a fever and you looked real pale,"

"And so he told Sodapop to call an ambulance,"

Two-Bit and Steve fired off, picking up whenever the other person stopped to take a breath.

"_AND_ the long story short is that you went to the hospital, the doc said you had to stay there a few days, and then you came home. You were delusional the whole time," Darry interrupted. "Keep readin' Pon."

**When I woke up it was light. It was awfully quiet. Too quiet. I mean, our house just isn't naturally quiet. The radio's usually going full blast and the TV is turned up loud and people are wrestling and knocking over lamps and tripping over the coffee table and yelling at each other.**

"Like we'd have all that going during that time," Steve said softly. Pony looked down. He felt moronic for not remembering Dally's death or Johnny's.

**Something was wrong, but I couldn't quite figure it out. Something had happened…I couldn't remember what. I blinked at Soda bewilderedly. He was sitting on the edge of the bed watching me. "Soda…" –my voice sounded weak and horse**

Two-Bit wanted to make a comment about how that would be the perfect voice for a kid named Ponyboy but thought it might have been the wrong time.

—" **is somebody sick?" "Yeah." His voice was oddly gentle.**

Soda resisted the urge to roll his eyes. His kid brother was sick. It wasn't like he'd be shouting and joyful!

"**Go back to sleep now." An idea was slowly dawning on me. "Am **_**I **_**sick?" He stroked my hair. "Yeah, you're sick. Now be quiet." I had one more question. I was still kind of mixed up. "Is Darry sorry I'm sick?" I had a funny feeling that Darry was sad because I was sick.**

Steve and Two-Bit cracked up. Ponyboy rolled his eyes and managed to stop the blush that was creeping into his cheeks as he pressed on with the story.

**Everything seemed vague and hazy. Soda gave me a funny look. He was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, he's sorry you're sick. Now please shut up, will ya, honey? Go back to sleep." I closed my eyes. I was awful tired. When I woke up next, it was daylight and I was hot under all the blankets on me. I was thirsty and hungry, but my stomach was so uneasy I knew I wouldn't be able to hold anything down. Darry had pulled the armchair into the bedroom and was asleep in it. He would be at work, I thought. Why is he asleep in the armchair?**

"Why?" Darry asked, astounded. "Glory, kiddo, because you were sick!"

"**Hey, Darry," I said softly, shaking his knee. "Hey, Darry, wake up." He opened his eyes. "Ponyboy, you okay?" "Yeah," I said, "I think so." Something had happened…but I still couldn't remember it, although I was thinking a lot clearer than I was the last time I'd waked up. He sighed in relief and pushed my hair back. "Gosh, kid, you had us scared to death." "What was the matter with me?" He shook his head. "I told you you were in no condition for a rumble. Exhaustion, shock, minor concussion—and Two-Bit came blubberin' over here with some tale about how you were running a fever before the rumble and how it was all his fault you were sick.**

Pony's eyes widened and then narrowed at Two-Bit who grinned back hesitantly. He'd forgotten about that part.

**He was pretty torn up that night." Darry said. He was quiet for a moment. "We all were." And then I remembered. Dallas and Johnny were dead. Don't think of them, I thought. (Don't remember how Johnny was your buddy, don't remember that he didn't want to die. Don't think of Dally breaking up in the hospital, crumpling under the street light. Try to think that Johnny is better off now, try to remember that Dally would have ended up like that sooner or later. Best of all, don't think. Blank your mind. Don't remember. Don't remember.)**

"Pony…" Soda said softly but Pony kept reading. He didn't want to talk about this and knew that was what Soda had in mind.

"**Where'd I get a concussion?" I said. My head itched, but I couldn't scratch it for the bandage. "How long have I been asleep?" "You got a concussion from getting kicked in the head—Soda saw it. He landed all over that Soc. I've never seen him so mad. I think he could have whipped anyone in the state he was in. Today's Tuesday and you've been asleep and delirious since Saturday night. Don't you remember?" "No," I said slowly. "Darry, I'm not ever going to be able to make up the school I've missed.**

"Only you kid," Steve shook his head. "Only you would worry about school at a time like that."

**And I've still got to go to court and talk to the police about Bob getting killed. And now…with Dally…" –I took a deep breath—" Darry do you think they'll split us up? Put me in a home or something?" He was silent.**

"What were you thinking Darry?" Pony asked.

"I don't remember," Darry said. That was of course a lie. He was thinking of the phone call he'd gotten before Pony woke up. It'd been from the State actually, calling to inform him that if Pony was charged with anything that he would have been taken from his custody and placed in a boy's home. Soda too.

"**I don't know baby. I just don't know." I stared up at the ceiling. What would it be like, I wondered, staring at a different ceiling? What would it be like in a different bed, in a different room? There was a hard painful lump in my throat that I couldn't swallow. "Don't you even remember being in the hospital?" Darry asked. He was trying to change the subject.**

"Was I that obvious?" Darry chuckled.

"Only a lot," Pony nodded with a small smile.

**I shook my head. "I don't' remember." "You kept asking for me and Soda. Sometimes for Mom and Dad, too. But mostly for Soda." Something in his tone of voice made me look at him. Mostly for Soda. Did I ask for Darry at all, or was he just saying that? "Darry…" I didn't know quite what I wanted to say. But I had a sick feeling that maybe I hadn't called for him while I was delirious, maybe I had only wanted Sodapop to be with me.**

Darry looked over at his youngest brother. He would never stop surprising him would he? "You didn't believe me?" he asked. Pony shook his head slightly.

**What all had I said while I was sick? I couldn't remember. I didn't want to remember. "Johnny left you his copy of **_**Gone with the Wind**_**. Told the nurse he wanted you to have it." I looked at the paperback lying on the table. I didn't want to finish it. I'd never get past the part where Southern gentlemen go riding into sure death because they are gallant. Southern gentlemen with big black eyes in blue jeans and T-shirts. Southern gentlemen crumpling under streetlights. Don't remember. Don't try to decide which one died gallant. Don't remember.**

Pony's voice shook a little as he read the part of the southern gentlemen being gallant. Reading this essay was pulling old memories up that he'd rather stay forgotten. Like the gnawing pain that he felt after Johnny and Dally died. Yeah, he'd rather that stayed forgotten.

"**Where's Soda?" I asked, and then I could have kicked myself. Why can't you talk to Darry, you idiot? I said to myself. Why do you feel uncomfortable talking to Darry? "Asleep, I hope.**

Soda pouted making everyone chuckle. Two-Bit and him were the only ones that could lighten the mood that was stifling with pessimism.

"Pepsi, you might have hurt yourself if you didn't get some sleep," Darry said.

"Still!" Soda huffed. "Doesn't mean you have to say that you hope I'm asleep around Pony."

"Why?" Pony asked.

"Cause it makes Darry sound cooler!"

**I thought he was going to go to sleep shaving this morning and cut his throat. I had to push him to bed, but he was out like a light in a second." Darry's hopes that Soda was asleep were immediately ruined, because he came running in, clad only in a pair of blue jeans. "**

Soda's smirk vanished when he was smacked straight in the face with a pillow.

**Hey, Ponyboy!" he yelped and leaped for me, but Darry caught him. "No rough stuff, little buddy." So Soda had to content himself with bouncing up and down on the bed and pounding on my shoulder.**

Pony rolled his eyes as everyone chuckled at Soda's antics. You couldn't help but love Soda at times.

"**Gosh, but you were sick. You feel okay now?" "I'm okay. Just a little hungry." "I should think you would be," Darry said. "You wouldn't eat anything most of the time you were sick. How'd you like some mushroom soup?"**

"I'd love some!"

"I wasn't asking you Two-Bit," Pony said making the elder greaser pout.

**I suddenly realized just how empty I was. "Man, I'd like that just fine." "I'll go make some. Sodapop, take it easy with him, okay?" Soda looked back at him indignantly. "You'd think I was going to challenge him to a track meet or something right off the bat."**

"Did you?"

"No Two-Bit." Pony sighed. Were they ever going to get through this essay before he could throw it under his bed and pretend it didn't exist?

"**Oh, no," I groaned. "Track meet. I guess this just about puts me out of every race. I won't be back in condition for the meets. And the coach was counting on me." "Golly, there's always next year." Soda said. Soda never has grasped the importance Darry and I put on athletics.**

Soda gaped at the book, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Steve smirked. After all the complements and praises that Soda had gotten throughout the entire essay (Greek God, Doll, Southern Gentleman…the list went on!) he was finally given an insult.

Not that he didn't want Soda to be insulted. He was just getting tired of the endless compliments.

**Like he never has understood why we went all-out for studying.**

"Cause you don't know how to have fun," Soda muttered under his breath.

"**Don't sweat it about some track meet." "Soda," I said suddenly. "What all did I say while I was delirious?" "Oh you thought you were in Windrixville most of the time. Then you kept saying that Johnny didn't mean to kill that Soc. Hey I didn't know you didn't like baloney."**

Steve made a face at the mention of the lunch meat, and Two-Bit chuckled.

Soda rolled his eyes at his friend's antics.

**I went cold. "I don't like it. I never liked it."**

The room felt uncomfortable again. Was this how Pony felt every time someone brought up Johnny or Dally? If so, no wonder it took him a while to fully grieve for them.

**Soda just looked at me. "You used to eat it. That's why you wouldn't eat anything while you were sick. You kept saying you didn't like baloney, no matter what it was we were trying to get you to eat."**

"And we tried everything," Soda said. "Berries, cake, soup…"

"The list is really endless," Darry nodded.

"**I don't like it," I repeated. "Soda, did I ask for Darry while I was sick?" "Yeah, sure," he said looking at me strangely. "You asked for him and me both. Sometimes Mom and Dad. And for Johnny." "Oh. I thought maybe I didn't ask of Darry. It was bugging me." Soda grinned. "Well, you did so don't worry. We stayed with you so much that the doctor told us we were going to end up in the hospital ourselves if we didn't get some sleep.**

"Though the fact remains that Soda never gets sick!" Steve griped.

"Should he be the one complaining?" Darry asked. "As you've probably left him alone at the DX?"

"No, because Stevie here is jealous," Two-Bit said and ducked a pillow thrown at him.

**But we didn't get any anyway." I took a good look at him. He looked completely worn out; there were circles under his eyes and he had a tense, tired look to him.**

"Doesn't hold back does he?" Tim smirked.

**Yet his dark eyes were still laughing and carefree and reckless. "You look beat," I said frankly. "I bet you ain't had three hours sleep since Saturday night." He grinned but didn't deny it. "Scoot over." He crawled next to me and flopped down and before Darry came back in with the soup we were both asleep. **

"All was right with the world," Darry smiled. "At least at that moment."

"Okay Soda, your turn," Pony said and Soda grimaced. He didn't want to read the essay anymore. But he took the thing from his little brother anyway.

A/N: _I am so sorry! This is so late of an update isn't it? Well what happened was that I had the chapter all typed up and everything and then my computer deletes it. So I'm trying to type it back up again and I misplace my copy of The Outsiders! Turns out my English textbook ate it. So I found it and that's why you're finally getting a new chapter. _

_Thanks again to Today-Only-Happens-Once for her comment ideas. I really love them. Some of you wanted Steve to be the one to say, "Glory look at the kid!" but I love Two-Bit too much. So I had it so they both said it. Never said that Pony heard only once voice, only that someone said it._


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

A/N: I OWN NOTHING!

"**Chapter 11," ** Soda read.

**I HAD TO STAY IN BED a whole week after that. **

"Fun!" Two-Bit smiled.

**That bugged me; I'm not the kind that can lie around looking at the ceiling all the time.**

"It's a very white ceiling," Pony noted. "Darry, can we paint something on it so it's a little more interesting?"

"We'll see Pon."

**I read most of the time, and drew pictures. One day I started flipping through one of Soda's old yearbooks and came across a picture that seemed vaguely familiar. Not even when I read the name Robert Sheldon did it hit me who it was. And then I finally realized it was Bob.**

"That must have been the year before I dropped out," Soda muttered. "One of only three times I saved up the money for a yearbook."

**I took a real good long look at it.**

"Why?" Tim asked.

**The picture didn't look a whole lot like the Bob I remembered, but nobody ever looks a whole lot like his picture in a yearbook anyway.**

"Except for Soda," Pony noted.

**He had been a sophomore that year**

"Yep, year before I dropped out," Soda nodded.

—**that would make him about eighteen when he died. Yeah, he was good-looking even then, with a grin that reminded me of Soda's, a kind of reckless grin. **

Soda began to wonder if he was giving a good example for his little brother. Was he too reckless?

**He had been a handsome black-haired boy with dark eyes- maybe brown, like Soda's, maybe dark-blue, like the Shepard boys'. Maybe he'd had black eyes. Like Johnny. I had never given Bob much thought—I hadn't had time to think. But that day I wondered about him. What was he like?**

"Annoying as sin," Steve growled under his breath.

**I knew he liked to pick fights, had the usual Soc belief that living on the West Side made you Mr. Super-Tuff, looked good in dark wine-colored sweaters, and was proud of his rings. **

"That's all you need to know," Tim nodded.

**But what about the Bob Sheldon that Cherry Valance knew? She was a smart girl; she didn't like him just because he was good-looking. **

"Kid has a point," Two-Bit nodded.

**Sweet and friendly, stands out from the crowd- that's what she had said. A real person, the best buddy a guy ever had, kept trying to make somebody stop him- Randy had told me that. Did he have a kid brother who idolized him?**

"No, but he had an older brother," Darry said. "Played on the team with me and Paul."

**Maybe a big brother who kept bugging him not to be so wild?**

Darry nodded a bit.

**His parents let him run wild- because they loved him too much or too little? Did they hate us now? I hoped they hated us, that they weren't full of that pity-the-victims-of-environment junk the social workers kept handing Curly Shepard every time he got sent off to reform school.**

"The last woman actually tried to take Angel away too," Tim said. "I just gave her one look and she ran off."

**I'd rather have any body's hate than their pity. But, then, maybe they understood, like Cherry Valance. I looked at Bob's picture and I could begin to see the person we had killed. A reckless, hot-tempered boy, cocky and scared stiff at the same time.**

"You need to stop thinking Pony," Soda said, rubbing his head.

**"Ponyboy."**

**"Yeah?" I didn't look up. I thought it was the doctor. He'd been coming over to see me almost every day, although he didn't do much except talk to me.**

"Annoying," Pony muttered.

**"There's a guy here to see you. Says he knows you." Something in Darry's voice made me look up, and his eyes were hard. "His name's Randy."**

Pony gave Darry a look but Darry just shook his head. He'd explain later, when Tim and the others weren't around.

**"Yeah, I know him," I said.**

**"You want to see him?"**

**"Yeah." I shrugged. "Sure, why not?"**

**A few guys from school had dropped by to see me; I have quite a few friends at school even if I am younger than most of them and don't talk much. **

"But I'm not bragging or anything," Soda said with a slight smirk.

"Shut it, Soda," Pony chuckled.

**But that's what they are- school friends, not buddies. I had been glad to see them, but it bothered me because we live in kind of a lousy neighborhood and our house isn't real great. It's run-down looking and everything, and the inside's kind of poor-looking, too, even though for a bunch of boys we do a pretty good job of house-cleaning.**

"Because the State would have you and Soda out of there in a second if they thought I didn't take care of the house along with you," Darry said.

**Most of my friends at school come from good homes, not filthy rich like the Socs, but middle class, anyway. It was a funny thing- it bugged me about my friends seeing our house. But I couldn't have cared less about what Randy thought.**

**"Hi, Ponyboy." Randy looked uncomfortable standing in the doorway.**

**"Hi, Randy," I said. "Have a seat if you can find one." Books were lying all over everything. He pushed a couple off a chair and sat down.**

"How'd that place become a pigsty if you were confined to your bed?" Steve asked.

**"How you feeling? Cherry told me your name was on the school bulletin."**

**"I'm okay. You can't really miss my name on any kind of bulletin."**

**He still looked uncomfortable, although he tried to grin.**

**"Wanna smoke?" I offered him a weed, but he shook his head. "No, thanks. Uh, Ponyboy, one reason I came here was to see if you were okay, but you- we- got to go see the judge tomorrow."**

Everyone stiffened, even thought they knew the results of the case.

**"Yeah," I said, lighting a cigarette. "I know. Hey, holler if you see one of my brothers coming. I'll catch it for smoking in bed."**

"Or in the house," Darry muttered.

**"My dad says for me to tell the truth and nobody can get hurt. He's kind of upset about all this. I mean, my dad's a good guy and everything, better than most, and I kind of let him down, being mixed up in all this."**

Tim looked at the essay in shock. A Soc actually cared for someone other than himself? Despite all the evidence, he still couldn't believe it.

**I just looked at him. That was the dumbest remark I ever heard anyone make. He thought he was mixed up in this? He didn't kill anyone, he didn't get his head busted in a rumble, it wasn't his buddy that was shot down under a street light. Besides, what did he have to lose? His old man was rich, he could pay whatever fine there was for being drunk and picking a fight.**

"Actually it would be attempted murder," Darry said in a soft voice. He remembered reading about it in his Government class. "At least it should."

**"I wouldn't mind getting fined," Randy said, "but I feel lousy about the old man. And it's the first time I've felt anything in a long time."**

"Randy really cared for Bob, huh?" Soda said in surprise.

**The only thing I'd felt in a long time was being scared. Scared stiff. I'd put off thinking about the judge and the hearing for as long as I could. Soda and Darry didn't like to talk about it either, so we were all silently counting off the days while I was sick, counting the days that we had left together. But with Randy sticking solidly to the subject it was impossible to think about anything else. **

"Darry and I would talk about when you were asleep," Soda said. "We'd be up till the early hours."

**My cigarette started trembling.**

**"I guess your folks feel kind of awful about it, too."**

All the Curtis brothers winced a little. They still couldn't believe they lost their parents so early in life.

**"My parents are dead. I live here with just Darry and Soda, my brothers." I took a long drag on my cigarette. "That's what's worrying me. If the judge decides Darry isn't a good guardian or something, I'm liable to get stuck in a home somewhere. That's the rotten part of this deal. Darry is a good guardian; he makes me study and knows where I am and who I'm with all the time. I mean, we don't get along so great sometimes, but he keeps me out of trouble, or did. My father didn't yell at me as much as he does."**

Darry winced inwardly but he kept a stoic look on his face.

**"I didn't know that" Randy looked worried, he really did. A Soc, even, worried because some kid greaser was on his way to a foster home or something. That was really funny. I don't mean funny. You know what I mean.**

"Yeah," all the Greasers nodded.

**"Listen to me, Pony. You didn't do anything. It was your friend Johnny that had the knife..."**

Pony winced again. It was still hard thinking about Johnny.

**"I had it" I stopped him. He was looking at me strangely. "I had the knife. I killed Bob."**

**Randy shook his head. "I saw it. You were almost drowned. It was the black-headed guy that had the switchblade. Bob scared him into doing it. I saw it."**

"You can still remember that night?" Steve growled. "Then you weren't drunk enough."

He'd had nights where he forgot what he did when drunk. If Randy could remember who did what, then he wasn't drunk enough to hide behind booze.

**I was bewildered. "I killed him. I had a switchblade and I was scared they were going to beat me up."**

"Johnny had the switch," Two-Bit said softly.

**"No, kid, it was your friend, the one who died in the hospital..."**

Pony winced yet again. Even after two years, it still stung to hear Johnny mentioned like that.

**"Johnny is not dead." My voice was shaking. "Johnny is not dead."**

**"Hey, Randy" Darry stuck his head in the door. "I think you'd better go now."**

"Thanks Dar." Pony gave a little half smile.

**"Sure," Randy said. He was still looking at me kind of funny. "See you around, Pony."**

"He's decent, for a Soc," Steve noted.

"You've seen it's possible." Pony muttered.

**"Don't ever say anything to him about Johnny," I heard Darry say in a low voice as they went out. "He's still pretty racked up mentally and emotionally. The doc said he'd get over it if we gave him time."**

Darry sighed. Sure it helped Pony, but where was the help for Soda? His brother had more nightmares after that than you could count. It didn't help that it had happened the week Pony was sick.

**I swallowed hard and blinked. He was just like all the rest of the Socs. Cold-blooded mean. Johnny didn't have anything to do with Bob's getting killed.**

Pony looked down. He'd been lying to himself during that time, and it hurt even more to read it again.

**"Ponyboy Curtis, put out that cigarette!"**

"It's like you have cigarette powers," Pony pouted.

**"Okay, okay." I put it out. "I ain't going to go to sleep smoking, Darry. If you make me stay in bed there ain't anywhere else I can smoke."**

"Kid's got a point," Tin nodded.

**"You're not going to die if you don't get a smoke. But if that bed catches on fire you will. You couldn't make it to the door through that mess."**

**"Well, golly, I can't pick it up and Soda doesn't, so I guess that leaves you."**

"I can't believe you just said that!" Soda chuckled.

**He was giving me one of those looks. "All right, all right," I said, "that don't leave you. Maybe Soda'll straighten it up a little."**

"Hey!"

"If Soda was in charge of cleaning that room, it'd be messier than how it looked previously."

"Nice one , Darry!"

**"Maybe you can be a little neater, huh, little buddy?"**

"Is this….sibling banter I hear?" Steve gasped, shocked.

**He'd never called me that before. Soda was the only one he ever called "little buddy."**

"Not true!" Soda said with a smile. "When you were born up until you were three, that's all he would call you."

"Why'd he stop?" Pony asked.

"Soda got jealous," Darry smirked and Soda flung a pillow at him.

**"Sure," I said, "I'll be more careful."**

"That's it," Soda said. "Two-Bit, you're up."

"Last chapter," Two-Bit said with a small smile. "Let's get this over with."

A/N: Sorry, I know this has been a long time in the making. But, I've had real life stuff to worry about (HS Graduation, getting into college, etc.) But I'm still alive, and I've only one more chapter to go. Maybe two, if I decide to do a chapter where they all talk about what the gang found out.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 12

A/N: I OWN NOTHING!

"**THE HEARING WASN'T anything like I thought it would be**," Two-Bit read.

"You watched two hours of Perry Mason shows before the hearing," Soda reminded his brother.

**Besides Darry and Soda and me, nobody was there except Randy and his parents and Cherry Valance and her parents and a couple of the other guys that had jumped Johnny and me that night.**

"Of course they got off," Tim growled.

**I don't know what I expected the whole thing to be like- I guess I've been watching too many Perry Mason shows. Oh, yeah, the doctor was there and he had a long talk with the judge before the hearing. I didn't know what he had to do with it then, but I do now.**

"Huh?" Two-Bit asked.

**First Randy was questioned. He looked a little nervous, and I wished they'd let him have a cigarette.**

"Him or you?" Steve inquired.

**I wished they'd let me have a cigarette; I was more than a little shaky myself. Darry had told me to keep my mouth shut no matter what Randy and everybody said, that I'd get my turn. All the Socs told the same story and stuck mainly to the truth, except they said Johnny had killed Bob; but I figured I could straighten that point out when I got my turn.**

"Idiot," Tim muttered under his breath. Didn't Pony know that if he said that he'd been the one to kill Bob, that it was a sure fire way to be removed from Darry and Soda? Not that he cared or anything.

**Cherry told them what had happened before and after Johnny and I had been jumped- I think I saw a couple of tears slide down her cheeks, but I'm not sure.**

"They did," Darry nodded.

**Her voice was sure steady even if she was crying. The judge questioned everyone carefully, but nothing real emotional or exciting happened like it does on TV. He asked Darry and Soda a little bit about Dally, I think to check our background and find out what kind of guys we hung out with. Was he a real good buddy of ours? Darry said, "Yes, sir;' looking straight at the judge, not flinching; but Soda looked at me like he was sentencing me to the electric chair before he gave the same answer.**

"Sorry Pon," Soda gave a small smile.

**I was real proud of both of them. Dally had been one of our gang and we wouldn't desert him.**

"Of course we wouldn't," Darry said firmly.

**I thought the judge would never get around to questioning me. Man, I was scared almost stiff by the time he did. And you know what? They didn't ask me a thing about Bob's getting killed. **

"Really?" Two-Bit raised an eyebrow.

**All the judge did was ask me if I liked living with Darry, if I liked school, what kind of grades I made, and stuff like that. I couldn't figure it out then, but later I found out what the doctor had been talking to the judge about.**

"He was talking about the fact that you seemed to have gotten the facts jumbled," Darry said softly. "He told me before we went in that day."

**I guess I looked as scared as I really was, because the judge grinned at me and told me to quit chewing my fingernails. That's a habit I have.**

"Yep," everyone nodded.

**Then he said I was acquitted and the whole case was closed. Just like that. Didn't even give me a chance to talk much. But that didn't bother me a lot. I didn't feel like talking anyway.**

"You never feel like talking," Steve noted.

**I wish I could say that everything went back to normal, but it didn't. Especially me. I started running into things, like the door, and kept tripping over the coffee table and losing things.**

"That's not much of a change," Two-Bit tried to insert some humor

**I always have been kind of absent-minded, but man, then, I was lucky if I got home from school with the right notebook and with both shoes on.**

Darry flinched at the reminder of that. He wished there had been something he could have done for his little brother.

**I walked all the way home once in my stocking feet and didn't even notice it until Steve made some bright remark about it.**

"Thanks Steve," Pony muttered.

**I guess I'd left my shoes in the locker room at school, but I never did find them. And another thing, I quit eating. I used to eat like a horse, but all of a sudden I wasn't hungry. Everything tasted like baloney. **

"Ugh," Steve wrinkled his nose. "Don't blame you kid."

Soda frowned though. He'd been very worried for his brother and knew that Steve had been just as worried. They couldn't afford to lose another family member after losing Johnny and Dally.

**I was lousing up my schoolwork, too. I didn't do too badly in math, because Darry checked over my homework in that and usually caught all my mistakes and made me do it again, but in English I really washed out. I used to make A's in English, mostly because my teacher made us do compositions all the time. I mean, I know I don't talk good English (Have you ever seen a hood that did?), but I can write it good when I try. At least, I could before. Now I was lucky to get a D on a composition.**

"How come I never knew this?" Darry asked. Pony's report card home had been reasonable.

**It bothered my English teacher, the way I was goofing up, I mean. He's a real good guy, who makes us think, and you can tell he's interested in you as a person, too. One day he told me to stay in after the rest of the class left.**

"That's a first," Two-Bit said.

**"Ponyboy, I'd like to talk to you about your grades."**

**Man, I wished I could beat it out of there. I knew I was flunking out in that class, but golly, I couldn't help it.**

"Yes you could," Darry muttered.

**"There's not much to talk about, judging from your scores. Pony, I'll give it to you straight. You're failing this class right now, but taking into consideration the circumstances, if you come up with a good semester theme, I'll pass you with a C grade."**

"That's a good guy," Soda said. None of his teachers let him do that.

**"Taking into consideration the circumstances" -brother, was that ever a way to tell me he knew I was goofing up because I'd been in a lot of trouble.**

"Those Socs were in the same trouble but everyone treated them the same," Steve growled.

**At least that was a roundabout way of putting it. The first week of school after the hearing had been awful. People I knew wouldn't talk to me, and people I didn't know would come right up and ask about the whole mess. Sometimes even teachers. And my history teacher- she acted as if she was scared of me, even though I'd never caused any trouble in her class. You can bet that made me feel real tuff.**

"Could have told me," Darry told Pony. He would have talked to his teachers for him.

**"Yessir," I said, "I'll try. What's the theme supposed to be on?"**

**"Anything you think is important enough to write about. And it isn't a reference theme; I want your own ideas and your own experiences."**

**My first trip to the zoo. Oh, boy, oh, boy. "Yessir," I said, and got out of there as fast as I could.**

"Good," Steve nodded.

**At lunch hour I met Two-Bit and Steve out in the back parking lot and we drove over to a little neighborhood grocery store to buy cigarettes and Cokes and candy bars. The store was the grease hang-out and that was about all we ever had for lunch.**

"Poor lunch," Darry noted but he was thankful that his little brother was at least eating something.

**The Socs were causing a lot of trouble in the school cafeteria- throwing silverware and stuff- and everybody tried to blame it on us greasers. We all got a big laugh out of that. Greasers rarely even eat in the cafeteria.**

"Nice!" Tim grinned.

**I was sitting on the fender of Steve's car, smoking and drinking a Pepsi while he and Two-Bit were inside talking to some girls, when a car drove up and three Socs got out.**

"No!" Soda gasped.

**I just sat there and looked at them and took another swal low of the Pepsi. I wasn't scared. It was the oddest feeling in the world. I didn't feel anything- scared, mad, or any thing. Just zero.**

_Like Dally,_ Tim thought. While he wouldn't have minded another Dally, he didn't think that the kid would have made a good one.

**"You're the guy that killed Bob Sheldon," one of them said. "And he was a friend of ours. We don't like nobody killing our friends, especially greasers."**

**Big deal. I busted the end off my bottle and held on to the neck and tossed away my cigarette "You get back into your car or you'll get split."**

"Wow," Tim raised his eyebrows in surprise.

**They looked kind of surprised, and one of them backed up.**

**"I mean it" I hopped off the car. "I've had about all I can take from you guys." I started toward them, holding the bottle the way Tim Shepard holds a switch- **

Tim smirked.

**out and away from myself, in a loose but firm hold. I guess they knew I meant business, because they got into their car and drove off.**

**"You really would have used that bottle, wouldn't you?" Two-Bit had been watching from the store doorway.**

"You watched but you didn't do anything?" Soda asked.

"Idiots," Darry muttered.

**"Steve and me were backing you, but I guess we didn't need to. You'd have really cut them up, huh?"**

**"I guess so," I said with a sigh. I didn't see what Two-Bit was sweating about- anyone else could have done the same thing and Two-Bit wouldn't have thought about it twice.**

_They're not you,_ Soda and Darry thought.

**"Ponyboy, listen, don't get tough. You're not like the rest of us and don't try to be..."**

**What was the matter with Two-Bit? I knew as well as he did that if you got tough you didn't get hurt. Get smart and nothing can touch you...**

_Exactly,_ Tim thought.

**"What in the world are you doing?" Two-Bit's voice broke into my thoughts.**

**I looked up at him. "Picking up the glass."**

Darry let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He didn't want to see his little brother turn into Dallas.

**He stared at me for a second, then grinned. "You little sonofagun," he said in a relieved voice. I didn't know what he was talking about, so I just went on picking up the glass from the bottle end and put it in a trash can. I didn't want anyone to get a flat tire.**

"Those are expensive," Two-Bit nodded.

"You'd know," Steve shot back.

**I tried to write that theme when I got home. I really did, mostly because Darry told me to or else.**

"Nice," Steve snorted.

**I thought about writing about Dad, but I couldn't. It's going to be a long time before I can even think about my parents. A long time. I tried writing about Soda's horse, Mickey Mouse, but I couldn't get it right; it always came out sounding corny. So I started writing names across the paper. Darrel Shaynne Curtis, Jr. Soda Patrick Curtis. Ponyboy Michael Curtis. Then I drew horses all over it. That was going to get a good grade like all git-out.**

"It probably would," Two-Bit teased.

**"Hey, did the mail come in yet?" Soda slammed the door and yelled for the mail, just the way he does every day when he comes home from work. I was in the bedroom, but I knew he would throw his jacket toward the sofa and miss it, take off his shoes, and go into the kitchen for a glass of chocolate milk, because that's what he does every day of his life. He always runs around in his stocking feet- he doesn't like shoes.**

"Things of evil!"

"We know, little buddy," Darry nodded.

**Then he did a funny thing. He came in and flopped down on the bed and started smoking a cigarette.**

"In the house?" Darry raised an eyebrow.

**He hardly ever smokes, except when something is really bugging him or when he wants to look tough. And he doesn't have to impress us; we know he's tough. **

"Thanks little brother," Soda smiled.

**So I figured something was bothering him. "How was work?"**

**"Okay."**

**"Something wrong?"**

**He shook his head. I shrugged and went back to drawing horses.**

**Soda cooked dinner that night, and everything came out right.**

"What?" Steve gasped.

**That was unusual, because he's always trying something different. One time we had green pancakes. Green. I can tell you one thing: if you've got a brother like Sodapop, you're never bored.**

"That's for sure," Darry nodded.

**All through supper Soda was quiet, and he didn't eat much. That was really unusual. Most of the time you can't shut him up or fill him up. Darry didn't seem to notice, so I didn't say anything.**

"Sorry Pepsi," Darry gave a small smile.

**Then after supper me and Darry got into a fuss, about the fourth one we'd had that week. This one started because I hadn't done anything on that theme, and I wanted to go for a ride. It used to be that I'd just stand there and let Darry yell at me, but lately I'd been yelling right back.**

"Most annoying month of my life," Soda muttered.

**"What's the sweat about my schoolwork?" I finally shouted. "I'll have to get a job as soon as I get out of school anyway. Look at Soda. He's doing okay, and he dropped out. You can just lay off!"**

"Yeah but I'm an idiot."

"NO YOU'RE NOT!" both Darry and Pony yelled at Soda. They were near the end of their ropes on that issue.

**"You're not going to drop out. Listen, with your brains and grades you could get a scholarship, and we could put you through college. But schoolwork's not the point. You're living in a vacuum, Pony, and you're going to have to cut it out. Johnny and Dallas were our buddies, too,**

There was a deep intake of breath from everyone in the room, even Tim.

**but you don't just stop living because you lose someone. I thought you knew that by now. You don't quit!**

"Good advice," Tim muttered.

**And any time you don't like the way I'm running things you can get out."**

**I went tight and cold. We never talked about Dallas or Johnny. **

**"You'd like that, wouldn't you? You'd like me just to get out. Well, it's not that easy, is it, Soda?" But when I looked at Soda I stopped. His face was white, and when he looked at me his eyes were wide with a pained expression. I suddenly remembered Curly Shepard's face when he slipped off a telephone pole and broke his arm.**

Tim inwardly winced. That had really scared him when it happened. Curly had only been eight when that happened. Tim thought Curly had died.

**"Don't... Oh, you guys, why can't you..." He jumped up suddenly and bolted out the door.**

"What the hell?"

**Darry and I were struck dumb. Darry picked up the envelope that Soda had dropped.**

**"It's the letter he wrote Sandy," Darry said without expression. "Returned unopened."**

"Oh," Steve said softly.

**So that was what had been bugging Soda all afternoon. And I hadn't even bothered to find out. And while I was thinking about it, I realized that I never had paid much attention to Soda's problems. Darry and I just took it for granted that he didn't have any.**

"That's because I rarely do," Soda said with a small smile.

**"When Sandy went to Florida... it wasn't Soda, Ponyboy. He told me he loved her, but I guess she didn't love him like he thought she did, because it wasn't him."**

"You didn't have to draw him a picture," Soda told Darry.

**"You don't have to draw me a picture," I said.**

**"He wanted to marry her anyway, but she just left." Darry was looking at me with a puzzled expression. "Why didn't he tell you? I didn't think he'd tell Steve or Two-Bit, but I thought he told you everything."**

"Didn't want to dump more on him," Soda said softly. Pony heard and sighed.

WHAM!

A pillow found its way to the back of the second Curtis's head.

**"Maybe he tried," I said. How many times had Soda started to tell me something, only to find I was daydream ing or stuck in a book? He would always listen to me, no matter what he was doing.**

"Which is saying something," Darry said. "Seeing as you usually talk to him when he's at work."

**"He cried **

"DAR!"

**every night that week you were gone," Darry said slowly. "Both you and Sandy in the same week."**

"Sounds like a shitty week," Tim said lightly.

**He put the envelope down. "Come on, let's go after him."**

"Thanks for remembering," Soda griped.

**We chased him clear to the park. We were gaining on him, but he had a block's head start.**

**"Circle around and cut him off," Darry ordered. Even out of condition I was the best runner.**

"No duh," all the Greasers other than Pony muttered.

**"I'll stay right behind him."**

**I headed through the trees and cut him off halfway across the park. He veered off to the right, but I caught him in a flying tackle before he'd gone more than a couple of steps.**

"Nice," Steve smirked and leaned over to high-five Pony.

**It knocked the wind out of both of us. We lay there gasping for a minute or two, and then Soda sat up and brushed the grass off his shirt.**

**"You should have gone out for football instead of track."**

_No, because Darry did football,_ Pony thought. He liked track mainly because Darry hadn't done it. There wasn't much one could do to make a name for himself when one was the youngest sibling.

**"Where did you think you were going?" I lay flat on my back and looked at him. Darry came up and dropped down beside us.**

"Took you a while Dar," Pony chuckled.

**Soda shrugged. "I don't know. It's just... I can't stand to hear y'all fight. Sometimes... I just have to get out or... it's like I'm the middleman in a tug o' war and I'm being split in half. You dig?"**

"Sorry Pepsi," Darry said with a frown. Wow, what a really poor guardian he was. One brother thought he hated him and the other was put in the middle of his fights.

Soda and Pony exchanged a glance with each other and grabbed a pillow.

WHAM!

"What was that for?" Darry asked, rubbing his head as two pillows bounced off of it.

"You were beginning to blame and doubt yourself," Pony said simply.

**Darry gave me a startled look. Neither of us had realized what it was doing to Soda to hear us fight. I was sick and cold with shame. What he said was the truth. Darry and I did play tug of war with him, with never a thought to how much it was hurting him.**

"Well," Steve said, "you may not have but I've gotten an earful a time or two."

**Soda was fiddling with some dead grass. "I mean, I can't take sides.**

"We're not asking you to," Darry said softly.

**It'd be a lot easier if I could, but I see both sides. Darry yells too much and tries too hard and takes everything too serious,**

"Someone has to be," Pony and Soda said before Darry got the chance.

**and Ponyboy, you don't think enough, you don't realize all Darry's giving up just to give you a chance he missed out on. **

"Well the kid was only fourteen," Two-Bit shrugged. "Darry was twenty. That's a six year difference."

"Who are you and what have you done to Two-Bit?" Steve asked. "If you knew that, then why have you been failing High School all these years?"

"Keeps me here," Two-Bit said simply but everyone knew what he meant. Even though he was over eighteen, he'd been lucky in avoiding the draft. They were all beginning to think that it was the fact that he was still in High School.

**He could have stuck you in a home somewhere and worked his way through college.**

"But then I'd have to hate you," Darry said firmly.

**Ponyboy, I'm telling you the truth. I dropped out because I'm dumb.**

"Keep those pillows on the ground!" Soda said quickly as he saw the look Darry and Pony shared.

**I really did try in school, but you saw my grades. Look, I'm happy working in a gas station with cars. You'd never be happy doing something like that.**

"I dunno. He hangs around the DX enough," Steve chuckled.

**And Darry, you ought to try to understand him more, and quit bugging him about every little mistake he makes. He feels things differently than you do."**

Darry winced. It stung that he couldn't understand his own brother.

**He gave us a pleading look. "Golly, you two, it's bad enough having to listen to it, but when you start trying to get me to take sides..." Tears welled up in his eyes.**

"Thanks Pon," Soda said dryly.

**"We're all we've got left. We ought to be able to stick together against everything. If we don't have each other, we don't have anything. If you don't have anything, you end up like Dallas... and I don't mean dead, either.**

"Though he did end up dead," Steve muttered.

**I mean like he was before. And that's worse than dead. Please"- he wiped his eyes on his arm- "don't fight anymore."**

Darry and Pony smiled at each other. They'd been good about that.

**Darry looked real worried. I suddenly realized that Darry was only twenty, that he wasn't so much older that he couldn't feel scared or hurt and as lost as the rest of us.**

"Ah, the perks of being a parent," Darry smirked.

"No, the perks of being an older brother," Soda corrected. "Your little brother thinks you can do no wrong."

"Aw, shove off!" Pony growled, his ears turning pink.

**I saw that I had expected Darry to do all the understanding without even trying to understand him. And he had given up a lot for Soda and me.**

**"Sure, little buddy," Darry said softly. "We're not going to fight anymore."**

"They've been good about that," Soda grinned. "I think they've only fought once and that was simply because someone stayed out an hour past curfew."

"My curfew's at eight!" Pony protested. "I'm sixteen, Dar. Don't you think it's time that's extended?"

"I'll think about it," Darry said. Truth be told, he kept it at eight because he didn't want to see his youngest brother grow up.

**"Hey, Ponyboy"- Soda gave me a tearful grin- "don't you start crying, too. One bawl-baby in the family's enough."**

"I wasn't crying!" Pony grumbled.

**"I'm not crying," I said. Maybe I was. I don't remember. Soda gave me a playful punch on the shoulder.**

**"No more fights. Okay, Ponyboy?" Darry said.**

**"Okay," I said. And I meant it. Darry and I would probably still have misunderstandings- we were too different not to-**

"That's saying something," Tim muttered.

**but no more fights. We couldn't do anything to hurt Soda. Sodapop would always be the middleman, but that didn't mean he had to keep getting pulled apart. Instead of Darry and me pulling me apart, he'd be pulling us together.**

"That, I can handle," Soda grinned.

**"Well," Soda said, "I'm cold. How about going home?"**

**"Race you," I challenged, leaping up.**

"Heh, no thanks," Darry and Soda said and chuckled as Pony pouted.

**It was a real nice night for a race. The air was clear and cold and so clean it almost sparkled. The moon wasn't out but the stars lit up everything. It was quiet except for the sound of our feet on the cement and the dry, scraping sound of leaves blowing across the street. It was a real nice night. I guess I was still out of shape, because we all three tied. No. I guess we all just wanted to stay together.**

"We thought you were going easy on us," Darry said with a chuckle.

**I still didn't want to do my homework that night, though. I hunted around for a book to read, but I'd read everything in the house about fifty million times, even Darry's copy of The Carpetbaggers, though he'd told me I wasn't old enough to read it. I thought so too after I finished it. **

"You do use your head," Darry muttered.

**Finally I picked up Gone with the Wind and looked at it for a long time. I knew Johnny was dead. I had known it all the time, even while I was sick and pretending he wasn't. It was Johnny, not me, who had killed Bob -I knew that too.**

"Finally," they all sighed in relief. That meant that Pony was soon to recover from this experience.

**I had just thought that maybe if I played like Johnny wasn't dead it wouldn't hurt so much. The way Two-Bit, after the police had taken Dally's body away, had griped because he had lost his switchblade when they searched Dallas,**

**"Is that all that's bothering you, that switchblade?" a red-eyed Steve had snapped at him.**

**"No," Two-Bit had said with a quivering sigh, "but that's what I'm wishing was all that's bothering me."**

"How'd you get it back?" Pony asked.

"You don't want to know," Steve said quickly.

**But it still hurt anyway. You know a guy a long time, and I mean really know him, you don't get used to the idea that he's dead just overnight. **

_Like Mom and Dad,_ all the Curtis brothers thought sadly.

**Johnny was something more than a buddy to all of us. I guess he had listened to more beefs and more problems from more people than any of us. A guy that'll really listen to you, listen and care about what you're saying, is something rare.**

"Yeah, it is," Soda said softly as he looked at Steve.

**And I couldn't forget him telling me that he hadn't done enough, hadn't been out of our neighborhood all his life- and then it was too late. I took a deep breath and opened the book. A slip of paper fell out on the floor and I picked it up.**

_**Ponyboy, I asked the nurse to give you this book so you could finish it**_**. It was Johnny's handwriting. I went on reading, almost hearing Johnny's quiet voice. The doctor came in a while ago but I knew anyway. I keep getting tireder and tireder.**_** Listen, I don't mind dying now. It's worth it. It's worth saving those kids. Their lives are worth more than mine, they have more to live for. Some of their parents came by to thank me and I know it was worth it. Tell Dally it's worth it. I'm just going to miss you guys. I've been thinking about it, and that poem, that guy that wrote it, he meant you're gold when you're a kid, like green. When you're a kid everything's new, dawn. It's just when you get used to everything that it's day. Like the way you dig sunsets, Pony. That's gold. Keep that way, it's a good way to be. I want you to tell Dally to look at one. He'll probably think you're crazy, but ask for me. I don't think he's ever really seen a sunset. And don't be so bugged over being a greaser. You still have a lot o f time to make yourself be what you want. There's still lots of good in the world. Tell Dally. I don't think he knows. Your buddy, Johnny.**_

"Dally? A sunset?" Tim raised an eyebrow.

**Tell Dally. It was too late to tell Dally. Would he have listened? I doubted it. Suddenly it wasn't only a personal thing to me. I could picture hundreds and hundreds of boys living on the wrong sides of cities, boys with black eyes who jumped at their own shadows. Hundreds of boys who maybe watched sunsets and looked at stars and ached for something better.**

_Kid's got a point,_ Steve thought. _Greasers all over this country are getting dragged over to 'Nam while the Socs get out of it due to their money._

**I could see boys going down under street lights because they were mean and tough and hated the world, and it was too late to tell them that there was still good in it, and they wouldn't believe you if you did. It was too vast a problem to be just a personal thing. There should be some help, someone should tell them before it was too late. Someone should tell their side of the story, and maybe people would understand then and wouldn't be so quick to judge a boy by the amount of hair oil he wore. It was important to me.**

"Is this how you came up with your theme?" Soda asked. Pony nodded. Darry smiled; he was proud of his brother.

**I picked up the phone book and called my English teacher.**

**"Mr. Syme, this is Ponyboy. That theme- how long can it be?"**

**"Why, uh, not less than five pages." He sounded a little surprised. I'd forgotten it was late at night.**

"Smooth," Two-Bit chuckled.

**"Can it be longer?"**

**"Certainly, Ponyboy, as long as you want it."**

**"Thanks," I said and hung up.**

"Awkward," Soda sang.

**I sat down and picked up my pen and thought for a minute. Remembering. Remembering a handsome, dark boy with a reckless grin and a hot temper. A tough, tow-headed boy with a cigarette in his mouth and a bitter grin on his hard face. Remembering- and this time it didn't hurt- a quiet, defeated-looking sixteen-year-old whose hair needed cutting badly and who had black eyes with a frightened expression to them. **

_Dally and Johnny,_ the gang thought sadly. No one mentioned Bob; even though it was a shame that he died he had still tried to kill Pony.

**One week had taken all three of them. And I decided I could tell people, begin ning with my English teacher. I wondered for a long time how to start that theme, how to start writing about something that was important to me. And I finally began like this: **_**When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride**__**home...**_

"That's the end," Two-Bit said.

"Wow," Steve raised his eyebrows. "Kid, you're good."

"Well, I hate to go," Tim said, "but I've got to see a man about some beer."

Everyone waved goodbye to Tim as they made their way to the kitchen.

A/N: STILL ALIVE! *ducks flying projectiles*

Sorry! Had to make sure I wasn't a hermit for the first couple of months in college. That, and I kinda sorta forgot about this story seeing as my Human Growth and Development textbook was hiding my copy of The Outsiders.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

A/N: I OWN NOTHING! This is the end!

Two months had gone by since the gang had read Pony's theme, and since then the chance for the three brothers to talk about it was slim to none. Pony was determined to spend time away from the house while Soda and Darry were swamped with work.

"Okay," Soda said with a sigh after one work filled afternoon. "If one more Soc comes to the DX with a complaint which could be fixed if they changed their oil, I'm going to jump them."

"Wait until you have to roof houses for them," Darry groaned. "Then you'll have a valid reason to do so."

Both boys sat down on the sofa with a sigh.

"Dar?"

"Yeah Pepsi?"

Soda thought for a minute before he spoke.

"What did you think about Pony's theme?" he asked, his eyes still closed. Darry didn't answer. It was difficult enough to hear that Pony had almost died, not once but twice! If that Soc had dug his blade any higher or deeper…

"Dar?" Soda opened one eye.

"I guess it's a lot to take in," Darry let out a sigh. "I mean, you realize he almost _died_ Soda? Twice!"

Soda nodded. "Yeah, but what really stinks is that he never told us about that second time. We knew that it was in self-defense of course but—"

"We never got the whole story," Darry agreed. A moment of silence filled the room as the two brothers continued to think about the revelations of Pony's theme.

Soda had never known that Pony had thought so highly of him. Of course, Pony thought highly of everyone if they were nice and let him do his own thing. He even thought that Dally probably had a high spot on Pony's list right now for helping him and Johnny out after the fountain incident.

Darry just couldn't believe that his youngest brother had almost died twice while thinking he still hated him. How was he supposed to live with that? What if Pony still hated him?

"I wish Mom were here," both brothers said at the same time.

"Nothing was difficult when they were alive," Soda sighed. "The house was always fixed up thanks to Dad. Even when he had a hard day at work, he still found time to fix the roof or—"

"Sweep the deck," Darry added on. "Not to mention the way the house always smelt of fresh baked cookies or any other fresh baked good Mom made."

Both men knew that if the gang had ever found out about the fact that they had helped their mom at times bake those goods, they'd never hear the end of it. Of course, the chocolate cake didn't count.

"What are you two doing on the couch?" Steve asked.

"Don't you have your own home to go to?" Soda responded, causing Steve to throw his hat at his buddy.

"The old man was there," Steve replied. "You thinking about the kid's theme?"

"Yeah," Darry nodded. "It's still a lot to take in."

Before Steve could respond, Two-Bit walked in. Another change that occurred from the theme was that Two-Bit was actually responsible now. Well, not really but he stayed in school and was actually getting good grades now that he was studying.

"What's up?" he asked the gang. "Where's Pony?"

"Probably at track," Soda said. "Toss me a beer, would you Two-Bit?"

Two-Bit nodded and tossed him a can of beer. Soda finished it in two gulps.

"Bad day at work?" Two-Bit asked.

"Socs a plenty," Steve groaned. Two-Bit made a face, which showed his sympathy for his buddies.

Suddenly there was a shout from outside, causing the entire gang to jump up.

"You don't thing—"

"He's the only one not here," Darry pointed out. "Who else could it be? Curly? He's still in prison!"

"DARRY! SODA! TWO-BIT! STEVE!" Pony could be heard shouting. They all ran out of the house at light speed. There, the location of the first jump of Pony's life, was the youngest Curtis with four Socs on top of him.

"Hey!" Two-Bit shouted and ran them off. Soda and Steve helped out, punching a couple of them if they could reach it.

"You alright Pony?" Darry asked, being careful not to touch his youngest brother.

"Yeah Dar," Pony nodded. "They didn't get a chance this time to pull out a blade."

Pony had a couple of punch marks by his eye but most of his wounds were defensive. His brother had fought.

"You okay Pon?" Soda ran up and asked. "Ugh, we'll get some ice for your eye. Okay little brother?"

"Yeah," Pony nodded. The rest of the gang ran up too and sat Pony down on the sofa.

"Come on guys, I'm fine! It's just a punch or two," Pony protested. Darry shook his head. He didn't want the past to repeat itself.

"Kid, you know those guys are eighteen right?" Two-Bit asked.

"Yes, they're in my History class," Pony said. "Why does that matter?"

"Yeah Two-Bit," Soda turned to him. "Why does that matter?"

"Cause those guys could be arrested for assault if we filed it," Two-Bit said and glared at the stunned looks. "What?"

"Ever since we read Pony's theme, you've gotten smarter," Steve said. "Except for this thought, we're greasers! When is the law ever on our side?"

Two-Bit frowned. He hadn't thought of that.

"Guys I'm fine," Pony said with a shake of his head. "Now, if I'm not needed I've got Spanish home—"

"Who's that girl you're always talking to?" Two-Bit asked. "Sally someone, right?"

"Shut it Two-Bit!" Pony growled. He kinda liked Sally, and she was fun to hang around with if you ignored the fact that she was middle class.

"Girl?" Darry and Soda asked at the same time.

"What girl?" Steve asked as well. He was interested in the kid's experiences now that he had read about what had happened two years ago.

"It's nothing," Pony said. "Just a partner for Spanish."

Soda got up and led his little brother back to the couch. "Pony, has anyone ever given you The Talk before?"

"No," Pony said flatly. "She's just a friend Sodapop. You don't have to do this!"

Steve and Two-Bit chuckled.

"Oh but we do," Darry said. "I gave Soda The Talk when he started dating Sandy and Dad gave me The Talk when I entered my teen years."

Both boys shuddered at the memories.

"Why now?" Pony asked.

"Cause now we've got back up!"

Steve and Two-Bit blanched and hightailed it out of there.

"Some friends you are!" Soda shouted after them but closed the door gently. "Had to get them to leave somehow. Don't worry Pon, we're not going to give you The Talk."

"You're not?" Pony asked, looking relieved.

"No, but we did want to ask about your theme," Darry said, looking a bit awkward on the couch.

"What's there to ask?" Pony inquired. "I've already told you everything there is to know. It was written down on there."

"Do you still have certain feelings?" Soda prodded gently, knowing that he had to get this out in the open if his brothers were to stop acting awkwardly around each other.

"Is that what this is about?" Pony asked and turned to Darry. "Dar that was written two years ago. I no longer have those feelings and if I did, would I let you read that theme in the first place?"

Soda and Darry grinned at that. It was one thing to think he no longer thought Darry hated him but it was another thing for Pony to confirm it.

"I'm hungry, we've got any cake?" Pony got up and asked.

"In the fridge," Soda shouted back, plopping back down on the sofa. Everything was back to the way it was supposed to be.

SMASH!

"I'M OKAY!" Pony could be heard shouting from the kitchen. "Part of the roof just came crashing down is all."

Both brothers groaned and got up to help their younger brother clean up the mess.

"Hey, this isn't the roof," Darry frowned at the white dust. "This is—"

"Flour!" Soda shouted. "It's a flour war Darry! Defend yourself!"

Pony jumped up and started throwing the flour, which was past its expiration date so it couldn't be used anyway, at his brothers. The war only ended when Soda and Pony teamed up and threw the bag on Darry's head.

"Okay you two," a flour covered Darry said with a mock glare. "Showers, and then we clean this up!"

"Okay Dar," Soda said with a chuckle. Yep, everything was back to the way it was supposed to be.


End file.
